Problems with overbearing mentors

[George1902]

I'd like to try to reboot the discussion a bit to maybe get a different perspective instead of rehashing a topic that traditionally gets us nowhere.

How do we, as gracious professionals, deal with stubborn, overbearing individuals? When dealing with students, mentors, bosses, co-workers, employees, or any other relationship, knowing how to diffuse tense situations and patiently work through conflict is a valuable life skill.

One aspect of overbearing individuals is that they often don't listen effectively. They use pauses in conversation to think about what they're going to say next instead of listening to what's being said. Conversely, timid individuals often over-think and second-guess themselves to the point where they never get around to saying anything. To ensure everyone has a say a group can take turns, perhaps passing around an object to signal who's turn it is to talk. In one classroom setting I've used an eraser, for example. When a person has the totem of power, they can direct the conversation however they wish. They can agree with an idea, disagree, or take the conversation in a whole new direction if they choose. They're in control.

This method gives the overbearing individual a framework within which they can still get all their ideas out, but where they can also listen without feeling the constant need for interjection. It also guarantees the timid individuals their time to speak.