Hugs vs hand shakes at opening ceremony

[Andy Baker]

Originally Posted by Michael Corsetto

The way Dean, Woodie and Don greeted the 2016 Dean's List Finalists irked my wife and I as well.

I'm not usually vocal around these topics, but when you greet 20 young professionals in a row, I believe a handshake is the baseline, acceptable way to convey appreciation and recognition.

That said, some students may have an overwhelming sense of jubilation, which prompts them to initiate some sort of less-than-professional (but still authentic) expression such as a hug. That is great!

The issue was, women got the default arms out for a hug from Dean, while men got the hand stretched out for a shake.

Also, as a YPP trained professional, I work to avoid "frontal hugging", especially with young women, and especially with young women I do not know. I would certainly not be the one to intiate the hug in front of many other mentors and students.

This is not your uncle hugging their niece. These are professionals congratulating young professionals on their accomplishments. It should be treated as such, and serve as a model to all the mentors and students watching the ceremony.

-Mike

Well said, Mike. I noticed it too, as did some other mentors I was discussing this with. This hugging of the Dean's list girls and shaking hands with the boys was very uncomfortable.

For me, if I greet a boy or man, it's not too hard to know if we are gonna hug or not. I am very comfortable hugging a man, especially if he is my friend.

If the other person is a boy, girl, or woman, I wait to take their cue if the greeting will be a hug or not. It depends on the situation and relationship. I definitely should not expect or initiate a hug when greeting a female colleague.

I agree that this is not a trivial issue.

Andy B.

[Mastonevich]

I noticed that female = hugs, male = handshake, and apparently many others did also. It didn't appear to be based on body language as many have indicated on this thread. From my viewpoint it gave me an uncomfortable feeling.

[waialua359]

Originally Posted by Andy Baker

Well said, Mike. I noticed it too, as did some other mentors I was discussing this with. This hugging of the Dean's list girls and shaking hands with the boys was very uncomfortable.

For me, if I greet a boy or man, it's not too hard to know if we are gonna hug or not. I am very comfortable hugging a man, especially if he is my friend.

If the other person is a boy, girl, or woman, I wait to take their cue if the greeting will be a hug or not. It depends on the situation and relationship. I definitely should not expect or initiate a hug when greeting a female colleague.

I agree that this is not a trivial issue.

Andy B.

Not trivial indeed!
I never noticed anything with regard to the handshake vs. hugs.
Maybe its more of a cultural thing?
In Hawaii, people show "aloha" and hug each other all the time.....at work, at events, professionals vs. professionals, etc.
To each its own I guess, cant please everyone.

Sorry for being ignorant on the topic, as I grew up on a tiny little island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

[Billfred]

Originally Posted by waialua359

Not trivial indeed!
I never noticed anything with regard to the handshake vs. hugs.
Maybe its more of a cultural thing?
In Hawaii, people show "aloha" and hug each other all the time.....at work, at events, professionals vs. professionals, etc.
To each its own I guess, cant please everyone.

Sorry for being ignorant on the topic, as I grew up on a tiny little island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

And if it was one of your kids that got called, they may well go for the hug first. And that's fine*! We all have blind spots, and sometimes it takes another's observation to do better by others.

*assuming the people on stage were huggers, which we are taking as a given since they totally were