FAHA: The trouble of a college mentor

[Ken Leung]

Hello Everyone,

Sorry I've been neglecting this part of the forum for this season. I've had little time to think about FIRST things and forgot to check up on the FIRST-a-holic anonymous mail box. I will bring up this issue with the rest of the moderators very soon, and hopefully find someone(s) who can take care of this corner from now on. Thank you for your patience. Now, onward with a letter I just received recently:

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I was the team leader on a team that was a first year college team this year. To say the least, things went a little tough. I am not an engineering major and don’t have very much knowledge of it, however, I don’t feel that engineering knowledge is necessary to run a team, if your other mentors are doing their jobs. My main question however, is a bit deeper than that.

I am having a serious problem trying to take care of business on my team. My mentors have little to no respect for me and don’t take me seriously when it comes to making decisions. In the middle of a mentor meeting, for instance, not only did one of my mentors have a cell phone ring and answer it, but the phone was answered without leaving the room with no attempt to hide the conversation. I am ignored and disrespected and even that I can deal with, but it’s getting to the point where that hinders the progress that our group can make. I try to suggest fundraisers, outings, etc. try to ask for help with sponsorship or anything else and I end up being ignored. Me trying to do what most teams have 5 or more people doing is putting our team at a huge disadvantage and, as I see it, a point where we may be falling apart.

So I guess that my biggest question is that I feel like there are two options: me resigning my position and allowing someone who is respected and who the others will be willing to work under to take my place, or staying here and trying to continue to do things myself. Either way, I am seeing the team not working. Right now, I feel like if I step down, that none of the others would step up. All of them have said at some point that they are not interested in running the team and I am afraid that if I don’t do it that no one else will. (ending the team) Staying here I feel would also cause an issue because I don’t think that I can effectively run this team anymore.

I would appreciate anyone giving me advice as to which option I should choose.
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It is very tough to be a team mentor, especially when you've just recently graduated from high school and still only a teenager yourself. Not only do you have to face a new environment of a new school, but you also have to meet new people and work with them to build a new team, a task that challenges even the greatest mentors in this program. Many of you have already or are going to face similar situations, so please share your advice/thoughts and tell us what this fellow FIRST-a-holic can do.


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FIRST-a-holic Anonymous mailbox is a place to share your concern and frustration about your FIRST experience anonymously. It is the perfect place if you just want someone to listen, or ask for advice when you don’t know what to do. Submit your letters today at the FIRST-a-holic anonymous mailbox forum: http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/f...splay.php?f=124
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[sanddrag]

It seems like you have a very good understanding of the situation you are in and you have your options sorted out pretty well too. I am a main college mentor for the team and was a high school student on the team for 3 years before that. My problem is that everyone looks up to me so much that I do everything and they never have any ideas of their own. So, it is pretty much the opposite of your problem.

However, on our team the main adult is a Math teacher. Based on the description of your problem, I think his position is similar to yours. He has lots of ideas but most of them get rejected because he is not an engineering-oriented type of person. So, it usualyl ends up with him building cardboard models and wood mockups and running mathematical calculations on things that never get build and he keeps to himself with that stuff. I don't think this is quite what you are shooting for. You want to be involved in the real project, not your own explorations.

So, I will say this, respect works both ways. I'm not saying you don't respect the other mentors, but a "building of respect" needs to be initiated by someone, and it obviously isn't going to be them.

You pretty much need to make them feel good about their own ideas and designs. Instead of poking holes in their ideas, or criticising them, let them proceed with what they want to do. Even help them do it. Then, once they see that you care about what they think, they will start caring about what you think. I know this is sort of backwards in your view but in the long run it will lead to a much better relationshio.

Another way to earn their respect is to simply ask for help. Tell them, you have a really good idea, but your not sure how to implement it. Instead of them coming up with their own ideas, ask them to figure out how to make yours work. Tell them you really want to gain an understanding of why this needs to be done like that and so on. You probably have lots of questions now, but tell them once you start understanding this stuff, you won't need so much of their help.

Third, go back to the kids. That's really what it's about. This strategy would be a sort of ignoring them a little bit. Build up a stronger partnership with the students, befriend them. Instead of arguing with the engineers, make progress with talking with the students. Help students develop their ideas and get them to back your ideas.

I would not recommend ever getting into a real battle over whose idea or design is better or something like that. Usually our team doesn't disagree on a whole lot of things because we make decisions on what is best for the team as a whole. No student was disappointed that they didn't get to drive the robot, because they could admit that there was somebody who was better. And a better driver, makes a better chance of success for the whole team, rather than just Billy getting his chance to drive. So what I'm saying is, do what's best for the team.

Also, keep things very civilized. Don't be afraid to confront whoever you have a problem with, but be sure to do it in a very calm way, non-attacking. Just tell them you have a few concerns about the status of the team. Make sure you have other things to list besides just them. If you stay calm, things will be okay. If they are older than you and you "accuse" (not reall accuse but more of mention a suggestion to one of thier problems) them of something, most likely they will get angry and they will get very defensive. Just keep your cool and everything will be fine.

Best of luck to you!

[Jeff Rodriguez]

My advice is to be honest with the other mentors. At the next full team meeting, tell the whole team your dilemma and what you think your options are. Tell them you can't handle the workload you have and you need help.
I also stress full team meeting. With the whole team there, some students may step up to take more responsibility.
Also, be sure you tell them what you think the consequences would be. There may be more options that you aren't seeing, simply because you just don't have enough life experience. I've been in that boat many times and other mentors can be so much help I can't even describe it.

Basically, honesty is the best policy.

Hope this helps somehow.

[sanddrag]

Originally Posted by sanddrag

Third, go back to the kids. That's really what it's about. This strategy would be a sort of ignoring them a little bit.

When I said "them" I was referring to the engineers, not the students. Sorry for being unclear.

[Amanda Morrison]

To whomever wrote this: You are not alone.

There are many more people like you who go through this same thing. The best advice I can give is to display a lot of self-confidence and knowledge through FIRST... otherwise, it will get the best of you. It is not necessary to be an engineering, technology, science, etc. major to run a team, and I can't say that enough. Generalizations like that destroy teams. A team needs someone who is dedicated enough and organized enough to run the team, and has a want to spread the message of science, technology, and engineering to students who may not otherwise have the opportunity.

Just because I study one area, does not mean I don't want to promote another, etc. Your team needs to get this straight. Being meek will not help - get your point across. If you are a seasoned FIRST vet, make it known.

In FIRST, leadership positions that are handed down don't always work out so well. Leadership positions that are assumed are successful, most of the time, because the person in charge cares enough to be in charge. So what if you don't know engineering? You now have one year under your belt in running a team, and more experience will come in time.

The best I can say is to be confident, self-assured, and to go on doing your job. The best you can do for your team is to lead it efficiently. It's not your job to herd engineers like cattle.