A testimony to my unique FIRST experience:

[Ken Leung]

I know this is way way way past the limit of a readable post in the Chief Delphi forum, but I had the urge to write it all out. Ever happened to you when the writing experience is much more enjoyable than finishing the writing itself? Well, this is such an experience for me. So feel free to ignore this whole thing, and move onto other threads. I am just grateful I have a place to post this. If you fall asleep ¼ way through this post, don’t say I didn’t warn you.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last weekend I was sitting at the Silicon Valley regional scoring table thinking how far this regional went in 6 years, and it shocked me how much I’ve changed in those 6 years. I bet you will not recognize me if you met the Ken Leung at 1999 when I first joined team 192 Gunn Robotics team, or the Ken Leung at 1995 when I first came to America.


You see, I’ve been an observer of the world around me most of my life. I watch many tomorrows become yesterdays and only responded with a nod or a smile. But FIRST is different for me some how. I have an urge to participate in it, be part of something bigger than myself. It is as if if I don’t do it, I will be missing the chance of a life time. And indeed, 30 years from now, I am going to look back and say, “I am glad I didn’t miss it.”

But it isn’t that I built a good robot or two, or got to shake Dean Kamen or Dave Lavery’s hands… It’s because through involvement with this amazing program, I started thinking harder than I ever did.

I should also point out that FIRST is one of the two major changes in my life. The other is my parents’ decision to come to America. Under normal circumstances, a thirteen years old like me would never be interested in the world, the purpose of life, and the secret of the universe. But as faith has it I came across 2 major problems that got me thinking: “How am I going to fit in this foreign world?” & “What am I going to do in this place for the rest of my life?”

It is as if I am reborn again, having to learn how to interact with the people around me, and once again figure out my place in this world. The great thing is I had a 13 years advantage to help me through it, so I don’t have to learn to walk again. The bad thing is, I was 13 years behind anyone my age.

Fitting in is no easy task, but it seems to be the story of my life. I had to learn to fit in the society I moved to, the high school I went to, the robotics team I joined, the college I chose, the FIRST community I was a part of, the group of FIRST mentors who formed WRRF, and the FIRST staff I hang out with at the hotel after competition. The weird thing is, just as I get comfortable and started getting along with one group, I moved onto the next group and start all over again. It’s like I was not satisfy with stability, and had to constantly seek out challenges to face. Or putting it in a harsh way, I was afraid of the comfort of stability, and ran away every time I got close to a group of folks who offer me nothing short of selfless friendship and hospitality. But let’s leave that aside for the moment.

When I was sitting at the scoring table at Silicon Valley regional last weekend, I realized I did everything you can possible do as a FIRST participant, with the exception of running a team, which I avoided due to the responsibility and stress, and also because I thought I wasn’t good enough.

I started out as a rookie team member on Gunn Robotics team having absolutely no idea how to use a power drill. My first year experience was rather unpleasant as I had trouble speaking English and zero experience in building a robot or working with other people. But things got better when I got to be friends with the coming year student team captain, I became the of head of workshop due to my skills on the milling and lathing machines. I went from a silent observer at the GRT team party to a major contributor on the robot and eventually the arm driver of year 2000. I left the team accomplishing as much as you can as a high school student, but still it wasn’t satisfactory for me.

I came back as a college mentor to the team trying to give back everything I gained from them. I worked with the students closely on the robot, and I keep the team up to date on everything going on in the FIRST community. GRT ended up placing 5th in at 2001; I had red hair; and I had 2nd most post in the Chief Delphi Forum, but still it wasn’t satisfactory for me. I kept asking for more, and FIRST kept giving me more. I started volunteering at competitions and help run off-season competitions. Last year, I became the head scorekeeper at Silicon Valley Regional, and I was in charge of California Robot Games, the off season event in Northern California.

And still, the thought that something bigger is out there wander my mind whenever I think about my life and my future.

I remember one of Dean Kamen’s speeches at Nationals back in the days. He said, “It doesn’t matter how many cars you have, or how many savings you have in our bank. In 100 years, it wouldn’t matter anymore… FIRST is not about how many awards or how many competition you won.” And that got me thinking, “If none of that matter in a hundred years, what does?”

Its not like that’s an uncommon question to ask. After all, when one begins to realize his/her mortality; one begins to think about the purpose of life, and what he/she is going to leave behind. You can see answers to that question everywhere. Just look at the priceless treasure we inherited from our ancestors: The philosophies from Greek, Chinese, and other cultures; Newton’s three laws of motion; Euclidean geometry, and so on. They are not just words written on pieces of paper, but ways of looking at the world and understand life and its purpose. And those will never perish away for as long as human being lives.

Then the next questions step in: As normal human beings, do we dare comparing ourselves to those legends and try to leave a legacy of our own? Do we dare imaging a better future without war, world hunger, and incurable diseases? Do we dare looking at our own mistakes from the past, understand the inherent shortcomings of human beings, and say to ourselves “Someday we will be successful”? Do we dare having the courage and the vision to make the world a better place? Do we dare challenging Destiny?

But that’s for each of you to seek your own answers. Me, I’ve always had trouble with self confidence, so I developed the habit of second guessing myself, even when I try to find the answers for the above questions. In place of answers, I thought of more and more questions to ask myself. I guess you can say I am learning to ask more specific questions, even though I am no where closer to the truth. The questions come and go like this:

Who am I to say I am qualified to decide what’s good for the future?
How do I know I am doing the right thing?
And for that matter, how can anyone say they are qualified to decide what’s good for the future?
If we make that decision based on the values we learned when we were growing up, and if all values in a society are all cultural relative, who can say what is the absolute right or wrong decision?

I went no where with those questions, so I tried a different angle to the whole problem.
I attempted examining the causes of recent humanity’s advancement, and realized that technology is responsible for many of them. We made major progress when electricity replaced coal, automobiles replaced horses, telephone replaced messengers, and in more recent years, personal computers replaced mountains of papers records, internet replaced postal services, and airplanes replaced steam boats. We can now accomplish so much more in a much shorter time than it has ever been done, and still we are going faster and faster.

So, I started to understand FIRST’s goal to motivate young people to pursue opportunities in science, technology and engineering. I’ve met lots of FIRST participants in my 5 years involvement, and they are some of the finest problem solvers I’ve ever met. Chances are, the next scientists and engineers to cure Cancer or walk on Mars had done FIRST when they were in high school.

Though, I can’t help but wonder, is creating problem solvers enough? The way I see it, part of being a great problem solver is the ability to discover the problems in the first place. If your every day engineers and scientists are the problem solvers, then it is people like Dean Kamen who are the problem discoverers. And not everyone is like Dean Kamen when he invented FIRST to solve the problem of shortage of scientist and engineers, or Segway to solve the problem of transportation. It takes open minded people who are not afraid to think differently, and have the courage to try new things. And that I believe is something beyond FIRST and its goal to inspire high school students about science, technology, and engineering.

How do we challenge young kids to become innovators and visionaries? How about the next Galileo Galilei, Sir Isaac Newton, Marie Curie, and Albert Einstein? What about the next Thomas Edison, Wright brothers, Henry Ford?

I have no answer to those questions. Frankly, it took my entire life time just to get to these questions. But since I am here already, I might as well start looking for some of these answers.

And that ends my testimony to my unique FIRST experience. Where I am going from this point on, I have no idea. But I promised myself to never stop thinking out of the box and look at the big picture, and I am determined to make myself a better person in the years to come.

Last but not least, I just want to say I owe many thanks to FIRST and its participants for your inspiration, guidance, friendship, support, and patience. You are like a family to me. I only wish I can give back even 1/10 of everything I’ve grain from this family.

There is also a special group of people I want to thank, the mentors I got to know through out the year, either because of WRRF, regional competitions, off season competitions, or the Chief Delphi Forum. Here are some of them. Please forgive me if I forgot to list some of your out there, you should know you will always have a special place in my heart.


Jason Morrella (FIRST fmr 254)
Ken Krieger (WRRF fmr 192)
Mike Martus (47)
Joe Johnson (47)
Andy Baker (45)
Al Skierkiewicz (111)
David Kelso (131)
Matt Reiland (226)
Dave Lavery (116)
Bill Beatty (71)
Mike Soukup (111)
Paul Copioli (217)
PJ Baker (177)
Steve Kyraminos (254)
ChrisH (330)
Mike Betts (177)
Sue Krussel (1037)
Raul Olivera (111)
Chris Hibner (308)
Mike Ciavaglia (47)
Rob Ciavaglia (247)
Aidan Browne (175)
Ken Patton (65)
gwross (330)
redhead_jokes (294)
Mike Abury (47)
Wayne Cokely (25)
Mike Faticani (157)
Libby Ritchie (393)
Scott Ritchie (234)
Greg Mills (16)
Lloyd Burns (188)
Bob Koehl (440)
Don Knight (64)
Tonya Scott (476)
Michael Sperber (175)
Ken Wittlief (578)
Chris Fultz (234)
Rich Wong (NYC FIRST)
Eric Reed (481)
Jerry Glasser (1097)
Ted Shinta (115)
Mr. Bill Dunbar of Gunn Robotics Team 192

And my deepest gratitude to the amazing people from FIRST I’ve had the privilege of working with and got to know:

Tammy, Ron, Eric, Mark, Rick, James, Steve, and every other FIRST staff.

Oh, and my best friends in FIRST:

Jessica Boucher
Bill Gold
JVN
Kate Leach
Matt Leese
Joe Ross
Carolyn Duncan
Mark Whitehouse
Dima

And how can I forget, Anton the ninny.


Thank you all for the 6 wonderful years of my life.

[omutton]

I read the whole thing!!! That was a great testimony. You are an inspiration to anyone who wants to further their involvement with FIRST.

[Greg Perkins]

Ken,

Wow...thats about all i can say.

Although I have never met you, I know exactly where you are coming from. I hope I will have the opprotunity and honor to meet you, shake you hand, and bond in the way you think. I myself, came into this program unsure of myself, and very awkward. Through the ability to express my technical ideas without a biased opinion, i was able to succed in knowing my part has been complete. I also would like to say that if anyone here who hasnt read all of this amazing post, should....hands down, it's a bible all to itself. I want to thank you Ken for taking your hard earned time to write this masterpeice, and to encourage people.

Yours in FIRST-

Greg Perkins

[Ken Leung]

Thanks everyone for all your kind words! I didn't expect anyone to actually read through the whole post. Most people just tell me they skim through my posts whenever they are beyond 5 paragraphs. You should really give yourself a pat on the back for not falling asleep ;-).

It felt really good getting all of that off my chest, mostly because they are not great for starting conversations at a robotics competition: "Oh by the way, how do you think we can inspire kids to be the next Einstein?" People seem to want to talk more about robots, who's going to win the game, or problems with their school administration.

A big reason I post on the Chief Delphi Forum is the chance to write. I don't have much writing skills, but I find myself thinking over and over again about a topic that interest me until the post is satisfactory. It's a lot of fun taking notes of random thoughts about a topic, and organizing them into long messages. The writing process helps me a lot on figuring out what I really feel about a certain issue. I usually reach a conclusion only after many attempts to write a post about it.

So while you guys continue to debate about robots, strategy, or little green dots, I am going to find some other topics to think about. I hope you realized that it’s possible to have fun posting on the Chief Delphi Forum ;-).

The sleeepy one,
Ken Leung

[patrickrd]

Hey Ken,

Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience... About to graduate from College, I too spend a lot of my time thinking about what I would like to do with my life, what is valuable, and what is not. I'm not sure where I will end up, but reading posts like yours, listening to speaches by Dean Kamen, and meeting great people through FIRST... These types of things lead me down a path I know I will not regret. Thanks and hope to run into you again someday!!

- Patrick

[Libby Ritchie]

Ken: I, too, read the whole post and was quite shocked to learn that YOU have self-confidence problems!!! WHY IN THE WORLD would YOU have that kind of trouble? I have only met you once and that was at IRI last year. I think we had a total of three days to talk and know each other. However, I will never forget when we took you to the airport on that Sunday. You hugged me and I felt like I had known you forever! I had a hard time not shedding a tear or two when we had to say goodbye. You are so easy to talk to, to get to know, and you are just a GREAT person! In addition, you are smart and funny and you make other people feel good about themselves.

I work with a man that reminds me a lot of you. He has so many wonderful qualities, but has the same confidence issues. I look at him and wish I was HALF as smart as he is and the students and I believe in him 110 percent. As I have told him before, I cannot imagine how he cannot see what we all see...and I think that you are the same way. You are one of those people that I look up to and respect for so many reasons. Believe in yourself, in your abilities, who you are, and look at all the lives you have made a positive impact on! I am one of those people and I think you are such a neat person. Keep on doing what you do and believe in yourself 110 percent!

What a neat post you had. However, I wanted to add my thoughts on you and let you know how special you are to FIRST, kids, mentors, and many others you make contact with!

[omutton]

Once again, great post. I hope to meet you in Atlanta! You have inspired me to et further involved with FIRST.

[BandChick]

I'm very impressed ken, wow...that seriously moved me. great words, great inspiration. i don't know how anyone could passby the opportunity to be in FIRST after reading that. you deserve way more than a pat on the back for writing and experiencing that, and i'm extraordinarily glad to know you in person for the great guy you are.
Sara

[Al Skierkiewicz]

Ken,
I read the whole doc, and I am impressed. The folks in my generation call this an epiphany, an awakening, as you put it, a rebirth. The cool thing is, many of us have gone through the same sequence of events, the self awareness and the questioning. I believe that a person becomes better by asking the hard questions and more importantly, truthfully getting to the hard answers. When someone asks themselves whether they are doing a good job, achieving their goals (or even just setting realistic goals) helping others around them, being a good member of society, etc. they are thinking outside the box. When they truly answer those questions and act on the answers is when individuals move from just exisiting towards greatness. I am grateful to have been included in your list and second what Libby had to say about our meeting at IRI. But...I am just a guy. I am not a Tom Edison or Henry Ford, I am just a guy. I am a guy who can answer questions about electrical, I can help out when asked, I hope I am able to point someone in the right direction, but I am just a guy like the millions of other guys and ladys in the world. I don't know what the world will be like in a hundred years. Our existence will not likely be recorded in any great book of the 21st century, but I (and many others) are doing what we can to make it better than before we were here.
Yes, there is a lot to fix in this world and one person can't do it all, but if enough of us get together, we can do some incredible stuff. So where does that leave you? You are at one of life's thousands of little crossroads. Two paths lie before you, take one and see where it leads. If you don't like the scenery, take a different path the next crossroad you come to. Just don't stop and stay where you are, the rest of the world will pass you by.
As a closing note, please thank your parents for me. If they had not made the decision to come to this country, I may never have met you. Thanks for all you do, hope to see you next week.

[Rich Kressly]

Wow Ken, lots to discuss here. You're certainly a uniquely gifted person who does not need to allow doubt to slow you down. I only wish all of the students I teach would entertain these important thoughts. Without being redundant, I'll throw you a few ideas your way in reference to your big questions. Again, therse are my humble opinions, not answers.

"Who am I to say I am qualified to decide what’s good for the future?"
If you are brave enough to take risks for the betterment of others, don't let fear and doubt stop you. Unchartered water is supposed to feel uncomfortable. Anyone who has met you or read your thoughts here knows that you exhibit that kind of bravery.

"How do I know I am doing the right thing?"
You never "know", but you feel it intuitively. You learn to trust your instincts. As you move forward you realize the ONLY person who never feels this kind of discomfort is the person who never makes a decision. I recommend reading Celestine Prophecy, closely examining western philosophy, and reading anything that has to do with understanding self or enlightenment.

And for that matter, how can anyone say they are qualified to decide what’s good for the future?
Well trained, well intentioned, well informed people with courage are necessary for the advancement of mankind.

If we make that decision based on the values we learned when we were growing up, and if all values in a society are all cultural relative, who can say what is the absolute right or wrong decision?

Ahhhh, science meets humanity. Scientific disciplines have some absolutes. For instance, we all love it when Al Skierkiewicz shares his knowledge and we take "absolute answers" back to our teams about motor performance, programming, etc. However, you'll never have that "absolute certainty" about things that have yet to be done or attempted. When there is no white paper, spec sheet, or someone there to say, "Yes. That's right." you need a diferent kind of guide. While cultural relativity certainly exists, I do believe all people everywhere share common ground as humans. When I'm faced with unchartered water, I frequently look to Theodore Roosevelt's Man in the Arena (AKA Dare Mighty Things which happens to be Team 357's motto) for strength and guidance:

"In the battle of life, it is not the critic who counts; nor the one who points out how the strong person stumbled, or where the doer of a deed could have done better.

The credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who does actually strive to do deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotion, spends oneself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at worst, if he or she fails, at least fails while daring greatly.

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those timid spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."

Keep asking good questions Ken. They are far more valuable than the quest for absolute answers.

[ducttapejason]

inspiring words ken... sorry i will not be at the championships, i really wish i could, be there. the worst part is this is the second time typing this message. i tried to hit copy on my old message and i deleted it all by accident. well as i was saying my obligation to my fraternity is calling me, after all the time i neglected it at various regionals and events. this weekend is the pledge dance, which for anyone out there in a fraternity, (but not DOX, the FIRST fraternity, which i would like to get started).

i don't remember what i put in my second paragraph that got deleted, but i know i ended it by saying maybe at the next SV regional, i will be able to have one job, instead of Pit Admin Manager/Back-up Announcer/Back-up Spare Parts/ Full Time Referee. and then i said something like ... but all of those jobs do not even touch how hard you work for FIRST, even with my 80 hours over the 6 days of two regionals. too bad i cannot add more time to that by going to nationals.

and now to detract from the positive messages from our statements, the only reason i did not delete your quote before adding my thoughts is... MY POST IS LONGER THAN YOURS!!!!

*edit by Ken L: sorry Jason I really had to take the quote out to make this thread readiable*

thanks to a very special FIRST-a-holic ... ken leung... i am sure you will find all the answers


-------------------------------------
jason katzer
former student #598 team duct tape
mentor: #668, #256
member: #0000 first-a-holics

Grand Treasurer-Kappa Sigma @ San Jose State
VP of Events-Inter-Fraternity Council @ San Jose State
CEO-Wireless Worx, LLC.

[Redhead Jokes]

Originally Posted by Ken Leung

The other is my parents’ decision to come to America. Me, I’ve always had trouble with self confidence, so I developed the habit of second guessing myself, even when I try to find the answers for the above questions. There is also a special group of people I want to thank, the mentors I got to know through out the year, either because of WRRF, regional competitions, off season competitions, or the Chief Delphi Forum. Here are some of them.
redhead_jokes (294)

I read thru the whole post and loved it. What I hadn't read was the list of people.

My daughter said, "Mom, you were mentioned!"

I had no idea the big story in your life.

What is that saying about wisdom knowing all the things you don't know. You share wisdom over and over again. It's one of the reasons people like me falls in love with your name on Chief Delphi, and spontaneously gives you a big hug in person.

[Joe Ross]

I took a few minutes to figure out which teams were most represented in Ken's thanks. In many ways, these are the best teams in FIRST, the ones that are not only impacting the lives of thier own students, but others as well.

47
111
131
175
177
192
234
254
330

[Ken Leung]

Originally Posted by Rich Kressly

Without being redundant, I'll throw you a few ideas your way in reference to your big questions. Again, therse are my humble opinions, not answers.

Thank you Rich! Your reply is amazing! Got me a lot of things to think about. Now I get to lose more sleep at competition thanks to you :-). I will certainly take notes of them.


Again, thank you everyone for your replies and comments. I am totally surprised anyone took the time to read the post. I felt really emotional last weekend after the regional, kept thinking about my experience in FIRST and my past, and needed an outlet for all those thoughts and emotions. This post was a result of that.

I got a lot of wonderful comments about this post! Thank you all for everything you said to me, you guys are the BEST! As Andy Baker said to me in a comment about this post, "We are in this experience together, my friend." Without you guys, I won't be who I am today. I am honored to be part of this community.

See you around!

[Rich Wong]

Yes, I read the whole thing; twice and copied it to my collection of FIRST Testimonials. It’s excellent! (Well composed too; definitely a classic)
And I understand everything you are thinking and going through.
Al Skierkewicz said it quite well.
So how do I top Al?

Let me try….so here is my contribution:
*1st think that came to my mind:
“Refreshing….. I wish I possess your insight and knowledge when I was in college. I would be one awesome dude right now!”
Someday our paths will cross and then you’ll be sorry. I can bore you with hours of stories. That’s what older generation mentors like to do (just ask my students).
And I’m envious of your “A” list of friends too. ;-) NYC FIRSTers are not too pronounced outside of NYC. (That’s a long story)

*2nd thought:
Congratulations Grasshopper. You have achieved the state of FIRST Nirvana. You may now leave the temple. (A cheesy pun from the 70’s… see I told you I was from an older generation)

*3rd thought:
I think you have also answered your own questions…..
Questions like:
“Who am I to say I am qualified to decide what’s good for the future?
How do I know I am doing the right thing?
And for that matter, how can anyone say they are qualified to decide what’s good for the future?
If we make that decision based on the values we learned when we were growing up, and if all values in a society are all cultural relative, who can say what is the absolute right or wrong decision? “

….because the answers to your questions are the questions or there is no correct answer.
(Sorry if I sound fortune cookie-ish, I wonder why?). All these questions plays in my mind all the time as my sanity check.

I feel questioning yourself is not a shortcoming, it is a gift! It’s how you manage and use this gift is how you will affects the world around you, your future and other people’s future.
“Keep your friends and foals close to you because there is a lesson to be learned from everyone.”

One more thing….
*4th Though (see I can be quite long winded and boring, my 3 children say it all the time):
One of the differences between an engineer that solves problems and an engineer who finds problems (analogy to thinking out of the box) is the ability to question things, the ability to seeing situations and problems that others cannot. (this remind me of an engineering joke….. another time)
BUT….these questions and the ones above will also keeps you growing and feeling alive, sometime frustrating but nothing is perfect- that’s life.

And one more thing….
*5th Though:
Why do I think FIRST is doing the right think?
Every year I meet students that I mentored in the pass who comes up to me and thank me for the guidance that I offer them when they were on the FIRST teams. Some didn’t take the advice but they were happy that that had to insight to choose their path.
That’s my reward- the student “Thank You.” It justifies all the time, energy, and hard work it takes to mentor several teams a year. (That’s another long story….)

Last comment (I promise):
For the little I have contributed to CD, I’m ecstatic to have gotten onto your “List of FIRST Stars.” Thanks! You have put a big smile on my face and made my day.