How NOT to program

[Jack Jones]

Ignore messages:
They forgot to mention to always set the –Wall compiler flag.

Don’t stop to think:
OTOH, if you do, always think too much. Even if your loop is O n5, go ahead and write it out – you’ve got reams of paper.

I don't want any trouble:
Sure you do! Don’t forget about all those bucks that come from maintenance and support. Let’s not forget about job security either. Who’s going to fix it, a manager?

Reading:
Be very careful here. If you create something brilliant and present in a way that even your Prof. can understand, he will at best, mention you in his refereed article – or at worst, re-write in ADA and sell it to the Pentagon.

Writing
(Ibid) Plus, don’t forget that job security thing. Comments will only get you outsourced!

Don't ask for help:
Challenge your lecturer:
Jeesh, they assume you even went to class.

Be clever using electronic mail:
Don’t forget, assuming it compiles, to attach the executable. Remind him to change the extension back from .txt to .exe, which most e-mail handlers would strip. This is especially true when your program causes catastrophic failure – you won’t have to look up how to spell catastrophic – he/she will recognize it immediately.

Leave it all for the last minute:
Duh? Who doesn’t?

Cheat with your assignment:
Not advisable, just cut-n-paste from many others’ work. Works best when friends think “modular.”