CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #49

[Dorienne]

(mocking the song "If I Were A Rich Man" in Fiddler on the Roof)

Ashley: If I were a pretty princess
Yaba dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum
If I were a pretty princess

I wouldn't have to work hard
Yaba dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum
If I were a biddy biddy pretty
Yidle diddle didle didled princess

I'd wear my lipstick all the time
With eyeshadow and liner
And my gaudy dresses galore
Making those boys walking past me go wild
There would be pearls and diamonds all over me
And even more on my dress
And more on my skin for no reason, just for show

I'd fill my treasure chest with dolls and accessories
For all my friends to drool over
And each loud "ooh" and "aah" and "oh my!" and "EEE!"
Would land like a trumpet on the ear
As if to say "Here lives a pretty princess"

If I were a pretty princess
Yaba dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum
If I were a pretty princess
I wouldn't have to work hard
Yaba dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum
If I were a biddy biddy pretty
Yidle diddle didle didle princess

I see my prince my Jakie looking like a pretty princess' husband
With a proper double chin
Supervising servants to his heart's delight.
I see him putting on armor and strutting like a peacock
Oy what a happy mood he's in
Screaming at the servants day and night

The most important women in town would come to fawn on me
They would ask me to advise them
"Like Solomon the Wise.."
"If you please, Princess Ashleyyyy..."
"Pardon me, Princess Ashleyyyy..."
Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes!
And it won't make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong.
When you're a princess, they think you really know!

f I were a princess, I'd have the time that I lack
To sit in my room to primp and style.
And maybe have a seat by the pool below.
And I'd discuss the contents of makeup with my friends for several hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I were a pretty princess,
Yaba dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum
If I were a pretty princess
I wouldn't have to work hard
Yaba dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum
If I were a biddy biddy pretty,
Yidle diddle didle didle princess.