10 Signs that your son is a hacker.

[Alexa Stott]

Originally Posted by BurningQuestion

What isn't funny is the fact that whoever wrote it was dead serious.

I feel so bad for whoever's parents took this article seriously.

And if you notice, the description of the physical appearance of a "hacker" is actually that of a candy raver. I think this guy should be concerned about some *other* issues his son may have.

[sanddrag]

Another article on that site said the government should outlaw linux computers and that Microsoft should turn off the internet from 10PM to 7AM every day.

And you've gotta love those wonderful Comet Cursor and Bonzi Buddy hacking programs. ROFL (they are actually spyware, make sure you don't have them).

[artdutra04]

Originally Posted by sanddrag

Another article on that site said the government should outlaw linux computers and that Microsoft should turn off the internet from 10PM to 7AM every day.

Oh no! How would I be able to surf Chief Delphi during the build season if Microsoft turned off the Internet every day at night? Ohh the humanity! But maybe since I use illegal "open source" software like Mozilla Firefox and listen to these evil "mp3" music programs I won't have to worry about surfing Chief Delphi when I am in grounded for using the Internet for more than thirty minutes a day.









* Note: This post has been found by the State of California to be a complete joke. Use as directed.

[Alexa Stott]

Originally Posted by artdutra04

Oh no! How would I be able to surf Chief Delphi during the build season if Microsoft turned off the Internet every day at night? Ohh the humanity! But maybe since I use illegal "open source" software like Mozilla Firefox and listen to these evil "mp3" music programs I won't have to worry about surfing Chief Delphi when I am in grounded for using the Internet for more than thirty minutes a day.

N-n-not Mozilla! I wonder if that was perhaps created by Castro.

I hope the kopzorz don't find CD. We'll all be taken away in handcuffs!

*sigh* The whole website is pretty amusing, actually.

* Note: This post has been found by the State of California to be a complete joke. Use as directed.

Ah, but we all know that The Internet Is Serious Business.

[santosh]

I am honestly not sure whether to believe this or not.
If this is a joke, it is probably one of the funniest nerd jokes I have seen in a good while. If it is serious, it mkaes me want to cry myslf to sleep at night. every night. until I am forty. nine

[Rick TYler]

Originally Posted by santosh

If it is serious, it mkaes me want to cry myslf to sleep at night. every night. until I am forty. nine

You got a problem with that?

Rick "Born in '56" TYler

[kio_chan176]

i only qualify for spending hours on the computer (especially on the internet) and installing odd music programs to try them out. ^^;; girls can be hackers too! >_> <_<

[Beth Sweet]

Ok, according to this, I am a hacker (BTW, I am not a "son")

Now will someone please come fix my computer???

[Edit: I really am serious about the fix my computer, the cd drive decided to disapear and uninstall itself]

[chrisinmd]

I love Lunix! *hacker alert!*
I can't even believe that I would buy computer parts that weren't made in America! That is soooo hacker like!
(I love my AMD 64 3000+, so I must be a super hacker!)

[FF_1610_EMT]

i know how to get around the school system's firewall WITHOUT hacking into the school's mainframe and thats why i'm the only person that knows how to get around period (plus i'm not allowed on the computer that has internet at home and i get real bored at school without being able to get onto MySpace. but i'm on MySpace right now.)

[Astronouth7303]

Originally Posted by BurningQuestion

After browsing around and reading other articles, I find the whole entire website ridiculous. At first I thought it was all a joke, but apparently the people who write articles on there are serious. I find it frightening, actually.

The article itself made me laugh though. Especially the mispelling of Linux as "Lunix." What isn't funny is the fact that whoever wrote it was dead serious.

[EDIT] I'm not really sure if the site is real or a joke, as I read through more of it. oww... my brain hurts... surely such ludicrous people do not really populate this planet...

Look at http://shelleytherepublican.com/ some time. That one made me think for a while. (About whether he was serious.)

[Donut]

So this article is basically saying my Dad and I are a father-son hacker combo? Interesting, I'll have to inform him of it. My whole family may classify as a group of hackers.

This seriously has to be the most funny/outrageous thing I've seen in a while. I'm debating whether to laugh hysterically or be seriously concerned that someone may believe this.

[Morgan Gillespie]

I.. don't know what to say... other than dressing like that, "DOSing" and grades dropping I fit all the criteria.

Originally Posted by article

The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

WHAT!? The only time I have ever, ever used my computer for less than 45 mins a day is when I am not home.

Also perhaps your *son* is asking to change ISPs because AOL is terrible!
AOL's parental controls block some of its own sites! YES! It is slow, gives too many unusable tools, and that accelerator is a piece of crap and destroys images.

As for Quake, no, but I used to play Quake III Areana online, until AOL 9.0 came to exist. Unless that was the Quake he was refering to, but what can I say Quake is nice and easy to mod.

Originally Posted by article

Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language.

No, those who go against you with obviously wrong information will be met with flaming. Sorry but when I hear "My computer tv will not go into the plug hole," I lose it. Now when met with somone who simple does not know and is trying to descibe something this is ok, yet when I correct this person time and time again and they still use the wrong terms when asking for my help I just lose it.

Originally Posted by article

If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits,

He is reading be happy!

Originally Posted by article

They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips.

WHAT!? What in the world does getting a graphics card upgrade or hard drive upgrades have to do with hacking. AMD, inferior knock off?

Originally Posted by article

performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group

You have a hacker son on a sports team?! Shesh I would be happy with that, forget how well he is doing.

Not only that did you see the poll?

Originally Posted by poll

Poll
I'm scared of hackers because...
They hack into NASA 5%
They steal things 4%
They are violent sociopaths 4%
They use amphetamines and speed 7%
They help Osama Bin Laden 14%
They're un-American 5%
They smell bad 58%

We do not use drugs, help Osama Bin Laden, are violent, we aren't un-American (applies only to US citizens), and in most cases we do not smell bad! We smell like nachos, sweat, burnt rubber, and cotton.
Plus we do not hack into NASA, just because we are at their site a lot does not mean we hack into it.

Sorry if I sound so revved up, as I was reading this I kept losing connection to my neighbors network. Its the closest thing to high speed I got! I just wish it was a little closer...

[Bill_Hancoc]

Id like to know how you break into somebodies stereo. And as long as we are on spelling mistakes its not Linyos Torovoltos its Linus Torvalds

[114Klutz]

That is an awesome piece of humor.

This has been circulating around for a while now - and every time it shows up I'm very suprised that some people manage to believe it as a true article.

It's satire - and an excellent piece of satire at that.