Jokes

[Branden Ghena]

Q: If you have a canoe in your closet with four flat tires,
how many pancakes does it take to flatten a bowling ball?

A: A string this red.

[Aburame Shino]

A pirate walks into a bar, and the barkeeper notices that there's a steering wheel on the front of the guy's pants. So the barkeeper asks "What's with the steering wheel?", to which the pirate responds "Aarr, it's driving me nuts!".

[Jack Jones]

OK - what I'd like to know is which of these ^^ two most offends yu?
----

Without cracking a smile, the bartender asks, "So, where are your buccaneers?", to which the pirate responds "Aarr, they be under me bucking hat!"

[vic burg]

I actually don't get the first one. lol.

[Jack Jones]

Originally Posted by vic burg

I actually don't get the first one. lol.

That's because the first one is rated PG - the next two rated "Aarr"

[Adam Shapiro]

Originally Posted by Jack Jones

That's because the first one is rated PG - the next two rated "Aarr"

Heh, I think that one has to be the best corny joke of them all!

[lukevanoort]

Originally Posted by Adam Shapiro

Heh, I think that one has to be the best corny joke of them all!

I concur

[Dylan]

Originally Posted by lukevanoort

I concur

No, this is.

Q: Why couldn't the ten year-old get into the pirate movie?

A: Because it was rated Arrr!

[Buster Wolf]

what do you call 100000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

a good start.

[Dylan]

One day a blind baby rabbit and a blind baby snake run into each other. They decide to try and describe each other. The snake says to the rabbit: "you've got a twitchy nose, long furry ears, and whiskers." The rabbit says: "wow, I must be a rabbit! lets see, you've got cold, scaly skin, and a tongue thats going about a million miles an hour!" The snake says: "darn, I must be a lawyer!"

[Dylan]

This one is direct from cartalk.com.


One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"


Yes, I know, horrible.

[EricH]

Why don't sharks eat lawyers?

--Professional courtesy.

(Don't get me started on jokes....Let's just leave it at that.)

[Branden Ghena]

LETS START BLONDE JOKES!!!
A blond is sitting in a row boat in the middle of a field, rowing and getting nowhere. Another blonde drives by in his car, stops, gets out, and says, "You know, its blondes like you who give us smart blondes bad names." The blonde who is rowing says, "Why don't you come here and say that to my face?" The blonde at his car replies, "I would, but I can't swim."

[Branden Ghena]

A brunette is jumping on the railroad tacks chanting, "Twenty-One, Twenty-One, Twenty-One" A blonde walks up and thinks it looks like fun. So, she stars jumping on the tracks and chanting too. A train came, the brunette jumped off, and the blonde didn't. Afterwards the brunette jumped back on the tracks and started chanting, "Twenty-two, Twenty-two, Twenty-two"

[DonRotolo]

What is the difference between a duck?

One of his legs is both the same!