april fools

[Joe Matt]

We have some special guests in the audience tonight.

Will DJ Fluck please stand up and wave hello. Let us all welcome DJ. Ready Go..Hello DJ Fluck. DJ has won a gold medal in curling in the Winter Olympics of 1998. Let us all congratulate DJ. Ready go..Congratulations, DJ, on winning the gold.


Brandon Martus is in the audience tonight. Brandon, Please stand up and wave hello. Brandon Martus has figured out the secret to cold fusion. Let's all thank Brandon for figuring out cold fusion. Ready Go...Thanks, Brandon, for figuring out cold fusion.

Clark Gilbert is here tonight. Let's all say hello to Clark. Ready go...Hello Clark. Clark is just an average guy of no particular distinction, which is all the more reason to give him some group attention. In fact, let's all tell Clark that we love him. Ready Go...We love you Clark. Please stand up Clark so we know which way to direct our love.

Is Joseph Matt here yet? Let's all ask for him. Ready go...Joseph, are you here? Joseph, you are a little late on your credit card payments. Just a reminder, Joseph.

All please yell now! LOUDER!....Now yell like a cowboy!......Now make that sound like they used to make on the Arsenio Hall show....That's enough of that.

We have a birthday in the audience this evening. Will 'Big Mike' please stand up. Let's all speak Happy Birthday to Mike. No singing please. Just speak it. Ready go....Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Mike. Happy Birthday to you.


We understand that audience member David Kelley has a headache. Let's all tell David we are sorry about her headace. Ready go...Sorry about your headache David... All this shouting probably doesn't help... Let's all lead David in a the following healing meditation. Ready Go...David, Close your eyes. Imagine your headache as a Big Cow. Picture your headache-cow sitting on the field. Just grazing. Concentrate David Now......KILL THE COW!.....Chop your headache-cow into several cuts of beef and distribute them to stores throughout Texas. There, that should help you feel better.


~Taken from Blue Man Group's 'Live from Luxor' show

Just to raise a smile