How to manage unruly student who is ruining team

[rsegrest]

Chick,

Originally Posted by Taylor

Sometimes the team really needs the kid, and sometimes the kid really needs the team.

...and what Seth and Alan posted.

I PM'ed you with some info that might help.

[BulldozerChick]

Thank you all for taking the time to share your insights and advice. It's not my intention to violate a trust-I was just desperate! I am not a school, so no support from there. I did kindly ask the mom to attend, so that it could be a positive and learning experience for child and all participants. She said ok and showed up. No problems! Next meeting, she dropped him off and it was a disaster. In hindsite, I should've called her and asked her to come back. I did reiterate the need for a parent's presence at tonight's meeting, but haven't heard from her. This makes me sad because I think FIRST programs are great for outside-the-box kids, but hadn't been prepared for this. I appreciated the understanding and encouragement to talk to the parent in the first place. I liked the idea of giving him a task to be in charge of, which worked with his mom there.

Curious-at workshops outside of the season, do any FIRST programs have sessions on handling group dynamics? Any good references? Thank you!!

[Allison K]

Originally Posted by BulldozerChick

Curious-at workshops outside of the season, do any FIRST programs have sessions on handling group dynamics? Any good references? Thank you!!

Do a google search for 'day camp behavior management' or 'elementary classroom management.' I have hundreds of documents that I've saved from my multiple years as a day camp counselor and counselor trainer, but I haven't had time to compile them and organize them for FIRST programs applications. It's an overwhelming sea of information I'm sure, but you might be able to glean a few good ideas. I'll try and post a bulleted list of my favorite behavior and group dynamics management techniques over the weekend.

[BJT]

No babysitter, no involvement. For the sake of your team it needs to be that simple.

(Based on my limited knowledge of the situation)

[Chief Hedgehog]

Chick -

If it was a school team, then you may have the resources available. However, that doesn't always mean that you will. That is the double-edge sword of public education.

From what I have gathered is that your team is a 'club' team - along the lines of a 4H team. That is where the legalities may end for you.

However, you seem to be a concerned and compassionate mentor/coach. Kudos to you. What I am sensing is that the parents are looking more for a place for their high-needs child than they are looking for a guided outlet for their child.

And that falls back to the parents. If they are more interested in just dropping their child off and allowing you to deal with the situation - well, you have other responsibilities. I feel for you. All of us are in this for the members of our team - all of them. And like all of us mentors, you will fight for your team members to the bloody end - you will make certain that you can give them all that they deserve.

Sadly, some parents do not see this. I don't know the situation - I don't wish to know what the parents of this child deal with on a daily basis. I have four children of my own and they are all vying for attention on their own accord.

However, I do not know the needs of this child - and I do not know the needs of the parents. But if this student is taking away from the team (which is your paramount concern) and the parents seem unwilling to cooperate, then you must cut ties before it effects your team.

If you do not the parents will continue in their pattern; the student will continue in his/her patterns; and the team will grow to resent the student.

I feel it is in your best interest to cut ties early to save the team from distraction that the parents are unwilling to address in this situation.

I do feel for you. Good luck.

[who716]

i had a student on a Lego team i mentor who wouldn't participate and consistently made loud noises and random times that was very distracting, i could tell the other students were visibly distraught by it and it was clearly affecting them, the parents persisted the wanted there kid on the team and that its good for them and you can't argue or kick someone of a Lego team. so i asked the principal to sit in one day and he invited his older brother who is too old for the Lego team but not quite in high-school yet to join, this was very helpful as his brother was able to keep him engaged.

[Ether]

@OP: Were you able to find an acceptable resolution to this situation?