10 Signs that your son is a hacker.

[Alexa Stott]

Originally Posted by artdutra04

Oh no! How would I be able to surf Chief Delphi during the build season if Microsoft turned off the Internet every day at night? Ohh the humanity! But maybe since I use illegal "open source" software like Mozilla Firefox and listen to these evil "mp3" music programs I won't have to worry about surfing Chief Delphi when I am in grounded for using the Internet for more than thirty minutes a day.

N-n-not Mozilla! I wonder if that was perhaps created by Castro.

I hope the kopzorz don't find CD. We'll all be taken away in handcuffs!

*sigh* The whole website is pretty amusing, actually.

* Note: This post has been found by the State of California to be a complete joke. Use as directed.

Ah, but we all know that The Internet Is Serious Business.

[santosh]

I am honestly not sure whether to believe this or not.
If this is a joke, it is probably one of the funniest nerd jokes I have seen in a good while. If it is serious, it mkaes me want to cry myslf to sleep at night. every night. until I am forty. nine

[Katie Reynolds]

Originally Posted by Fruity Pebbles

That's just ...odd. It kind of reminds me of this one list, "Your child might be a goth if.."

I thought the same thing! I remember a "symptom" of being "goth" was ... eating Count Chocula cereal! ... and it was a "serious" article.

I like this: "Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?"

... that's part of becoming a teenager!

[kio_chan176]

i only qualify for spending hours on the computer (especially on the internet) and installing odd music programs to try them out. ^^;; girls can be hackers too! >_> <_<

[Astronouth7303]

Originally Posted by BurningQuestion

After browsing around and reading other articles, I find the whole entire website ridiculous. At first I thought it was all a joke, but apparently the people who write articles on there are serious. I find it frightening, actually.

The article itself made me laugh though. Especially the mispelling of Linux as "Lunix." What isn't funny is the fact that whoever wrote it was dead serious.

[EDIT] I'm not really sure if the site is real or a joke, as I read through more of it. oww... my brain hurts... surely such ludicrous people do not really populate this planet...

Look at http://shelleytherepublican.com/ some time. That one made me think for a while. (About whether he was serious.)

[Donut]

So this article is basically saying my Dad and I are a father-son hacker combo? Interesting, I'll have to inform him of it. My whole family may classify as a group of hackers.

This seriously has to be the most funny/outrageous thing I've seen in a while. I'm debating whether to laugh hysterically or be seriously concerned that someone may believe this.

[Morgan Gillespie]

I.. don't know what to say... other than dressing like that, "DOSing" and grades dropping I fit all the criteria.

Originally Posted by article

The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

WHAT!? The only time I have ever, ever used my computer for less than 45 mins a day is when I am not home.

Also perhaps your *son* is asking to change ISPs because AOL is terrible!
AOL's parental controls block some of its own sites! YES! It is slow, gives too many unusable tools, and that accelerator is a piece of crap and destroys images.

As for Quake, no, but I used to play Quake III Areana online, until AOL 9.0 came to exist. Unless that was the Quake he was refering to, but what can I say Quake is nice and easy to mod.

Originally Posted by article

Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language.

No, those who go against you with obviously wrong information will be met with flaming. Sorry but when I hear "My computer tv will not go into the plug hole," I lose it. Now when met with somone who simple does not know and is trying to descibe something this is ok, yet when I correct this person time and time again and they still use the wrong terms when asking for my help I just lose it.

Originally Posted by article

If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits,

He is reading be happy!

Originally Posted by article

They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips.

WHAT!? What in the world does getting a graphics card upgrade or hard drive upgrades have to do with hacking. AMD, inferior knock off?

Originally Posted by article

performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group

You have a hacker son on a sports team?! Shesh I would be happy with that, forget how well he is doing.

Not only that did you see the poll?

Originally Posted by poll

Poll
I'm scared of hackers because...
They hack into NASA 5%
They steal things 4%
They are violent sociopaths 4%
They use amphetamines and speed 7%
They help Osama Bin Laden 14%
They're un-American 5%
They smell bad 58%

We do not use drugs, help Osama Bin Laden, are violent, we aren't un-American (applies only to US citizens), and in most cases we do not smell bad! We smell like nachos, sweat, burnt rubber, and cotton.
Plus we do not hack into NASA, just because we are at their site a lot does not mean we hack into it.

Sorry if I sound so revved up, as I was reading this I kept losing connection to my neighbors network. Its the closest thing to high speed I got! I just wish it was a little closer...

[Bill_Hancoc]

Id like to know how you break into somebodies stereo. And as long as we are on spelling mistakes its not Linyos Torovoltos its Linus Torvalds

[114Klutz]

That is an awesome piece of humor.

This has been circulating around for a while now - and every time it shows up I'm very suprised that some people manage to believe it as a true article.

It's satire - and an excellent piece of satire at that.

[Cynette]

Ok. Some of you people are scaring me. I can't believe you are correcting spelling errors and rebutting some of the points. The article is satire 100%, just like the DaVinci Code is fiction! (oh drat... 114Klutz just posted on the satire part)

I'm guessing the spelling errors are intentional to avoid any copyright or libel concerns.

Who wants to do the CD version of the Article- "10 signs your teenager is addicted to Chief Delphi?" Hurry the internet shuts down for the night in 1 hour and 24 minutes!

Cynette

[114Klutz]

Originally Posted by mocat1530

Ok. Some of you people are scaring me. I can't believe you are correcting spelling errors and rebutting some of the points. The article is satire 100%, just like the DaVinci Code is fiction! (oh drat... 114Klutz just posted on the satire part)

I'm guessing the spelling errors are intentional to avoid any copyright or libel concerns.

Who wants to do the CD version of the Article- "10 signs your teenager is addicted to Chief Delphi?" Hurry the internet shuts down for the night in 1 hour and 24 minutes!

Cynette

Already working on the FIRST one

[EddieMcD]

Oh please, everybody knows hacking into NASA is no big accomplishment.

But yeah, that article is a great piece of satire. Assuming it was intended that way, the author has my props. But they forgot the most important sign of all:

Your son's English lessons consist solely of the translated Zerowing.

[artdutra04]

Here is what a lot of people who read that article do not understand. Yes, there are people that dumb in the world. And yes, some have access to the Internet. And yes, some do create stupid websites and try to preach their values to the world. But this website, and quite a few others, are purposely satirical with as much incorrect information as possible.

They contain downright lies and false facts, that are painfully obvious to any intelligent person. Think of this as either the "moral" behind a fable or subliminal messages on steroids - the real message behind these articles is to question the world around you, think critically, and make informed and intelligent choices. And because of this, I think the real author of this article was way smarter most people think, in order to create such a masterpiece of reverse psychology. And I applaud him (or her) for their efforts.

[Rick TYler]

Originally Posted by santosh

If it is serious, it mkaes me want to cry myslf to sleep at night. every night. until I am forty. nine

You got a problem with that?

Rick "Born in '56" TYler

[Greg Needel]

OK so i read the article and agree with the ridiculousness of it, although there is one fact that i think you all should see.

Author:T Reginald Gibbons
Topic:Internet Idiocy
Postedec 02, 2001

yes thats right, it was posted in 2001. Think back to that time, and alot of the things in the article would seem more legit. Alot of the things in the article like Linux, leaving AOL, were common place things. for example broadband connections were first getting popular, and at that time AOL still had a limited "hours per month." While Linux was gaining popularity there was nowhere near the level of national acceptance that there is now.

I still think there is a good chance that this is a satire but if you look at it from a national historical aspect some things make more sense then today.