Attn: Present & Future College Students, Think carefully before you mentor

[Katie_UPS]

I've been thinking about this thread a lot, and I'm shifting my stance. While I think college should be your number one top priority in school and that is enough for one to sit back and think "hmm, maybe I should put this FIRST thing on the back burner for a second," I think that there is something equally as important to consider when debating whether to mentor in college or not.

Originally Posted by nlknauss

I think the best advice I can give is to listen to yourself. If you are doing something that makes you happy and are able to maintain a healthy life then keep doing it.

I agree a lot with this statement. Also, I'm going to disagree with this statement:

If you want to mentor in college, think of all the reasons why. To make this activity more meaningful, write them down. Don't sensor them, be honest. Did you come up with all your reasons?

Write them down before you continue reading, because its only effective if you're honest and if you continue reading you won't be honest.

Count them.

Now throw that number away because it doesn't matter.

Look at your reasons. How many of your reasons are reasons that only benefit/affect you. Is the reason "because I want to stay in FIRST"? That only affect you. Is the reason "It will be fun"? Cross off those reasons.

How many reasons do you have left?

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I'll do this activity:

Why did I want to be a mentor when I was 18 (to the best of my memory):
I wanted to still be in FIRST.
I wanted to be a successful young mentor.
I wanted to be important.
I thought it would be fun.
I wanted to say I started a team.
I had other friends that were mentoring and I wanted to mentor too.
I was told it was hard and I wanted to prove people wrong.
I wanted to be a strong female in FIRST for other girls.

Did I think about helping students, or wanting to inspire kids the way someone inspired me? Maybe. I don't remember. And honestly, I probably thought/said that because I had to. Not because it came to me naturally.

Now lets cross them off.

I wanted to still be in FIRST.
I wanted to be a successful young mentor.
I wanted to be important.
I thought it would be fun.
I wanted to say I started a team.
I had other friends that were mentoring and I wanted to mentor too.
I was told it was hard and I wanted to prove people wrong.
I wanted to be a strong female in FIRST for other girls.

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Only half a reason exists (and I crossed off half of it because I know part of it was self-serving). I had seven -yes I know I said that number doesn't matter- and only half a reason wasn't self-centered?*

Mentoring, I've learned, is not about me (thanks Mom!). Its not about how I feel or what I'll gain from it. Its not about making me feel important or useful or letting me stay with FIRST. And most young kids who want to mentor say "because I liked FIRST and I want to stay in FIRST." Which has nothing to do with the students or their team, which is already the wrong reason to mentor.

*I am being honest and laying myself out here. I highly recommend you be brutally honest with yourself. Additionally, I don't want flack about being weak-willed or selfish because I didn't sugar coat my thoughts. We all have some ugly in us.