Announcement: The 2004 IRI Talent Show!

[Chris Fultz]

Coming out of New Hampshire, we would like to show you midwesterners how to rock.
OK, now I am upset. I have called my friends Johnny Cougar (I still prefer his original name) and Bob Seger - prepare for the IRI version of 'Dueling Banjo's".

All 5 of us were on FIRST teams at one point, but we all were rejected in last year's volunteer screening process.
I now have much more faith in that screening process.

You might recognize our bassist, who was with the band "Slobber" in the 80's.
Based on his current age, is he now performing with "Drool"?

We hope you let us play, as we just got a new (to us) '79 Chevy Van
I'll notify the local police, and AAA Wrecker Service

Is there a campground nearby?
Ooops, sorry, when you get to Indiana you have passed by Woodstock. We stay in hotels.

Can we use the showers at the event?
No, there are wastewater standards in the city. We can give you directions to the White River, famous for recent fish kills due to industrial dumping.

That French Lick place sounds wicked fun, but how far away is it from the gig?
It is real close, especially by 1978 Chevy Van (I assume it has a 350 "pre-emissions" V8 powerhouse. I will book you a campsite.

Can we set off pyrotechnics?
No. That could set off a chain reaction. We have Walter the Farting Dog and several 'fragrant' FIRSTers at this event.

We could bring a goat for part of our stage show, if you think that would help.
Good idea. If Ritchie runs out of burgers we can have Goat-Mc-Macs.Just keep it away from the farm kids.