Friends-In-Trouble Tips

[Yan Wang]

If it's life-threatening, get an adult, preferably the parents of the person.

If it's not, it's not your business to deal with it. A person should be left to make his own choices in life. That's the beauty of democracy and this country.

[Raven_Writer]

Originally Posted by monsieurcoffee

If it's life-threatening, get an adult, preferably the parents of the person.

If it's not, it's not your business to deal with it. A person should be left to make his own choices in life. That's the beauty of democracy and this country.

yes, but what if you do not tell someone, or talk to that person, about the problem & it becomes bigger?

If it grows, the person may feel that no one will care to listen, so they won't tell anyone, they'll try to act fine, and when/if someone tries to give them help...they'll refuse it.

[David Kelly]

Originally Posted by monsieurcoffee

If it's not, it's not your business to deal with it. A person should be left to make his own choices in life. That's the beauty of democracy and this country.

Thats exactly what you dont want to do. If somebody would go as far as having suicide thoughts, or attempting, its almost too late. If you think somebody really needs help, you've got to tell somebody. You can start with the parents, but thats not always the best solution. You absolutely dont want to be in the position of saying to yourself "I didnt tell anybody because I thought he/she was okay," and then they go out and commit suicide. That guilt of thinking you could have done something to save their life would haunt you for the rest of your life.

[Yan Wang]

Originally Posted by David Kelly

Thats exactly what you dont want to do. If somebody would go as far as having suicide thoughts, or attempting, its almost too late. If you think somebody really needs help, you've got to tell somebody. You can start with the parents, but thats not always the best solution. You absolutely dont want to be in the position of saying to yourself "I didnt tell anybody because I thought he/she was okay," and then they go out and commit suicide. That guilt of thinking you could have done something to save their life would haunt you for the rest of your life.

I said that 'if it's not' life threatening, then it's not anyone's business. And that's still very true. If my friend were to have thoughts about suicide, then that would NOT fall under the non-lifethreatening category. If I really thought that person "really needs help", then that WOULD obviously be life-threatening and I would call their parents or some adult. Or at least talk to them. I thought my post made the distinction very clear. Sorry if it didn't. I was agreeing with everyone. [and lost rep points for it]

[Yan Wang]

Oh, here's two situations: something to fall under the non-lifethreatening category would be if a friend went to parties and had alcoholic-drinks. If that person does that once a month or infrequently, then I would leave them alone and consider it a stage of being a teenager. If, however, that person became an alcoholic, then I would be inclined to first start talking to them. And if that doesn't work, talk to their parents.

If it's life-threatening, get an adult, preferably the parents of the person.

If it's not, it's not your business to deal with it.

[Blacknight]

I would first try to help them yourself. Imediatly getting someone else if they only came to you might make them go over the edge or do something drastic because they do not want others to kno what's going on or might be afraid of what will happen to them. But if you do get someone else tell them not to say anything unless the person comes to them, or if there is no other choice.

[shyra1353]

Originally Posted by rbayer

If it's something less dire, like helping a friend deal with a break-up, etc, then at least for me the most helpful thing is to just have some one to talk to. Take the friend out to a movie and just let them talk to you if they want.

a break-up might unbearable to some people and not to others .. some people become very involved in a relationship and when it ends it may feel like the end of the world ... like i said earlier .. it depends heavily on the circumstances that surrounds the problem ...

Originally Posted by monsieurcoffee

If it's life-threatening, get an adult, preferably the parents of the person.

If it's not, it's not your business to deal with it. A person should be left to make his own choices in life. That's the beauty of democracy and this country.

the problem with this is not only the guilt as David said, but also if they are your friend, then you obviously care a little bit about them and you will want to help them in some way ( either directly or indirectly )

/edit: just because it is not life-threatening from your point of view does not mean that it isnt life-threatening from someone elses ... taking the example of the break-up .. to you it might just seem like a break-up and that the person has to deal with it .. but to that person it might just feel like the end of the world .. also a friend doesnt always know everything thats going on with the person and if you dont see the whole picture because the friend isnt telling you everything than you may also come to the conclusion that the friends life isnt at risk when it might really be