Have you ever been laid off?

[Al Skierkiewicz]

Madison,
You are most definitely not "useless". If you have been hired once or twice, someone saw something in you of value. I have never met a single person in FIRST that I thought or found to be useless. Work on what you are good at, get counseling help if available from your employers EAP (Employee Assistance Program) to get you over the hump. Take a look at any and all possible leads, no matter how small. You are going through a rough time and you will get through it. You are a FIRSTer after all and have seen some of the roughest times anyone could imagine. Use your skills, brainstorm, plan, execute. You can do it.