Guidelines for Parents

[Monochron]

Firstly, the only effective way to deal with this is to have the mentor/adult most responsible for the team talking directly to the person. My advice is directed at that person on your team.

I'm definitely still learning the best ways to deal with this (and the above responses probably come from more experience than me!) but my best advice would be to be blunt with your intentions when talking with parents like that. It sounds like you are dealing with people who are good at steam rolling a discussion. Remember that you are the one in charge of, and responsible for, the team and tell that parent what you have decided. Something along the lines of "I appreciate what you suggested, but we are going to do this instead". Be open to discussion, but after the discussion has run its course, make a decision and move on. Being quietly firm can be very powerful.

Written policies are only going to go so far. Its good to have them, but if an argument does break out, directing them to article X section Y of a handbook isn't going to get anything done. Frankly our written policies don't say anything about who makes engineering or business decisions, but as mentors we have the authority to make sure it is done in a way that the team approves of. And to do that, we sometimes have to use the firm but quiet method.

There is a chance that you may make some people very angry. You should avoid that, but you have to be willing to let it happen if it is for the good of the team.