FINAL FANTASY!!! (Possible Spoilers!!!)

[Robby O]

DONT HATE ME!!! These are just the funniest critical reviews of the film I found so I thought I would share. If you go to the film expecting a whole lot, your fave moment will probably be the spiderman trailer. Its a game-to-movie movie, so dont expect much. But dang, is it pretty...


"In what is undoubtedly a stunning but dubious achievement, the makers of Final Fantasy have succeeded in mastering the artificial reproduction of bad acting."
-- Michael Elliott, MOVIE PARABLES

"The sight of these characters getting romantic is about as involving as watching two expensive mannequins kissing in a Macy's window."
-- Kenneth Turan, LOS ANGELES TIMES

"Apparently, about $100 billion and millions of hours of rendering cycles went into creating Dr. Beautiful's hair, and about $1.50 and a coffee break went into the script."
-- MaryAnn Johanson, FLICK FILOSOPHER

"My fantasy involved having the projector break or seeing the theater lights come back on."
-- Sean O'Connell, ECLIPSE MAGAZINE

"Final Fantasy joins Tomb Raider and The Phantom Menace as movies whose moronic stories are mere vehicles to get the viewer from one game-challenge sequence -- a chase through canyons, a battle with aliens -- to the next."
-- Roger Moore, ORLANDO SENTINEL

"The characters are so frighteningly lifelike ... that it becomes distracting, which I guess actually helps the story in a way."
-- Jon Popick, PLANET SICK-BOY

"Digital technology allows man to create man in his own image with greater sophistication than ever before, and the 'man' he creates is a bore."
-- Geoff Pevere, TORONTO STAR

"The film's greatest strength is also one of its biggest weaknesses. As realistic-looking as the characters are, the flat, expressionless features make them seem emotionally aloof and rather unsympathetic."
-- Jeff Vice, DESERET NEWS, SALT LAKE CITY

"These characters are so stiff and dull that you'd be tempted to use that control pad to make the aliens eat all of them. That would be worth watching."
-- Dave White, IFILM

"It feels as if a computer also wrote and directed the film."
-- SCREEN IT!