A Personal Request

[Carolyn Duncan]

Now that the police investigation has been wrapped up our family has been given a bit more information. Apparently the kids at school, I cringe to call them her friends, were part of the reason she died. As the police discovered this particular circle would chose 1 kid to continuously tease, exclude, razz, fill in similar term here. It was kind of like a hazing. Not only had kids hanged themselves but they attempted to overdose on sleeping pills and had drank themselves into alcohol poisoning. When they decided to to turn on my cousin she was an easy target because her best friend, whom she had been trying to help get clean and sober, had just recently died. All they had to do was continue telling her she wasn't worthless and a horrible friend for not helping him and preventing him from killing himself, she truely lived by the saying "failure is not an option" and was more than devestated when she did fail. I can only imagine how hard it was for her when her "boyfriend" said "Kim quit crying over a dead guy I'm tired of hearing about it. If you miss him so much why don't you go kill yourself too, none of us will miss you."
So I guess in addition to my previous request I'd like to add this, remember that everything you say can hurt someone. You never know when it may be the last thing they can take before they do something stupid. In a time when everyone is trying so hard to fit in and be accepted, such as in high school, it is very important that everyone remembers what it feels like to be hurt and not let others feel that way too.

[MissInformation]

As I've said before sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can rip your heart out. I seriously hope the parents of those kids have been contacted and advised to seek help for their children regarding their behavior. Ideally, I wish there could be criminal charges brought against them, if only to make them realize what they are doing in wrong (something they should have known, and at least should have learnt after the first "casualty"). I'm not going to say what else I wish, it wouldn't be very nice. Bullying is not acceptable, no one should be afraid to report this to an adult, and if that adult does nothing about it, go over their head. And if a parent suspects something like that, they should get involved. It might embarrass their kid a bit, but sometimes that's just the way it has to be.

I lost someone very special to me because of bullying like this. He didn't commit suicide, he died trying to prove to the other kids that he wasn't stupid, or a sissy-baby, chicken, wimp... The world lost something amazing with him.

Every single one of you matter. You count. You're worth it. And no one has a right to say otherwise.

Heidi

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[Raven_Writer]

My condolences to you Carolyn.

This is something people should discuss more often honestly. In today's society (at least for me), it seems that whenever you bring up anything about suicide, depression, or just being down you're pushed away from that person (or people).

I find that even if you have to talk to a stranger about your problems, it helps atleast enough to get to the next stranger. If something is wrong, discuss. Weither it be friend, foe, or neutral party member(s). If you find it hard to talk to someone face-to-face, write it down in a note, hand it to that person, and wait on from there (not sure the last strategy is useful).

I know a couple of friends that have slit their wrists (but they didn't die, didn't cut far enough). When school comes back around I'm gonna tell some adult (I don't know where they live).

[Gabriel]

My deepest sympathies Carolyn.

When I first read this thread I had a lot on my mind, but now I find I have very little to say. I will try to keep this relevant.

I spent about six months last year in a state of severe depression and I attempted to commit suicide several times. I honestly don't know how serious I was, but I got pretty close once. My FIRST team was nice, but not particularly supportive and it became very clear that my team leader had completely lost faith in me. At the time I was doing programming as well as strategy/scouting and in Houston he limited my responsibillities and then undermined me in front of other teams. I was crushed, since at the time that was the only thing I really considered myself good at or particularly cared about. Most of my friends distanced themselves from me and after getting fed up with my erratic behavior, my school essentially kicked me out.

I only say all of this so that I can offer one bit of advice. Suicide and depression seem to be epidemic among teenagers. I don't know why that is, but chances are that at some point in time each of us will find that someone we care about is depressed or suicidal. No matter what happens, stick by your friends, family members, students, whoever. Even if they are being a jerk, stick with them and don't trust your assumptions about their behavior. Always remember that there's a reason you liked and respected them in the first place and you might just be the only person they have.

~Gabe