Chuck Norris

[Conor Ryan]

Weirdest: The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

Not as weird but good:

• If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
• Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
• Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

Oh there are some good ones....

[KelliV]

Originally Posted by Conor Ryan

Weirdest: The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

Why is Chuck Norris before cancer? well...
Chuck Norris's Tears can cure cancer. To bad he never cries.


We posted a whole list in our school paper.

[Conor Ryan]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero, but JVN did it first.

[Andy Baker]

Chuck Norris punches the alliance station wall and wins autonomous.

Chuck Norris has a holonomic drive that can push anyone across the field.

Chuck Norris can be the human player and throw a Poof ball into the 3 point goal and it counts.

During alliance selection, Chuck Norris has the #1 and #2 pick before everyone else, but he picks teams who are not even there.

Woodie Flowers would like to win the Chuck Norris award.

[Greg Needel]

Originally Posted by Andy Baker

Woodie Flowers would like to win the Chuck Norris award.

hahahaha

[DHarris]

Well, I picked these off a website, but they're the ones that made me almost spit Fanta on the keyboard

• In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

• While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

• Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

• Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

[artdutra04]

Chuck Norris does not need an operator interface to control robots.

Chuck Norris can undo magic smoke.

Chuck Norris wants to be the real JVN.

[Eugenia Gabrielov]

Chuck Norris can webhug himself.

[prettycolors91]

chuck norris blames the programmers