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  #106   Spotlight this post!  
Unread 13-04-2016, 22:17
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

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Originally Posted by JesseK View Post
Because it's irrelevant to my point. The point is, if someone feels harassed then you're harassing them.
No. Just because you feel something is true does not make it so. Particularly with a charge of harassment, which is a something that has legislation governing it. You can feel uncomfortable, and ask them to stop. If they persist, this is harassment.

Edit: Apparently someone neglected to read my previous post where I defined harassment as targeted and repeated. They applied negative rep to this post, and commented that harassment can be applied to a single incident. What they neglected to address, intentionally or not, is that I covered that when I said targeted. Targeted means someone specifically targets you.

Last edited by Philip Arola : 13-04-2016 at 22:49. Reason: Read my previous post
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Unread 13-04-2016, 22:51
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

I feel like I'm running the risk of touching the third rail getting into this but...

Harassment has two definitions, (a third sometimes if a school is involved), the dictionary and legal definition. A quick google search:

Dictionary (From Google search page):
Quote:
aggressive pressure or intimidation.
Legal:
Quote:
the act of systematic and/or continued unwanted and annoying actions of one party or a group, including threats and demands.
Perhaps this will help you both see each other's arguments from the other's perspective.
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Unread 13-04-2016, 22:56
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdaroz View Post
I feel like I'm running the risk of touching the third rail getting into this but...

Harassment has two definitions, (a third sometimes if a school is involved), the dictionary and legal definition. A quick google search:

Dictionary (From Google search page):

Legal:

Perhaps this will help you both see each other's arguments from the other's perspective.
The other poster (and the person who neg rep'ed me) don't seem to be using the definition of violence/intimidation, they seem to be talking about any act that makes someone uncomfortable.
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Unread 13-04-2016, 23:02
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdaroz View Post
I feel like I'm running the risk of touching the third rail getting into this but...

Harassment has two definitions, (a third sometimes if a school is involved), the dictionary and legal definition. A quick google search:

Dictionary (From Google search page):

Legal:

Perhaps this will help you both see each other's arguments from the other's perspective.
Considering the fact that people are having a difficult time coming to an understanding on what exactly is harassment, I think the most fair (and probably most impractical) would be to have this taken care of in court. Of course the case should be treated as most other criminal law, where the presumption of innocence is maintained, and where it is the responsibility of the accuser to prove that the defendant is guilty.
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Unread 14-04-2016, 00:06
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

I am a female student, and I can definitely say that my FRC team has boosted my confidence, communication, and passion for engineering. We primarily have male mentors, and only one third of our team identifies as female, but I have rarely felt ignored or belittled. In fact, this team is the reason why I am pursuing a major in Biomedical Engineering this fall. However, it appears that female students on other teams have faced issues, ones we will face in the STEM workforce. And we do not only face sexual harassment, but also disrespect and being disregarded as less capable.

I recommend discussing the issue head-on with the team during preseason. I remember watching the Verizon advertisement about girls in STEM during a meeting, and the brief discussion we had afterwards. The mentors may not have realized it, but it had a profound impact, and showed me that I would be supported on the team, and I wasn't wrong. I also realized that many male students did not understand that females are discouraged from entering STEM, namely engineering. If every FRC student knew about this issue, we could tackle it more effectively now, and in the future.
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Unread 14-04-2016, 00:49
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

Honestly as a team member for Team 2403 Plasma Robotics, our basis of female students have grown along with our male counterparts through all of the outreach and team bonding sessions. With all of this it has allowed us to figure ourselves out better before we make any rash decisions during the rest of the season. Seeing this in action, I see that sometimes we all get awkward or creeped out about someone or something, but that should not deter anyone away from STEM in any way.

I know that much of the women in STEM is weak, but I believe it is growing and it will continue for equality over time. Gender inequality is a shaky topic with some people but we just need to be positive and supportive towards all members, and not bias towards one side or the other. If someone wants to become an engineer, male or female, we need to allow that because in the end that is what they strive for in life!

I keep positive about all of the gender equality progressing and it will continue to get better and better!
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Unread 14-04-2016, 01:15
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Philip Arola View Post
No. Just because you feel something is true does not make it so. Particularly with a charge of harassment, which is a something that has legislation governing it. You can feel uncomfortable, and ask them to stop. If they persist, this is harassment.
This is so (seemingly) curmudgeonly nit-picky about what something is or isn't, and yet we aren't trying to prosecute students but rather trying to teach them how to act in ways that do not completely offend someone. After some thought I remembered a particular conversation I had with a student a few years ago. There is a more relate-able definition that provides better evidence for why I believe the strict legal definition doesn't matter in most cases.

Take the HR definition of harassment. Depending on the level of innuendo the first offense can easily be a fireable one. Why? Depending on how the person on the receiving end feels it could become a hostile work environment.

The point you seemed to have missed from what Katie and Amanda were saying is that this "first offense" may be the first for the individual guy for a particular girl, but it is not the first for the girl over the course of the competition or career. Thus, in the context of a workplace (which our FRC programs should be) it is harassment since it is a hostile work environment if the girl on the receiving in feels that way.
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  #113   Spotlight this post!  
Unread 14-04-2016, 02:23
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

Quote:
Originally Posted by JesseK View Post
This is so (seemingly) curmudgeonly nit-picky about what something is or isn't, and yet we aren't trying to prosecute students but rather trying to teach them how to act in ways that do not completely offend someone. After some thought I remembered a particular conversation I had with a student a few years ago. There is a more relate-able definition that provides better evidence for why I believe the strict legal definition doesn't matter in most cases.

Take the HR definition of harassment. Depending on the level of innuendo the first offense can easily be a fireable one. Why? Depending on how the person on the receiving end feels it could become a hostile work environment.

The point you seemed to have missed from what Katie and Amanda were saying is that this "first offense" may be the first for the individual guy for a particular girl, but it is not the first for the girl over the course of the competition or career. Thus, in the context of a workplace (which our FRC programs should be) it is harassment since it is a hostile work environment if the girl on the receiving in feels that way.
I want to use the term harassment appropriately, and not reduce its meaning by using it indiscriminately.
This "HR definition" you speak of is, ironically for you, the literal embodiment of the curmudgeonly legal definition. The reason a single offense could be firable is if it is targeted harassment. You want to wholly redefine harassment by making it be the sum of what one person experiences, not what one person does. Not even this "HR definition" encapsulates the idea that you have.
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Unread 14-04-2016, 10:11
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

This thread is a nightmare of face-saving and overreacting, especially the statement about avoiding women altogether for legal protection (mentally diusturbed mindset).

Summary of good take-aways:

1. Don't hawk your female students, trying to protect them. Keep an equally watchful eye over all team members.

2. LBGT issues should handled according to state law, as mentioned. No exceptions.

3. If a student reports feeling uncomfortable, address it appropriately. Publicly embarrassing offenders for the sake of a "lesson" is not appropriate.

4. If a student makes another student uncomfortable, address it appropriately ("fool-me-twice" policy works well, one warning and one warning only before serious action is taken)

5. It's relatively easy to spot the difference between consensual flirting and creeping. If you can't, consult another mentor before asking a student if they felt threatened.

6. Inter-team relationships will occur but should not be blatant.

7. Students look out for one-another, don't underestimate the power of simply staying in groups.

Last edited by Sean Raia : 14-04-2016 at 10:25. Reason: Grammar n stuff
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Unread 14-04-2016, 10:38
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

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Originally Posted by JesseK View Post
If someone feels creeped out or harassed by you, say you are sorry leave them alone. That's all there is to it.
While I'm sure you didn't intend it this way, you're requiring the creeper in this instance to be able to read minds.

I would say it's uncommon that the creeper is deliberately attempting to cause discomfort. So it is required by the person feeling harassed to actually make it clear and unambiguous that they don't want that behavior to continue.

It's not fair to say "it should be obvious" because if it is happening, it is probably not obvious to the person causing offense.
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Unread 14-04-2016, 11:47
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

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Originally Posted by DareDad View Post
While I'm sure you didn't intend it this way, you're requiring the creeper in this instance to be able to read minds.

I would say it's uncommon that the creeper is deliberately attempting to cause discomfort. So it is required by the person feeling harassed to actually make it clear and unambiguous that they don't want that behavior to continue.

It's not fair to say "it should be obvious" because if it is happening, it is probably not obvious to the person causing offense.
You're right, and I agree, it has to hit that point for the 'aggressor' to understand in any given random off-the-street scenario. The point I was trying to make there is that the 'line' between 'awkward flirting' and 'harassment' is completely about how the person on the receiving end feels, and that person doesn't need to care about the anecdotes from the other side. That the "law" (with quotes because it varies and is imperfect) states a definition does not mean (IMO) it is an acceptable edict to live by, therefore shouldn't even have come up in this conversation.

There is no definition for the circumstances surrounding 'girl who feels harassed by an entire group of peers because she is constantly hit on one at a time by each individual'. The only definitions which come close are patterns of misogyny, sexism and discrimination. For those particular definitions, all but the extreme cases seem to be 'acceptable' behavior by teenage boys and a few people in this thread.

To me, it should be obvious to an 'aggressor' when they've been forewarned to act professionally in an environment. Whether or not someone was listening or chose to forget shouldn't excuse the individual. FIRST constantly puts out "Gracious Professionalism" and the ensuing words of wisdom, yet IMO it is on the team to teach the kids how to act professionally (I've read this paraphrased sentence so many time on CD...). This thread has repeatedly provided anecdotes which show that the definition of what's acceptable in a professional environment varies greatly from team to team.

I think I'll leave this thread for a bit with some final words. In a professional environment unsolicited flirting is unacceptable, and we should expect the best from our students in this regard. Flirting that 'comes up' between two people who are already acquainted is sometimes inevitable, and is not the scenario anyone is trying to imply when the word 'harassment' comes up.
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Unread 14-04-2016, 13:16
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

Quote:
Originally Posted by JesseK View Post
You're right, and I agree, it has to hit that point for the 'aggressor' to understand in any given random off-the-street scenario. The point I was trying to make there is that the 'line' between 'awkward flirting' and 'harassment' is completely about how the person on the receiving end feels, and that person doesn't need to care about the anecdotes from the other side. That the "law" (with quotes because it varies and is imperfect) states a definition does not mean (IMO) it is an acceptable edict to live by, therefore shouldn't even have come up in this conversation.

There is no definition for the circumstances surrounding 'girl who feels harassed by an entire group of peers because she is constantly hit on one at a time by each individual'. The only definitions which come close are patterns of misogyny, sexism and discrimination. For those particular definitions, all but the extreme cases seem to be 'acceptable' behavior by teenage boys and a few people in this thread.

To me, it should be obvious to an 'aggressor' when they've been forewarned to act professionally in an environment. Whether or not someone was listening or chose to forget shouldn't excuse the individual. FIRST constantly puts out "Gracious Professionalism" and the ensuing words of wisdom, yet IMO it is on the team to teach the kids how to act professionally (I've read this paraphrased sentence so many time on CD...). This thread has repeatedly provided anecdotes which show that the definition of what's acceptable in a professional environment varies greatly from team to team.

I think I'll leave this thread for a bit with some final words. In a professional environment unsolicited flirting is unacceptable, and we should expect the best from our students in this regard. Flirting that 'comes up' between two people who are already acquainted is sometimes inevitable, and is not the scenario anyone is trying to imply when the word 'harassment' comes up.
This thread has become totally circular, and I have had to explain this exact point countless times.
Continuing to make someone uncomfortable is unacceptable.
No one disagrees with your point, at least not here. You seem to have read my posts in response to the most radical positions expressed, and thought that I was in opposition to the original point.
Here, you seem to address this:
Quote:
Flirting that 'comes up' between two people who are already acquainted is sometimes inevitable, and is not the scenario anyone is trying to imply when the word 'harassment' comes up.
...but fall short. That may not be what YOU said, but do not pretend that no one here failed to make the distinction.
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Unread 14-04-2016, 14:36
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

It's pretty sad that a thread about "Making STEM a better place for women" has degenerated into some young men repeatedly shouting their own opinion at everyone in an effort to defend their privilege.

I'm out. Shame on me for expecting some nuanced discussion on a very important topic on these forums. Thanks to everyone who tried to make this discussion productive; your efforts are appreciated and noticed.
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  #119   Spotlight this post!  
Unread 14-04-2016, 15:25
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

The contents of this thread thus far have been extremely appalling. This thread started off being about how to make women more comfortable in STEM, and this thread is now just some individuals justifying their harassment and "creepy" behavior at competitions, social media, and beyond.

Let me tell you why this thread is important. Let me tell you girls out there who are too scared to say anything why it is important to say something about a man harassing you.

I've been involved in FRC for 6 years and have been recognizable within my generation of FIRST-ers for about the same time.
With this a lot of random people walk up to you at competition and want to talk to you.

I have had so many cases where people came in with intentions that were not just "making friends" and proceeded to make me feel uncomfortable.
At every event I went to my junior year I had this student on another team who kept harassing me for my number after I repeatably told the individual no. This individual continued to harass me for another year, every competition getting more and more physical, everyone I told kept saying "boys will be boys" and "he likes you."
That was NOT okay and should NOT be taken lightly.
Why is it that this society justifies harassment ?

Now that I'm a mentor I still face harassment everyday at competitions and on social media from random people adding me and wanting to get something out of me.
I’ve had 40 year old volunteers harass me at competition all the way down to freshman boys.
I’ve had people in the community send me sexual pictures that were not asked for.

And this is what I want all the young women reading this to know if something similar has happened to you.
TELL SOMEONE. I wish I did much sooner. The only way to change a culture is to do something about it. It’s to have society realize harassment happens a lot.
If you do not feel comfortable talking to your mentor about it, my inbox is always open for a chat.

As a culture, women are rare to be found in STEM, and it doesn’t help that when we pursue our passion we constantly have to deal with men harassing us.

This is not okay.
This needs to be changed.
This thread should of been the start.
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  #120   Spotlight this post!  
Unread 14-04-2016, 15:40
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karthik View Post
It's pretty sad that a thread about "Making STEM a better place for women" has degenerated into some young men repeatedly shouting their own opinion at everyone in an effort to defend their privilege.

I'm out. Shame on me for expecting some nuanced discussion on a very important topic on these forums. Thanks to everyone who tried to make this discussion productive; your efforts are appreciated and noticed.
Some of the people who have posted here have some major growing up to do. I hate making that statement, but I feel like having friends or loved ones who deal with this kind of crap on a daily basis is one of the only ways someone will really understand what harassment can mean and what it does to someone.

My only other additions to my original post: 1) if you are treated in a way you don't like, PLEASE tell someone, keep telling someone until action is taken. 2) mentors and parents-talk to your kids about what professionalism on a team means.
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