True things heard at college.

[KelliV]

"You stole the horse on a cop, I needed that horse on a cop" -Overheard in Production 1

"Don't throw things at the police, they can be mean, and they will beat you. But most of all, Don't ask them if you can ride their new 2 wheel scooter things, they won't let you, and they will beat you." - Said in our "City Safety" class
-The 2 wheeled scooters he was talking about were Segways, and he is right, they won't let you ride it, a guy in my class asked and he got ran into by it instead.

[Joe Matt]

"Hey guys, instead of just throwing paper all over the girls floor, why don't we roll this giant roll of paper down the hall?" -me

"If it wasn't on The Daily Show, I don't know about it." -me again

"Ha-ha! Body in a wood chipper!" -me too

[KenWittlief]

"Whats this thing?" - Electrical engineering student from a foreign country, in a senior year digital design lab, looking at a 2N2222 transistor like he had just picked up an insect from another planet

[Joshua May]

Got another one yesterday. It was the final minute of class, and my calculus professor didn't want to stop lecturing when he finished the topic, so he said "If Nicolas Cage can steal a car in 60 seconds, I can definitely teach you calculus in 60 seconds."

[Billfred]

We're talking about education in sociology, specifically in Japan. The professor starts talking about how getting into the upper-level high schools gets you into world-class universities like "Kyoto University, Tokyo University, Hiroshima...you know, the bomb schools."

She went on to clarify her statement--now I know why professors discourage slang in academic work: it's always ill-timed.

[team222badbrad]

"Plumbers make good money, but look at all the $#@&(crap) they have to put up with."

[Kiwi_queen]

"Anyone who knows this information deserves a beer. But anyone who actually uses this information *needs* a beer." ~ my networking professor

"These examples are useless. When is anyone ever gonna care whether they pay exactly $13 for apples and bananas? Now, when I get problems like this, I imagine I'm a crack dealer and I'm trying to figure out how much of the good stuff to mix in with the fake stuff." ~ my math professor

"He can't be biased! His writing is so monotone!" ~ kid in my English class, in response to reading Sigmund Freud

"Ok, I want you each to write a perfect paragraph, and then I want you to get into small groups and try to prove to everyone why your paragraph is perfect." ~ English professor
"But if the paragraph is perfect, we don't need to prove it. We already know it is" ~ same kid who figured Freud couldn't be biased on account of monotonality

[wilshire]

"I will not tolerate magic in this course!" -Materials 1

[Joshua May]

"No, I'm not a vegetarian. The fact that something died just to make my food good makes it taste that much better." - Basho

"In laser-eye surgery, do they use lasers on your eyes, or do they put lasers in your eyes? I'm going with the lasers in the eyes." - Basho again

[Lisa Rodriguez]

"so are you wearing clothes to the underwear party or are we just gonna walk over in our underwear?" - my friends, actually about 2 minutes ago when she called me

"does anyone here put salt in their beer?" - my marine chemistry professor talking to a class of freshman

"you can go study that and make a big name for yourself, but that's not what we're looking for here" - same professor as before

"hurricane party!!!!!" - guy 1
"what's the difference between a regular party and a hurricane party?" - guy 2
"we pretend the world is gonna end, so we drink more" - guy 1

there are so many more, but i just can't post them :-D

[Beth Sweet]

Favorite college quote is my science teacher's inability to pluralize the word fish. I love hearing about the dinosaurs, marine reptiles and fishes that lived millions of years ago...

Let's see, my friend Hannah (who has lived all over Africa) tells me stories about how a hippo is going to eat me (well, kill me at least), "do we get a college discount?" being asked at the local Oodles of Noodles, 25 times..., the girls down my hall dressing up as ninjas when the little kids came to trick or treat and the girls following the kids down the hallway was interesting to see, though that's not really something heard. A number of comments innappropriate for these forums... The dorm actually calling its food "goblin puke", and last but not least "no, el dia de los muertos no fue un dia cuando todos se murieron" (translation: No, the day of the dead is not a day when everyone died) when my spanish teacher was asked by a student if the day of the dead was a mass Aztec killing spree rememberance...

[Matt Leese]

Originally Posted by Beth Sweet

Favorite college quote is my science teacher's inability to pluralize the word fish. I love hearing about the dinosaurs, marine reptiles and fishes that lived millions of years ago...

Fishes is a word. (See here under plural: http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/fish ). It does generally refer to multiple types of fish however.

Matt

[Beth Sweet]

Originally Posted by Matt Leese

Fishes is a word. (See here under plural: http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/fish ). It does generally refer to multiple types of fish however.

Matt

Gah!!!! All semester I've been correcting him!!! :hides under rock:

[team222badbrad]

"I wouldn't recommend robbing a Federal Reserve Bank, it wouldn't go well."
My Economics Professor

[Denman]

When you write out that you don't have to include the x 10 ^-3, thats just a hobbie of mine....
(he was showing us how to add capacitors in series and had them in picfarads)