Student suspended from school

[wilshire]

Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.

"A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the **** is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

[cdawzrd]

When you post other people's fictitious stories, it's nice to include a link or some other form of acknowledgment.

[Andy A.]

In case anyone is really interested:

http://bbspot.com/News/2000/6/php_suspend.html

-Andy A.

[Conor Ryan]

wow thats a weird story. my friends do PHP too.

for all of you out there that PHP or Hypertext Preprocessor is an HTML embeded scripting language, its currently very popular on the web and this site happens to be written in it. here are some cool examples of PHP being used
www.chiefdelphi.com
My friend wrote this, its a digital white board that anyone can post on, very cool and geeky
more to come....

(notice the .php in the address bar) I can understand people confusing it with PCP (aka Angel Dust, thats what they taught me in DARE) but at least let him explain what he was talking about before you go off suspending him. but i'm congradulating on him going down as a real computer nerd

"I don't know what the **** is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

[KenWittlief]

if you listen carefully, you can hear the swarm of lawyers about to decend on the school

think this 'story' will rate a rebuttal on snopes.com?

[Mike]

-_-
This story is soooo old, it's not true and was just written by a programmer with too much time on his hands.

[Rombus]

BBspot should give you indication enough of the validity of this story

[wilshire]

quote : This story is soooo old, it's not true and was just written by a programmer with too much time on his hands.

This may be true but still it is funny to bring up once in a while. You guys must not like the underground newspapers at your school if you do not like fictitious stories.
Programmars with to much time on their hands don't write articles. They write programs and viruses.