Poetry of Raven Feedback

[Raven_Writer]

Yes, I write poetry, and I am hoping to hear feedback about my site at http://silent-poet.vze.com (if that link doesn't work for some odd reason, go here). Any at all is welcome. Thank you.

[Iain]

"War Time Novelty"?
A Metallica fan, I see, I see.

[Raven_Writer]

Originally posted by Iain
"War Time Novelty"?
A Metallica fan, I see, I see.

lol, yea. I liked the song "One", and it gave me thoughts of past things, so hey.

[MBiddy]

Do you want feedback on the site itself or the poetry? The actual site is fine I guess. Very black.

In Nothing Will Matter, Mr. Game, I Like You and War Time Novelty, taking lines directly from Metallica songs is not cool. Be inspired by them or use one line as a base, but write a poem with your own words instead of stealing lines. At least give credit or something. Funny that you have that copyright message at the bottom.

As for poetry in general, you might want to try writing more poems that don't rhyme, or try to have longer lines. There are some really simple short rhymes in there and a LOT of lines that sound like you just put filler in so it would rhyme. Ouch.

[Raven_Writer]

Originally posted by MBiddy
Do you want feedback on the site itself or the poetry? The actual site is fine I guess. Very black.

In Nothing Will Matter, Mr. Game, I Like You and War Time Novelty, taking lines directly from Metallica songs is not cool. Be inspired by them or use one line as a base, but write a poem with your own words instead of stealing lines. At least give credit or something. Funny that you have that copyright message at the bottom.

As for poetry in general, you might want to try writing more poems that don't rhyme, or try to have longer lines. There are some really simple short rhymes in there and a LOT of lines that sound like you just put filler in so it would rhyme. Ouch.

Taking certain lines is not copyright infragment. Taking the whole song lyrics, or whatever and claiming them as your own without giving credit is. I didn't do that. Taking song titles is not copyright infragment. Taking titles is sort of a compliment. Short rhymes, long rhymes, it all depends on how and/or what the writter feels approperiate. I don't bloat the lines, because that ain't how I write. There should be no credit given right now because I haven't broken any laws or anything dealing with the saying "give credit where credit is due."

Thank you for your response, but I appreciate it better when people don't accuse me of breaking the law.

(I like using black for websites)

[evulish]

Not to be nitpicky...but this misquote stuck out:

Quote of the moment: "Quote the raven, nevermore" - Egar Allen Poe

I do believe it is, "Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'" - Edgar Allan Poe.

Sorry...small stuff bothers me (Spelling errors in quotes and names are bad...IMO. Spelling errors in general are icky...especially with all these fun spell checkers.)

[MBiddy]

From the Indiana University website I got this on plagiarism (http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/wts/plagiarism.html) that it is using:

another person's idea, opinion, or theory;
any facts, statistics, graphs, drawings--any pieces of information--that are not common knowledge;
quotations of another person's actual spoken or written words; or
paraphrase of another person's spoken or written words.

without crediting them. I think your poetry fits that description. But just the fact that you say you are a fan of Metallica yet you rip off their material boggles my mind. I am a huge Metallica fan and I would never try to steal their lyrics. And finally I want to do a little comparison here with some samples.

from Nothing Will Matter by Raven

Raven: These words couldn't be much more from the heart
Metallica: Couldn't be much more from the heart
R: Everything is near, no matter how far
M: So close, no matter how far

R: I never opened myself up like this before
M: Never opened myself this way
R: All these words are not just what I say
M: All these words I don't just say

R: Trust I sought found in you
M: Trust I seek and I find in you
R: Everyday brings me something new
M: Everyday for us something new

That's about every other line.

from I Like You by Raven

Raven: The window rapidly burns
Metallica: Still the window burns
R: Our time slowly turns
M: Time so slowly turns

R: I never opened myself up this way
M: Never opened myself this way
R: All these words, I don't just say
M: All these words I don't just say

R: Trust I seek, I find in you
M: Trust I seek and I find in you
R: My mind's open for another view
M: Open mind for a different view

R: This can't be much more from the heart
M: Couldn't be much more from the heart


Not cool dude. Just give credit or rewrite them or something.

[Raven_Writer]

Using your theory, I believe that you are saying this:

No matter what any other artist writes, they can not use curse words, or any words for that matter.

This philosophy is wrong. I am not violating any copyrighted material. Bands have done it, regular people have done it. No one could use words in your case because they are all copyrighted by the dictonary then. The words are already printed, but as long as you do not use the whole song and claim it as your own, it is not copyright infragment. You also need legal written permission if you do use the whole song. Take Kid Rock:

His song, "American Bada**", it uses the same music as Metallica uses for "Sad but True". KR gave credit.

I use the info on the offical copyright office. The link is at the bottom of my poetry. If you search on there, and find anything about what I may have done that breaks this law, then tell me, and I will give credit, or re-write it. But it's yours if you add, change, switch, or whatever words.

If you notice in Metallica and Linkin Park's "Hybrid Theory" CD, there's a statement saying "reprinted with permission". That is dealing with printing the song in whole, not just bits and peices.

evulish> Thanks, I'll fix that soon.

[HFWang]

IMO raven: if you are unwilling to take criticism of any sort, you should not ask for comments.

Further, I do think it is plagerism. Not just because your words are similar, but the order of presentation is waaay to similar. It isn't breaking the law if you have similar lines every so often, but when its every other line... :-/

Further, I really dislike the method of presentation. I suggest giving each poem its own page...

It is very black. Not just sort of black, but overly black, I sould suggest inserting more color variation. And not just your "listening to" ticker. Use BlogAmp if you want a text display...

Also, the navigation menu is very sparse, so I think its kind of weird that it takes up so much space for so little...

[Raven_Writer]

Originally posted by HFWang
IMO raven: if you are unwilling to take criticism of any sort, you should not ask for comments.

Further, I do think it is plagerism. Not just because your words are similar, but the order of presentation is waaay to similar. It isn't breaking the law if you have similar lines every so often, but when its every other line... :-/

Further, I really dislike the method of presentation. I suggest giving each poem its own page...

It is very black. Not just sort of black, but overly black, I sould suggest inserting more color variation. And not just your "listening to" ticker. Use BlogAmp if you want a text display...

Also, the navigation menu is very sparse, so I think its kind of weird that it takes up so much space for so little...

I apologize for my actions, and me and MBiddy talked about the issue, and I will re-write my poems. I don't really want to give it it's own page, because I'm on Brinkster w/ 30 megs of space (which can be used up fast), but I'll proably do what you said. I know it's a little to black, but I like working with black. I'll brighten up the colors and such. This one girl gave me an idea in school a while ago for it. The navigation is sparse because I didn't have much time to work on the layout. I'm currently thinking of a new design now. Thank you for your input.

Again, I apologize for my actions, comments, and reactions to the above posts made by anyone. I know it was wrong, I won't do it again.

[HFWang]

30 megs fills up fast, to be sure, but it doesn't fill up fast if you're just writing poems.

[Raven_Writer]

Originally posted by HFWang
30 megs fills up fast, to be sure, but it doesn't fill up fast if you're just writing poems.

True, I was still thinking when I wrote that that I had my other site up.