CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #74

[Koko Ed]

In Space No One Can Here You Lecture About Drive Systems

[artdutra04]

As John takes a break from testing IFI's new waterproof zero-gee total-vacuum speed controllers, he's spotted on by one of NASA's new web cams mounted on their shuttle fleet. Shortly after this, Dave had to redesign this year's game after finding out that while JVN had slept on duty, a hatch was left open and the only copy of the top secret blueprints drifted out and burned up upon reentry of Earth's atmosphere.

[KathieK]

I know Dean's homework was to spread the message about FIRST but I don't remember anyone saying we had a Vex tournament scheduled for space! Lavery, what have you been up to???

[MissInformation]

With his first high school reunion fast approaching, John desperately tried to come up with ways of backing up his claims about his "successful" career.

[Al Skierkiewicz]

Even the simulation of being weigthless causes John's stomach to flip. Somebody get a bucket, quick!

[KenWittlief]

Take one: Every since he was a kid, all John wanted to do was take up space!

Take two: This is your NASA eye in the sky with the 9AM traffic report. I see heavy traffic in New York Boston Albany Syracuse Rochester Buffalo Pittsburgh Philadelphia [inhales........] Baltimore Washington Norfolk...

Take three: [Don Knots voice] we are now passing over Hawaii. Our retro rockets will fire in ten, nine, eight...

Take four: Space suit, check! Cinder Block, check! GPS Coordinates for Billfred's house, check!

Take Five: [John] This is me, when I was in space!
[HS freshman] That is the worse photoshop cut and paste Ive ever seen!

[Wayne Doenges]

Hey! I can see my house from here. Hope I turned off the lights before I left.

[Gary Dillard]

When IFI offered JVN the "job of his dreams", John accepted without hesitation. He forgot to take into account that Tony is a controls guy, and their dreams tend to be slightly different.

[EricH]

JVN does not need a helmet. You see, his head is shiny enough to blind the sun without one.

[EricS-Team180]

...Space Oddity

(...with apologies to David Bowie)

[Andrew Blair]

Neun, never really having much of a childhood after being forced to build tedious mechanisms during his younger years, is always seen trying to make up for it in his adult life. In a rare montague captured by CNN media crews, John comforts himself to sleep at his home, in a custom built AstroActionNaut suit.

[EddieMcD]

John: "I reeeaaalllly have to go!"

[Kyle Love]

JVN: I don't believe that Lavery has cars on mars! So, I'm going to find em!

[Conor Ryan]

JVN: This is JVN to IFI are you there?
*crickets*

[Travis Hoffman]

Jealous of Andy-Mark's newest monopoly over the robotic parts market - this time, in outer space (Andy having just formed a joint venture with his new Chief Logistics Manager Dave Lavery to sell A-M products on Mars), IFI sent JVN to the Moon to try and save face. Tony was at least hoping to drum up some business and minimize the number of times he had to endure the "Innovation Second" jokes among his peers. Unfortunately, the Moon Men were not impressed by John's sales skills and sent him packing for Earth...without a spaceship. Here we see JVN as his oxygen is about to run out. Lucky for him, a Space Shuttle with a big "Andy-Mark Inside" logo appeared to rescue him and return him to his life of beer-opening robots and not much else.

The End.