Hugs vs hand shakes at opening ceremony

[hrench]

you know, there's actually more complexity here than we're talking about regarding handshakes.

You've got your two-handed handshake, your touch-the-elbow handshake, your pat-on-the-back handshake and even the 'bro hug' with handshake in between you. Which of these are appropriate between old men and young ladies?

Also with men shaking hands, it's always clear that we expect the webs of the thumbs to meet and to give a pretty good squeeze--some guys even to the point of hurting--but with women it's never clear. Don't want to hurt her, but don't want to snub her either.

I've heard women given the advice to close before the thumb-webs meet so they can squeeze the fingers of the man and not get their hand crushed. Actually a good plan sometimes. But some people are offended by this --it wouldn't be acceptable between men.

Another factor is the angle of the hand. If you've watched the Allan Pease TED talk about 'getting the upper hand" you'll realize that you show dominance/submissiveness by your hand position. You won't even realize you're doing it, but if you're trying to shake with you're hand on top, you're trying to dominate. Ref, recent hand battle between Carly Fiorina and Ted Cruz. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9WhadyyZ_E

But in some cultures if the woman offers her hand, she may be expecting to get the back of it kissed. Not doing that here.

So, yes, I'm glad that the leaders of first choose to congratulate people. However they choose, I'm glad I'm not deciding.

[Madison]

I think there are a few things here that merit discussion.

(1) Do you view the relationship between students and mentors as a professional relationship?

(2) Do you view the relationship between students and sponsors as a professional relationship?

(3) Do you believe that a hug is an appropriate gesture between two people in a professional relationship?

(4) Do you believe that FIRST's response to concern about these topics, as raised by a team member, was appropriately professional?

[KosmicKhaos]

I think FIRST should for the most part be considered and treated as a professional environment. However, I don't feel it's necessary to always treat it as such and act like it is such.

Would I go around hugging everyone instead of giving them a handshake in a professional environment? No.

In times of extreme happiness, excitement, jublance, sadness, grief, fear, or other emotional situations in a professional environment, would I hug them? Probably, if the persons body language expressed they were wanting a hug.

However, I believe the assumed intention should always be a handshake in a professional environment and you should not just assume a hug. That brings up an interesting situation though. Who is it appropriate for to indicate intentions for a hug? The mentor? The student? Award recipient? Award presentor? A female? A male?

[bkahl]

Originally Posted by AdamHeard

It was a humorous (to me at least)

Can confirm.

Very Humorous.

[PayneTrain]

Internet argument!!!

*checks bingo card*

$@#$@#$@#$@#, it's a free space.

[ATannahill]

Originally Posted by hrench

Also with men shaking hands, it's always clear that we expect the webs of the thumbs to meet and to give a pretty good squeeze--some guys even to the point of hurting--but with women it's never clear. Don't want to hurt her, but don't want to snub her either.

I want to state that extremely tight or even painful hand shakes are not professional. I have shaken hands with someone (who was a FIRST graduate) who squeezed my hand tight enough to change the orientation of my fingers. I told him to back off and his response was pretty much that was his way of shaking hands. This was off putting and I expect it would not go well in an interview environment.

[Conor Ryan]

I haven't seen any hugs at work today. That is my stance on this issue.

[PayneTrain]

Originally Posted by Conor Ryan

I haven't seen any hugs at work today. That is my stance on this issue.

do u need a hug bby

[Conor Ryan]

Originally Posted by PayneTrain

do u need a hug bby

I'm cool with an 'atta boy'. Or positive reputation points.

Edit: Thanks for all the points

[notmattlythgoe]

In my mind FRC is more akin to a sports team than a work environment.

[ATannahill]

Originally Posted by notmattlythgoe

In my mind FRC is more akin to a sports team than a work environment.

If this is going where I think it's going...I'm gonna join Akash.

Originally Posted by Akash Rastogi

[Craig Roys]

Does someone need a hug?

[PayneTrain]

Originally Posted by rtfgnow

If this is going where I think it's going...I'm gonna join Akash.

I'm just here to fill out my bingo card.

Meta humor protects be getting criticism, yay!!!

Summer CD is coming in hot and dangerous.

[Gregor]

Originally Posted by PayneTrain

Internet argument!!!

*checks bingo card*

$@#$@#$@#$@#, it's a free space.

Credits

[jweston]

I understand the dismay of seeing starkly different behavior divided along gender lines, even if it was unintended, especially when it involves personal space. I also understand that socialization and our gender biases play a huge role in our behavior.

Btw, we all have gender biases. If you think you don't, you are either an extraordinarily rare specimen or you are blind to your own (odds are very high on the later). It's ok. It's very difficult to be aware of automatic behavior and thinking. But be aware that there may be an aspect to who you are of which you are not cognizant.

As for hugging vs handshakes, I'll leave it to this which I think nails it pretty well:
http://www.mannersmentor.com/social-...reat-greetings