Generation gaps

[Jaine Perotti]

There are two instances where I find the older and younger generations may have tension in their relations.

The first instance is when a former student on a FIRST team graduates and decides to mentor another team. Often, it is hard for them to change their role from student to mentor, and it seems like they don't always realize what the true role of a mentor is. They continue to be a part of the student social network, instead of taking on the more "professional" adult role.

In my opinion, the heirarchy and structure of a team is disrupted when new mentors don't recognize that they are no longer a student. Mentors, as people of authority, should not be on an equal social basis with the students on the team. Not to say that they can't be friends - but the friendship should be that of an adult to a child, not a child to a child. They need to stay above whatever social conflicts inevitably arise between students, so that they can solve those crisis. But, if the mentor still considers themself "buddies" with, say, one of the people involved in a conflict, they are no longer in a position of authority to resolve that conflict, as mentors should be.

This is why I believe it is completely innapropriate for mentors to be a part of the students social interactions - mentors should not have "buddies" on the team, nor should they be involved in a romantic relationship with a student on the team. If I were to be mentoring a team, I would choose NOT to mentor the team I graduated from. Instead, I would mentor a team where I didn't know any of the students, and I would not be tempted or feel obligated to be a part of the student social network. I would instead choose to be an authority figure so that my mentoring could be effective.

I remember several years ago, when one of the alumni of the team came back to try and be a mentor. This student, our former programmer, did not fully realize what it meant to be a mentor. He didn't take on the role of "teacher" appropriately, and made negative comments to his old friends on the team about the student he was trying to teach. It is completely innapropriate for mentors to gossip about a member of the team to other members of the team, because they can't resolve problems among students if they are the cause of those problems.

This doesn't solely occur among new mentors. This occurs among full grown adults too. This happens when an adult tries too hard to "fit in" and be seen as "cool" by members of the younger generation. Sometimes, these kids are their students. I experienced this twice during my time in middle school and high school. The best example was in seventh grade. That year, I had a young man as a teacher, who had just gotten out of college. He would talk about his social life, his girlfriend, and would tell jokes all of the time. But when the class got out of hand, no one would listen to him when he would tell the class to be quiet. The fact that he put himself on the same social level as the kids ("buddies"), undermined his authority in the classroom. The same thing happens on FIRST teams between students and new mentors.

The second instance (related to the one just discussed) is in the case of how much the adults on the team intervene with student behavioral issues and personal conflicts. On my old team, it seemed like the adults had some difficulty deciding when to let students work out their interpersonal issues for themselves, and when to step in to prevent dysfunction on the team. Obviously, the adults don't want to be constantly getting involved in our personal issues, because that borders on actually participating in all of our social issues (which would make them less authoritative and more "on our level"). But on the other hand, they don't want things to get so out of hand that the team's performance is affected. It's a fine balance, and I can understand that it must be difficult.

Good thread topic, I am enjoying it.

-- Jaine