Favorite Teacher Quotes

[Joe Matt]

Now, over my life, I've had some really BORING teachers. But this year I have the best history teacher. I have some quotes of his, and I want to see some of your best teacher quotes....

"Back in college there were keggers, but I wouldn't know about them, all I did was read the Bible and drink Diet Pepsi's."

In inquireing who has the best name at the school (BTW, his name is Mr. Condon), we say Mr. Condon, he replies: "Nah, that names stuipd. Sounds like small wather ballons." Get it?

[Elgin Clock]

No.. I don't get it..

BTW, nice 3 digit number in your signature!! lol

w00t!!

[George1902]

In high school, I was the guy who would sit in the back of the room and sleep every day. Then a physics teacher said this to me:

Mr. Wallace, I don't teach in your bedroom; please don't sleep in my classroom.

Faced with that impeccable logic, I haven't slept in any class since.

[Joe Matt]

Originally Posted by Elgin Clock

No.. I don't get it..

BTW, nice 3 digit number in your signature!! lol

w00t!!

It's a play on words. His name is Mr. Condon.

[Yan Wang]

My favorite teacher this year and most Junior's who have her is Mrs. Roselyn Teukolsky. She has been teaching Precalculus BC and AP Computer Science for a long time (26 years). She graduated from "teacher school" in South Africa. She writes the NYS Barron's review book on AP Comp Sci and you can find more of her published works on Amazon, including a fairly interesting one regarding her bridge career (she still plays) and how she married her partner.

She is witty. She thinks faster than any of us and it blows us away. What's more amazing is that she teaches so well and in such an understandable fashion that the topics become incredibly easy. When asked if she ever passed "teacher school" (she references, "In teacher school, ..." every day), she replies, "with distinction." My friends and I have a running database of quotes by her. It is well over 200 since the start of this year. Here are some of my favorites:

Yan, what you said had so many misconceptions and errors in it that it's not 'my bad', it's 'my horrible'.

Don't drop this course based on tonight's homework.

If the hairs on my arm stand up straigh tbecause your graph is so ugly, you lose an ugliness point.

I'm not yelling at you, I'm just taking care of your education.

When I was a little girl, I would line up my dolls and teach them.

... even though I shouldn't penalize you because you're a smartass.

You know I shouldn't be laughing at you.

This is not pure thought. This is showing monkeys how to jump through hoops.

Paul.. you don't have to show me over and over again that you have no soul.

I just made that up. I'm serious.

Ben: Oh my god!
Mrs. Teukolsky: Yes, my son?
[^^ That one goes in the record books... less than one second response time for witty-ness]

The algebra will grown hair on your chest.

I laugh at my students all the time. I'm not supposed to but I can't hold it in.

I got a little senile on this.

I read your mind from here.

A question like that tells you that all the little deers are already damaged...

What is the blurfth term? [blurf is her universal variable]

Maybe this is where it's at.

I never give you a quiz the day after. I always give you a day to figure out that you don't know it.

Yan, just don't look at me like a piece of cheese. Just get your own paper and do it.

Yan, I don't have to look at - he uses up all the air space.

Why am I always saying something nasty to you? Stop it!

Will all the big mouths shut up except mine?

You have to hide your colored chalk. Otherwise other teachers will take them.

It's better to get it wrong now. Tomorrow you get public humiliation.

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..
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Yeah, I have a section in my AIM profile for her quotes. I update new ones fairly often.

Though some things seem mean, they're not. She's constantly makes fun of people who get not-perfect grades or make dumb mistakes, but her attitude is one of someone who loves teaching. "If I wanted to get rich, I wouldn't have been a teacher." It's interesting to note that one of her computer science students in the 80s went to college and made the game Wizards... that game was fun... and that guy became rich.

[Mike Soukup]

It's not really my favorite quote, but it's my most memorable. Back in school I liked to talk, make jokes, and distract my classmates when I was supposed to be paying attention. I was a good student and teachers liked me so they usually just told me to be quiet or move me next to people I wouldn't talk to. I guess I talked one too many times in 8th grade physics and my teacher got upset. Mr Willis told me that all I'd do in life is dig ditches.

Ahh i can't remember the exact quote, but this is close.

"Pollitical Science isn't a science...its a bogus degree in arguing." Dr. K. Kasem (Chem Professor)

[GregTheGreat]

Well I just have to put in a quote that was said to me by my english teacher my freshman year....

"Mr. Ullstam, are you trying to push my buttons....You know how easy they are to push"

Know imagine a guy that is 60 years old with died black hair with a comb-over, wearing Sears Catalog Suits (he was a model when he was 30) from the 70's with a "bling" medalion cross that was about 5 inches wide and 8 inches tall.

If you could have been their you would understand. Those of you that had Mr. Daranatsy know to where I am coming from.

Well There is my quote,

-Greg The Great

[robot180]

I had a teacher last year that was great, but he said a bunch of funny stuff. His name is Dr. Malhan. Since it is a bit rare to have a teacher with a phD, at least in Florida, we all called him Doc.

Doc said some funny things, a few of which I mentioned below. First, you must know that he is a Star Trek fan and drove tanks in the military during the Gulf War. He teachers web design, buisness managment, marketing, and internet commerce. (e-marketing and e-commerse) Here are some of his quotes:

"Guys...Guys...please...guys...no musical"
"What, please speak louder, I have tanker's ears." (from driving loud tanks)
"Please don't run around grabbing each other's forth point of contact"
"Wo! Wo! Guys! Guys! Ok, shields down...fazers on safe"
"Set the volume to 14 so it is loud enough to hear. 15 is way to high"
"I talk with my hands" (you have to see him talk to get this one)
"If you keep this up, you'll have less hair on your head than I do" (he is bold)
"Oh...that was a joke...laugh...ha ha"

I can't remember some of the other famous ones.

[Pat Fairbank]

I have this great math and physics teacher, Mr. Sanders. He is an engineer but has never done anything except teach. He also has a great sense of humor. Here are some quotes:

"Oh no, don't look!" (He covers what he just wrote on the board with his hand) "It's a radical in the denominator!"

"If you forget your textbooks, you have to donate one dollar to the poor drive. I'm poor, and I drive."

"...and that's the formula for the force of friction. I'm surprised none of you asked about the asterisk!" (He then draws an asterisk next to the formula) "This formula only works when..."

"...and then we bring this to the other side of the equals si-Heeeyyyyy!!! A quadratic!!"

[MissInformation]

One I remember was from my 11th grade science teacher (can't remember what class it was because is was a made up class to give those of us in the honors business course the extra science credit the state has decided to require for graduation). We had just had a lesson about waste and bacteria and our teacher said "So the next time you fart, don't say pardon me, say pardon my bacteria!"

And I had a chemistry teacher who used to always say "If you keep saying you're sorry one day someone will agree with you."

Heidi

<============>
worst quote: "Don't waste yourself being a teacher."

[Allison K]

Not really a quote, more of a story, but I think it was my sophomore year in band and we were playing the Star Wars death march song (can't remeber the name) and it was less than a week before the concert and the director didnt think we were playing it "dark" enough. He proceeded to yell at us saying "what your playing sounds like Darth Vader is doing the striptease," with an accompanying dance and all. I suppose it was more entertaining if you were there but we were all dying of laughter.

Allison

[Blacknight]

lol
when i saw this thread i thought of Mr. Parrish. He was my Algebra II teacher and had the stupidest quotes in the world, but they were funny...

"and i'd say to myself, self what are you doing?"

"bad hand bad hand!!" (he'd say that when he messed up)

"Sharp as a marble"

"It's like hellen keller playin' Jepordy"

"you're so bright your father probably calls you son"

"It's like kissing cousing"

yeah odd...

[Ashley Weed]

I recently had a guess professor for a week in one of my math classes. Everyone whom had him before called him CP or the "God of Math", because of his nature on the subject. For example, he created a tool belt to carry around his sidewalk chalk.

Anywho, when he was teaching... he made a statement as we were leaving, and said "Girls, no drinking and no boys"... of course all the girls were disgruntled, and didn't understand why, so they inquired why....... his response was "then the boys won't have anything to do, and they will study too."

[Spammy Badame]

Okay, i've had several funny teachers, one of them is my world history teacher. We all swear she is bi-polar. anyway, here are a few of Mrs. Wetzl's quotes:

"This is the world from inside out" (she put the map upside down on the overhead)

okay, to understand this one you have to know that she has a giant map on the wall of her class room, " don't you ever wonder what it would be like to view the world from the north pole? well, if you stand on your head you can" then she put another map up and said "and this is the world from the south pole"

"We have 68% of our DNA from cows"

"These guys were either brave or stupid"

"I don't think it looks like a crescent, I think it looks like a squid. So I'm gonna call it the Fertile Squid."

"These guys has sand in their underwear and more in thier contact lenses"

"And these guys were busy over here talking to thier goats....."

My 8th grade science teacher said this one just about every day (it's kinda similar to George's):
"I don't teach in your bathroom, you don't put makeup on in my classroom"

and then last year i had this perverted old history teacher who spent 2 entire days talking about Jon Crapper and the history of the toilet, and then the history of a bra.