Making STEM a better place for women

[Munchskull]

Originally Posted by rtfgnow

For example, some people like giving and getting hugs. As a student I was not a fan of physical contact, people have told me that my personal bubble was armed with machine guns. I have since loosened up and am more comfortable with people I know but I still would not hug a stranger. When there is an interaction between someone that is fine with hugging new people and the kind of person I was in high school, there is friction. The important thing to remember is that both people are in the right. They are allowed to be comfortable with their own actions and they have the responsibility to respect the other's preferences.

At the risk of getting pulled in into the thick of this conversation I would like to comment about the above post. As some one who is a hugger there can be friction with new friends who do not appreciate hugs. Recently I have taken to giving my friends a quick "bro tap" after an emotionally charged match, awards presentation, ect. If they are receptive great, if not I remember and don'the do it again. Works pretty well, have not had issues.

However when it comes to female friends I am not as quick to give them a hug. I (as a male student) work to be aware of how my actions are perceived by my friend so that an awkward/uncomfortable situation is not created. Is easy to forget that a simple platonic gesture can be miss read when intended for the opposite gender*. It is not to say that I will not give my female friends hug, I just err on the side of caution and make sure that it is a mutual thing.

I am not sure how exactly this pertains to the discussion over all, but I feel that it fits some where. The intend message being that it is OK (and even encouraged) that male and female students intreact, it is up to both parties to recognize boundaries of the other party. And if either party is uncomfortable they should by all means speak up and if necessary get a mentor.