How to deal with unwelcoming Teammates

[HelloRobot]

Originally Posted by Chief Hedgehog

The great thing about a well organized FRC team is that there is always a place for everyone. That being said, I have no idea of your team structure or how large your team is. IF it is a large team, it will be easier to separate the warring parties. If it is a small team, place each person on a project that has different objectives.

I completely agree with Chief Hedgehog. Chances are, your team will have those two that can't get along. Your best bet would be keeping them separated or at least working on different tasks.

I remember one time, I had these two friends who really didn't like each other. But, they tolerated (or, at least tried to) each other whenever I was around. So it didn't eliminate the problem, but it helped. And it worked out on its own; their feud wasn't bad enough to get mentors involved. Sometimes waiting it out works, but if it turns bad, mentors should definitely get involved. Good luck!

Edit: I also agree with Mr. Stratis. DEFINITELY don't force them to work together if it will most likely go wrong. Maybe give them a "buddy" that's not each other. Team members typically have their own "cliques" of friends (however inclusive or exclusive), so they could theoretically fit into different groups. Again, good luck!

[JamesCH95]

Without specifics as to why one team member doesn't like the other it's hard to make a solid suggestion.

However, I will point this out: sometimes the team needs the student, and other times the student needs the team.

I have watched annoying, aggravating, nearly intolerable students turn into friendly, productive, great team members. Sometimes it happens quickly, other times it takes years, but I virtually always see improvements in students who stick with it. This is why we, on 95, make an effort to bond as a team and be as inclusive as possible. We are a very small team (about 10 active students this year) so we can't afford conflict.

I strongly believe in treating students like adult professionals, and this includes working together effectively despite personal differences.

Sometimes I will team two or more students who don't always get along to work on a project. Usually this helps the students get over their differences because they realize they're working towards a common goal and they have to work together to get there. If it doesn't, they sit down with a coach and talk out how to deal with the situation. Communication is key to solving these sorts of issues, not separation.

[MrJohnston]

Originally Posted by JamesCH95

Without specifics as to why one team member doesn't like the other it's hard to make a solid suggestion.

However, I will point this out: sometimes the team needs the student, and other times the student needs the team.

I have watched annoying, aggravating, nearly intolerable students turn into friendly, productive, great team members. Sometimes it happens quickly, other times it takes years, but I virtually always see improvements in students who stick with it. This is why we, on 95, make an effort to bond as a team and be as inclusive as possible. We are a very small team (about 10 active students this year) so we can't afford conflict.

I strongly believe in treating students like adult professionals, and this includes working together effectively despite personal differences.

Sometimes I will team two or more students who don't always get along to work on a project. Usually this helps the students get over their differences because they realize they're working towards a common goal and they have to work together to get there. If it doesn't, they sit down with a coach and talk out how to deal with the situation. Communication is key to solving these sorts of issues, not separation.

I agree with this completely. We have a really large team - some years well over 100 kids. Therefore we have some sort of student-to-student conflict every year. The above approach is essentially what I do - and it nearly always works.

[Libby K]

Something I cannot possibly stress enough is that this is something your mentors should be dealing with, not another student.

You've mentioned reporting it to your mentor, that was the way to go.

It's now up to the adults on your team to get to the root of the issue via discussion with the students and create a solution that works well for the team as a whole. It is not your job anymore, especially as an equally new member of the team.

I'm saying this as a student who was the only leader on her team for the first three years of its existence. Not fun - we needed adults for sure. It should not have been my responsibility to sort out personal things between other students - but we didn't have any mentors, at all - so it was. It put a great deal of strain on my personal friendships, and while I certainly learned a lot about conflict resolution and how to approach situations like this, I definitely don't recommend it for any student. There may also be forces at play in these situations that it's not appropriate for another high school student to be privy to.

Let the adults handle it now. As a student, your job is to help continue a culture of acceptance, learning, friendship, and mutual respect for each other. Keep on doing that.

[TedG]

I agree with what's been said here, the main points are that someone brings that type of behavior to a mentor's attention, especially the lead mentor.
It shouldn't have to get beyond that for something to be done.

In our team (as I suspect most others do too) we have a ZERO tolerance for bullying and discrimination!
We make that very clear at information meetings as well as before going to competitions.

I have actually needed to pull someone aside and speak to them about this type of behavior, and the problem didn't happen again, and the team noticed.

Bullying and mean people really burn my.. I just don't put up with it.

Good for you for stepping up and mentioning it to a mentor.