Making STEM a better place for women

[JaneYoung]

There is still room for a productive discussion here. Actually, this thread has created an opportunity for several discussions:

- mentors roles as role models
- mentors limitations when dealing with team dynamics
- cultivating a welcoming, safe, and productive environment for everyone
- continuing to keep diversity in focus and at the forefront of STEM goals and initiatives
- never giving in or giving up on an opportunity to help the community grow and develop
- taking a good look at our actions and words and how they impact

I like this thread. It has gotten bogged down but, nothing that can't be fixed.

Jane

[IlluminEllen]

It is time we drop our opinions, nit-picky definitions, and personal experiences which distract from the problem that is at hand: Women often don't feel comfortable/safe within STEM. If you are not a women in STEM, your opinion on the environment of STEM for women is secondhand. What you think is comfortable/uncomfortable is not relevant to those who are affected. The point of this post is to help better STEM's environment for women. So, I think it's time to refocus on discussing specific solutions.

As I see it, the best place to start culture change is individuals getting actively involved. If you see something that looks uncomfortable, intervene. If someone comes to you and tells you they are uncomfortable or being harassed, intervene. If you aren't sure, intervene. You don't have to make every situation into a serial creep and a terrified victim. Simply point out that the situation looks uncomfortable and help figure out where that discomfort is coming from.

Sometimes all that is necessary is the discomfort to be called out. If this attention doesn't resolve the situation, then you can have a conversation. If the conversation doesn't work, then maybe you need to create a consequence.

Awkward flirting may not be harassment, but it is still uncomfortable, and this discomfort is what the problem is. These instances of discomfort discourage females from wanting to continue to be in STEM. We NEED to call attention these situations to make any progress. No two situations are going to be the same so no two solutions are going to be the same. There is no step by step guide on how to help. If there was, this thread wouldn't exist. Start by doing what you feel is right and intervene when you feel it is necessary. This means intervening even when it seems awkward and uncomfortable for you to do so. The more you do it, and the more comfortable you will become. The more comfortable you become, the better of a position you will be in to fight for this culture change at a higher level.

In conclusion, one of the many solutions to this problem is you. It is every one of you that cared enough to open this thread and read to this point. In order to solve this problem we all need to get out there, start intervening, and become the change we desire.

[TheMilkman01]

Originally Posted by IlluminEllen

What you think is comfortable/uncomfortable is not relevant to those who are affected.

This. If someone complains that the drive train isn't working, do you ignore them and continue believing there’s nothing wrong with it? No, you address it, test it, and if there is a problem you do your best to fix it. The same is applicable in this situation when a student complains about sexual harassment. The first step in solving a problem is recognizing there is one, as with anything. But don’t go about it like you’re investigating for sexual harassment, for Pete's sakes. Thankfully, most kids and adults in FIRST are above intentionally hurting others. But physically or verbally making another student uncomfortable in any way should not be tolerated after the issue has been brought up. At that point, it becomes an interpersonal problem, one in which has a high potentiality to inflate and blow up. I've seen this happen, where a situation escalates when it could be solved over a cup of coffee and common sense. So please, address it. Don’t ignore it based on your or someone else’s nit-picky definition or technicalities. FIRST is technical, maintaining strong, positive relations is not.

[Andy Grady]

From a mentor standpoint, I see this as pretty black and white.

I was once socially awkward as a student (I still might be?), it is NEVER an excuse for harassment. It is, quite simply, a matter of showing respect. Period. End of story.

If a student (or young mentor even), male, female, LGBT or otherwise is being made to feel uncomfortable by anyone, they should feel comfortable enough to mention something to a mentor and allow the mentor to handle the situation for them. The definition of uncomfortable, creepy, etc, is very simple...if you FEEL uncomfortable, you are!

It the job of the mentors to provide an environment for our students in which they feel safe and comfortable to come to us when they need any sort of guidance or help.

In terms of mentoring and making STEM a better place for women, this is also a matter of RESPECT. To the mentors: show all students and mentors, regardless of gender, race, religion, etc..., the same amount of respect. Expect the same respect to be given from your students to your other students and mentors.

It might behoove some of you to take note of some of the community members who have expressed some strong concerns over this thread. People like Amanda, Madison, and Karthik are people who have pioneered this program. They do not just speak from a perspective of someone who has jumped into FIRST out of nowhere...they have lived it, they are a product of it, and they have carried FIRST FOR A VERY LONG TIME into what it is today. They each understand the importance of respect, and they each understand what it is like to be on both sides of the spectrum.

In short...if you want to change the culture, be the culture, and heed the word of those who have been changing the culture longer than you can remember.

[jweston]

I have a small suggestion to consider, although it has nothing directly to do harassment. It has more to do with empowering people...

Whenever you feel compelled to say, "Let me help you with that" or "Let <insert name> help you with that" instead ask "Would you like some help with that?" It might seem like there is no difference but it's actually huge. The former is a command. The latter is an inquiry. With the former, the helpee has to risk confrontation by rejecting the help. The second allows for a polite decline. I've found that the command form of help happens a lot more if the helpee is younger than the helper or is female (extra likely if the helpee is both).

If your offer of help is declined, please do not try persuade or force your help. If your offer of help is accepted, that is not permission to the helper take over the task. It is up to the helper to take their cue from the helpee in how they can be of assistance.

There's a time and place for commands. Commands are great if someone is doing something dangerous or for a delegated team tasks coming from your team organization. Offering help should not come as a command.

The way we talk to each other matters. It affects the patterns we fall into. If you want to make a change, this is a place to start.

[erin623]

This is super important because personally, robotics can be one of those places where you constantly hear sexist jokes and sometimes don't have other girls to back you up. I've also had a problem with guys poking me or standing way too close to the point where they are physically touching and/or trapping me. It looks like I'm going to be president of the club next year, though, so I plan to talk to the girls about how they can go to any of the older girls/mentors for help if someone is doing this to them. I'm also thinking about talking to the guys, but seeing that I'll only be a junior next year I'm not too sure if they'll listen to me.

[Trying to Help]

I didn't read all the pages in this discussion but maybe my two cents might help.

Erin, robotics shouldn't be the place where you hear sexist jokes all the time. I think we can all remember the one late night when a student says something like "I have a stripper for each hand!" but the number of times that's happened in my nine years of being involved with a team are less than 5. I can only remember two or three but I'll allow that I've forgotten a couple. The point is, it should be so rare that it is something you remember as an anomaly.

If someone went up to another adult and said "Would it be OK to make sexist remarks to you?", you can bet the answer would be NO. (Excluding edge cases, OK?) People should understand that by doing something, they're effectively asking if it's permissible. Your mentors need to get across to all the students that one, it's important to say No and two, no one should be making other students uncomfortable.

Club or team rules should make this clear. And there should be clearly delineated consequences for failing to follow the rules.

I'm glad that I found this thread. I think it's going to be important to reiterate to our students all those rules. And then when we bring in new students, go over them again. When mentors and students are running on five or six hours of sleep for days during a competition, it might be easy to let some details slide. And the details around what's permissible can't be the ones that get dropped.

Brighid