Making STEM a better place for women

[Philip Arola]

Originally Posted by Libby K

I think I get what you meant with this statement, but if that 'normal flirting' makes a student on my team uncomfortable, the offending student needs to be checked up on, not approached with the attitude of 'oh well, this is life'.

If it's an issue of alienating a teammate, male or female, with creepy behavior, then the issue has to be dealt with.

You're hovering right around a 'boys will be boys' (I guess in this case, 'nerds will be nerds') mentality with this post - I hope you can clarify what you're actually trying to say.

I think you might be confusing pragmatism for fatalism. As far as I can tell, he was saying that hormonal boys will act stupidly, and that this is natural. It is the job of adults (parents, teachers, mentors) to help them overcome their impulsiveness; that an impulsive boy is not going to necessarily be bad.

Let's not forget that mentors themselves can be creepy, especially when they attempt to intervene in teenage hormone-politics. As a mentor, I am fully accepting that I am a fallible being who can misread a situation. I have seen multiple mentors completely misjudge the speech and intent of students, and thus (publically) embarrass students, therefore creating the alienation themselves. Mentors should try to talk to the victim and gauge the situation appropriately before proceeding.

If there is any doubt on how to proceed, I would defer to parental involvement. Not only is it legally safer, parents generally know their kids better than coaches (and have a captive audience, I suppose).

Originally Posted by PayneTrain

It is really really s****y that I have to go to female student members on my team and walk them through best practices for dealing with unsolicited actions and unacceptable behavior from other people at competitions... but what am I supposed to do? Telling them and their parents "kids will be kids" and "boys will be boys" is an unacceptable response.

Team members sign a code of conduct and are reminded repeatedly throughout the season pretty bluntly to not be a creep or a jerk lest they be disappeared from the team if remedial action proves fruitless. FIRST and STEM does need a culture change to fix this really serious problem.

(Truncated quote, tried to keep it fair)
Yes, life sucks. That's been plain to me for years. As a mentor, you acknowledge that you don't want the students' life to suck. Great. I don't know if this is an uncharacteristically blunt post of yours, but it seems that you're far too unrealistic with what you want life to be like. There are lots of things that are bad that girls, indeed, all teenagers, even all people have to deal with. Even if change is what you are working towards, it is shortsighted and irresponsible to not teach them how to deal with it in the meantime.

Culture change? This statement implies that FIRST (and even more unrealistically, STEM) is monolithic. Not only is this a fundamental untruth at a team level, but on a geographic level. This is a cop-out, a meaningless phrase.