Harassment in the pits

[Jaine Perotti]

Originally Posted by Kit Gerhart

A number of years ago, I had a class at work on sexual harassment, which is most of what this thread is about. The gist of what we were taught is:

1) If you are "hit on," or whatever term suits you, by another person and if you are offended, don't like it, or just aren't interested, you should inform the person to to that effect. Then, if the person "does it again," that is harassment.

2) Basically, that means that you can be made to accept one "incident" without officially being harassed.

Of course, this was more than 10 years ago, so maybe the rules have changed. In any case, being made uncomfortable by other team members should not be part of a FIRST competition, and a FIRST competition is different from a work place anyway. Hopefully there are few cases where this becomes serious, but if a student is being seriously annoyed by a member of another team, they should probably tell someone like a mentor from that team.

I agree with Kit wholeheartedly.

I want to remind everyone that harassment is typically defined as being "in the eye of the beholder." So before we judge too hastily what the definition of harassment is, we must realize that certain boundaries exist between "harassment" and "being friendly" or "flirting" - and that these boundaries differ from person to person. What may be considered "flirting" to one person may be considered "harassment" to another.

I want to encourage all of you to try to be sensitive to each individual's interpretation of these boundaries. It is ok to try to get to know someone better, but in doing so, be cognizant of how they are feeling about the experience. Never assume that someone will accept brazen overtures as being comfortable and fun to them, even if it is for you. If you sense that the person is uncomfortable, don't push the limits of their boundaries. Make them feel comfortable...if you do, they will be even more willing to get to know you.

If you are being harassed, I second what others have said here already. Like Kit said, the most important thing to to is to tell the person to stop. If they continue to bother you, tell a mentor or some other figure of authority whom you trust.

To those who may be looking to meet someone special, DO NOT act in a way that might make someone else feel embarrassed or awkward. Get to know that person better... talk to them and be friends. Show them that you respect them. This will give you a better sense of what their boundaries are, and they will be WAY more likely to like you as a friend and to build a good relationship with you. Trust me on that one! The best relationships are formed on friendship and trust, not inappropriate or demeaning actions.

Use good sense.

-- Jaine

[Bharat Nain]

Well, this problem is faced in the real life too. Meeting people, making friends etc is good stuff.. I won't say no to socializing at events or anything of that sort. I think here's where people skills comes into effect. If you feel uncomfortable by the acts of any individual, as others have mentioned earlier, just tell them you feel uncomfortable. It might also be a good idea to be with a friend from this point on if you know this certain someone is really after you. I know many teams face problems with self-centered guys/girls who just want to go to competitions to have some *fun*. Another thing people should keep in mind is, whatever you do at competitions reflects back on your team. Things get around eventually and you will not be able to do anything about it.

Some kids are mature enough to make their decisions while others are not. Sometimes its necessary for team mentors to step in because their team members are a little stupid. Liability issues await if things go wrong.

[Ashley Christine]

Well, I find this all very interesting.

Personally I dont have a problem with it.

You can choose whether or not to give someone personal info. You can say no thanks to a hug...
Or you can make really awesome friends that all have one thing in common with you.. a love for FIRST.

Everyone at the regional i went to was so nice and funny, and I had an awesome time and talked to alot of people from other schools. There is nothing wrong with making friends. Okay, I admit sometimes I am a little flirty, and I absolutely love hugs! But that doesnt make me bad as a person. Or anyone else for that matter
[not that any of you guys said it did]

basically i feel that if you do your job and you have the spare time, why not make new friends, a cheer on another team. Its all about having fun, afterall we are still young.

[greencactus3]

Originally Posted by ashley

basically i feel that if you do your job and you have the spare time, why not make new friends, a cheer on another team. Its all about having fun, afterall we are still young.

i agree. we're young, we dont know much, we try to have fun, we sumtimes mess up but as long as you didnt hurt anyone/thing its all good. try again.

[KTorak]

A few girls on our team this year claimed they were being harassed...I never heard anything though after the one instance. (Of course, I never leave our pit area except to talk to allaince drivers/coach and to go out to the field for our matches.)

[Eugenia Gabrielov]

Like others who've posted before I think it's really important to differentiate between random events and harassment.

I am of the "free hugs" sign variety. However, in my personal opinion, that is more of an in the stands thing. I wore a sign in the pits last year at Nats because I didn't bother taking it off, but I got approached first as a general rule by people I didn't know who weren't busy in their pits. If my friends or I were looking for people whom we owed shirts, we generally just asked if it was a good time to trade and if it wasn't, that was fine too. So keep in mind that some people will be polite.

As far as the actual harassment issue, here are a few ways to handle it maturely:

1) You are here to work on your robot. Your priority is to be here and work on your robot. Or cheer for your team. If your priority was to pick up girls you would be in the stands doing so. I understand it's tough when you're shy in person and don't want to really offend someone and cuase scene, but sometimes its simply effective to tell someone to back off and that you're not interested.

2) If it's one person repeating it, their behavior reflects negatively onto their team. Inform them of that politely. That would be the most effective way to express unhappiness with their behavior in my opinion.

3) There's a lot of people out there who just want to spread happiness, give handouts, and meet friends. As a girl who enjoys giving out free hugs on a purely platonic basis, I can advise you that it is generally easy to tell the difference between harassers and average outgoing FIRSTers. I've never started a long-term relationship at a robotics competition, and I don't plan to, because I personally do not believe that a weekend, no matter how emotionally inspiring it is, is grounds to create a bond that lengthy.

4) If you think it's harassment it's harassment. If you have friends with the same problem, casually mention that you find the individual annoying, and ask them to help you deal with it if he or she comes back.

On behalf of myself and others, I'm very sad to see that you've had that sort of experience. It happening once in your FIRST career is really painful and obnoxious. Good luck in dealing with it in the future.

[Bharat Nain]

OH ya, if you find someone annoying who just won't leave you alone, find the biggest guy around and request him to give a nice tight bearhug to the annoying kid

[Koko Ed]

Originally Posted by Keiko173

I have heard of this before......oddly enough, never on chiefdelphi....

ANYWAY.....on the subject. I have seen guys trying to pick up girls at competitions, and vice versa. I personally, along with many of the girls on my team will never go looking for boys, unless we're really bored (doesn't happen often) If we happen to notice a cute one, that's nice, and we'll be happy if we see him again, somtimes talk to him, but there is in no way stalking. While i've never personally had to deal with guys blatent picking me up, i believe that most guys if not all would respect the "you're making me unfortable", "please go away" or "i'm really busy right now" If they're really freaking you out, there's plenty of great guys on your team or other teams that you know that are more than willing to help you with anything, whether it be with power tools or protecting you from the creepy guys next pit over. Guys asking for phone numbers, or handing them out...wow, impressive. I've seen it but never experienced it. I believe that guys aren't creepy, and if they are acting so, just tell them they'll knock if off. And if they aren't stopping, mentors are always there to help.

Sure we have.
They just weren't calling it harrassment. It's all a matter of interpretation and basically it's another real world lesson that FIRST presents to the kids (albeit inadvertantly). Just remember what may be seen as "harmless" fun in your eyes may not be as fun as your intended target. In the real world such behavior could get you fired and make you unhirable (I had a friend who had that happen to him and you are a leper once you are accused. No business wants that headache).
And lets not forget such behavior help bring about the end of one of the greatest teams in FIRST. Think about it": If it can happen to GRT why can't it happen to FIRST? All it takes is an angry parent looking for a quick buck and a rabid lawyer and all this can easily go away. We need to be careful.

[Bemis]

OH ya, if you find someone annoying who just won't leave you alone, find the biggest guy around and request him to give a nice tight bearhug to the annoying kid

We have someone like that. His name is Frank. I can't stay off his bad side......... But anyways, my veiw of this is that if we all just do what we are supposed to, nothing bad will happen.

[Katy]

OH ya, if you find someone annoying who just won't leave you alone, find the biggest guy around and request him to give a nice tight bearhug to the annoying kid

That or as a last measure say you are the mentor's kid. It is amazing how much guys don't want to hit on girls if their dad is around. Grabbing a random guy off your team and saying he is your boyfriend also works wonders in desperate situations.