Stress, burnout, and stepping back

[Oblarg]

Chief Delphi, I'm in need of advice.

With the coming build season, I'm about enter my ninth year of FRC, and sixth year of mentoring.

Over the past few years, I have found that my exhaustion at the end of build season has increased steadily, to what I think is a likely unhealthy level. Let me summarize briefly:

Three years ago was my first time mentoring two teams and taking classes at the same time. It was tiring, but my role on both teams was limited and I came out of the end of competition season feeling tired but satisfied, intending to do more the next year.

Two years ago, my mentoring role on one of the teams increased greatly, and I took more classes. By the end of build season, I was thoroughly exhausted. At the end of spring break (all of which I spent working on a practice bot), I essentially spent three days in bed. At the end of competition season, I wanted to see/hear/do nothing related to robotics for the better part of two months. Somehow, miraculously, my grades were alright despite doing essentially no homework and missing lots of class. I resolved never to do that again, and not to increase my mentoring responsibilities moving forward.

Last year, despite my best efforts, my mentoring role on both teams increased (again). I did not take classes during the spring semester, because it might have killed me. The "I am saturated and do not want to see/hear/do robotics for a long while" point was reached about halfway through competition season. I was just as tired at the end of the whole thing as I was the year before, despite not having taken any classes. I shudder at the thought of what would have happened if I had.

Now, I've graduated, and another build season is almost here. Next year, I will likely not be doing FRC - at least, not with these teams, since I will be in grad school and won't be here.

I suppose what I want to ask, after all of that, is how one decides what a healthy amount of involvement is and how one feasibly sticks to such a limit. I do not want to repeat the mental and physical toll of my last two years of mentoring. I also do not want to stop entirely, because I love FRC and care a lot about the teams that I mentor. Presently, I feel like I have no idea how to actually reduce my involvement. I show up to meetings, I see things that look like they won't be done if I do not invest myself in them, and I feel obligated to do so. I can't be the only one who struggles with this, and hopefully some other mentors who have dealt with similar issues can weigh in.

I feel reasonably certain that if I do not do something, the trend will continue and I'll burn out even earlier this year.

Any and all advice is welcome.

[snoman]

I know it can be rough. Many mentors / coaches and students put in hundreds of hours in 6 weeks. How many other adults are helping you? Why two teams? It would be hard to see a team fail by stepping back but it may be necessary. Is the team part of a school district? Can you find others to lessen the load? You shouldn't need to get too burned out on something you enjoy. This can be something you want to do for many years to come.
Best of luck..
Maybe there needs to be a mentor support group

[AustinSchuh]

My strategy while I was in college was to limit the time I spent at robotics. I would come help the team Friday and Saturday, and then go home and get ready for the next school week on Sunday. It was easy to maintain the separation since the team was an hour away where I grew up, and I would stay over night.

My current strategy on 971 is to try to find enough mentors so we can still have a lot of fun and do really cool stuff, but not work as hard while doing it. I also try to make sure that new mentors know that they don't have to be the ones to own solving all the problems. We have a team for that, and if all they can do is put in a couple hours here and there, that is still very helpful. We've been keeping a lot of our mentors, and (fingers crossed), hopefully we can continue that.

Hopefully that starts you thinking. I wish you luck!

[Jon Stratis]

One of the biggest problems we all having is caring about these teams and robots too much. It makes it really hard to step back at times. The biggest thing I think you need to remember, throughout the season, is that it's the students team and the students robot. Help them, push them, but if something isn't going to get done it's not your responsibility to do it. Tell them, push them during the meetings, and then go home and get some sleep.

For me, I show up for the team meetings, and that's it. I don't stick around to keep working after they leave, I don't come in at other times to do stuff if it didn't get done. During the season, I keep a very strict bed time (much, much more strict than out of season).

Just remind yourself every day - for the kids to benefit from your experience and knowledge, you have to stay healthy!

[DaveL]

In addition to the great comments already posted, you might consider a different role.
Some ideas to keep you involved but to reduce your responsibility and increase your fun:
- Be more of a resource for your teams,
- Be a senior mentor to review what the various teams are working on,
- Be a design mentor and have Skype online meetings,
- Focus on helping the team build initial prototypes and let the team take it from there.
(If you can, pick only one of these options)

A big part of FRC mentor stress can come from not wanting to feel like you are letting your team down. One way to avoid this is to be more like a consultant. You provide options with examples from your experience and then let the team decide. Now you are off the hook. The team made their decision and they have to make it work.

Mentoring on every team is different, so its hard to know how to help.
My approach is to do more in the summer and the fall, so the build session goes smoother.
Working with experienced students verses rookie students also has its differences.
For experienced students, you can be more of a consultant. For the rookies you may spend more time on safety, proper tool use and basic assembly operations. If you decide to pull back, have your experienced students help with the rookies. Or train up parents to fill in.

Whatever you decide, I recommend you clearly communicate your intent to your team, so they can step up or find others to help.

Dave

[Al Skierkiewicz]

Eli,
I can't help be the parent here for just a minute...
School is more important at this point than almost everything else, FRC included. Get it done first!
That being said, nothing I have come across prepares one for life better than an FRC build season when taken within limits. I am constantly surprised by my rapid movement to problem resolution in my day job simply due to FIRST experiences. You somehow get to the point that you filter out all the background noise and get right to the direction you need to take.
However, one thing that FIRST has taught us, is prioritizing. Do what needs to get done first and then move on to the lower priorities.
I know it is hard to say 'NO' to students. I have struggled with that for 20+ years as a mentor and before that as scout leader. But to be an effective leader, you have to like what you are doing and you have to feel comfortable with the commitment. I have always told myself that as soon as I was no longer giving a good experience to my students, it was time to retire. I hope and pray I will recognize that when it comes.
Whenever you are thinking about getting your degree and you will have many moments in the future, remember we (the other adults here) are right behind you. We will pat you on the back or whack the back of your head, whatever is needed.

[Rosiebotboss]

Yeah, what Al said.

I have been mentoring my own team entering it's 15th season. I have been a FIRST Senior Mentor for going on 4 years. I ALWAYS tell graduating high schoolers to concentrate on your college education FIRST! I do not even allow my former Rosie students to come back until after they have that degree. (socially, yes, as a mentor, no)

If you want to still stay involved in some manner, volunteer at an event. Be a robot inspector, be a field reset, pick a role and fill it at an event. It's a great way to be involved without a lot of time commitment.

[protoserge]

You can try taking next season as a volunteer role instead of going cold turkey. I don't know where you are going to grad school, but I'm sure there is a way to work out a great volunteer role in that area. You'll still get to see FRC and it is a lot less stressful and just as important for the competition.

I think you know what you have to do since summed it up by stating that taking courses again with your mentoring would have "killed you".

As mentors, we care a lot about our teams. It is OK and healthy to admit you cannot handle the stress anymore. In fact, I think it is a very acceptable thing to do. We are all volunteers, after all. I know I am in a similar position and may take some time off after this season due to many upcoming life changes.

The best advice I can provide is that you need to take care of yourself first, but don't forget the responsibility of setting in place a plan for someone to take over your responsibilities. I am sure the other mentors will provide plenty of help in this area.

[techhelpbb]

Between my jobs and FIRST I have crossed the burnout mark more than I can count. It is not unusual for me to pull a 90-100 hour week and that can happen easily even without FIRST.

A couple of things:

1. There are many ways to help people without locking yourself into a deadline FIRST openly admits is always too short for a job too big.
2. In the end you are contributing to the schools skills and opportunities they ought to have solved for themselves with all those fantastic property taxes which basically get funneled to them.
3. Harming yourself robs FIRST in the end because this project takes every sort of resource you can offer: time, money and good will. What you do not have today you may have tomorrow.

I walked away with an associates degree from college. Now I make way more money than I want to talk about and little of it is in my degree scope. The priority is to balance your needs and those of the people you help.

This may mean you find and train other people to help you mentor these teams to free you up to finish school or increase your earnings to protect your well being with the goal of giving back more later.

Whatever you choose to do it should not be about 'what can you do for me today' it should be about 'what did you do for me when I needed it'. FIRST is bottomless the more we do the more there is to be done. That said FIRST is not unique in being bottomless it is just the lot we all threw in with. A good cause but please find balance.

[wireties]

Echoing other posters - school is more important than FRC! You'll be a great mentor AFTER finishing your degree programs.

Its all about math. How many hours are you in class? How many hours do you need to study? How much sleep does it take you to be productive during the day? Do you have family that needs some time from you? Learn to say NO! Before making any commitment, do the math. Are there enough hours in a day? in the week? in the semester? After agreeing to play a role that shouldn't burn you out sit down every Sunday night and plan the week, hour by hour, and stick to the plan.

Good luck!

[philso]

Again, focus on your education. You are setting a good example by doing so.

As Tim suggested, working as a volunteer at a tournament or two is a good way to limit your time commitment. Do factor in that you may have to allow some time for training beforehand, depending on the role.

If you have a lot of experience in a particular area, you can lead workshops in that area to help rookie teams and others that need the help.

You can also attend Kickoff with a team and help them brainstorm in the week after. Afterward, you can help them evaluate some of their solutions. This can be done with short visits, through Skype or by them sending you CAD screenshots.

[Michael Corsetto]

Originally Posted by Oblarg

I suppose what I want to ask, after all of that, is how one decides what a healthy amount of involvement is and how one feasibly sticks to such a limit.

To your first point, "how one decides what a healthy amount of involvement is"

Self-reflection and advice from outside yourself. Seems like you are doing both of these just in this thread. I'd recommend talking to older adults in your life, maybe even lead mentors on the teams you are working with, to identify how your involvement can be adjusted to maintain a more balanced life.

To your second point, "how one feasibly sticks to such a limit"

Accountability. You need people around you to support you in the decisions you've made to lead a more balanced life. Friends in college, family, significant other, fellow mentors, etc are all candidates for people in your life who can fill this role.

Hope this helps, best of luck.

-Mike

[Seth Mallory]

On GRT we have done a number of things to help with burnout.
1) Train the students in the fall so they need little instruction and guidance. This cuts down on mental stress.

2) Cut back on shop hours. Over the years we have cut back 22 scheduled hours a week. At one point the team woke about 2 hours more a night then was scheduled. We now take Friday nights off. The same amount work gets done since the students have to plan for less time.

3) Have breaks for games and things. I would love to have our school Jazz band play for us one night.

4) Naps!! Since I get up at 3 AM for my other job and I get senior discounts I try to nap when I can. I track my sleep hours and if the hours get below 5 hours a day for 2 days I have to cut back.

[waialua359]

Mentor burnout on our team has happened for 2 main reasons:
1. We spent way too much time at the end of build season, even though we were at the point of diminishing returns (because everyone is so tired).
2. Working every day of build season.

In recent years, we have taken several days off to rest. We have also treated our seasons as if it was the "5 week build season." This forced our team to spend a lot more time/effort in the beginning and treat the last week as a more relaxed, but focused effort without being as tired.

Of course, it doesnt always work out because the design doesnt........but at least we try.

Overall, we try to be over-prepared prior to the build season so that we dont have to waste time doing non-robot building tasks in addition to the the crazy amount of things that have to happen.
We have a 3 week winter break this year just prior to build season, and have spent time preparing.
I always order more parts than I need, have the students clean every inch of all of our Robotics workspace, update all of our computers, pre-make website pages documenting our build season, and booking/planning our trips down to a written agenda just to name a few.

[MrForbes]

I'm lucky, I don't have to work, my wife supports me...and I'm not in school...and I still get burned out near the end of the FRC season.

I don't know how you guys do it.