CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #113

[Cuog]

"You have just been assassinated in the FIRST assassins game!"

[Steve W]

Eugenia has just joined the programmers sub team. This is her first attempt at hacking. Someone please sit her down and explain a few things before she gets carried away.

[JaneYoung]

Barry: Genia, please stop trying to cut me down just because I look cooler than you and sign my petition.

Genia: Barry, if you ax me not everyone is going to sign a petition that says,
Go umbrella heads - some day we will rain...

[Travis Hoffman]

Apologies to "Braveheart" (hurray for movies made when Mel Gibson wasn't loony)




[last lines as the final battle scene freezes at its most climactic moment]
Andrew Baker: [voiceover] In the Year of our Lord 2005, ophiophilists of Indiana - short and outraged - charged the fields of Bonzackburn. They fought like warrior geeks; they fought like Hoosiers, and won their freedom from bothersome Floridians wearing dorky hats.

[Rich Wong]

Barry: Miss! Miss! Hi, I’m a member of “Humans Against Insensitive Robot Incarceration and Enslavement” (HAIRIE).
Here is my HAIRIE guy membership card and badge.
Could you help use with a survey? Thanks you.
Question 1- FIRST is a competition that promotes violence against robots. Agree or disagree?

*Whack, whack, whack!*

Oh ok Miss.... I'll take that as a yes?

[Taylor]

<not an entry> Notice how the local is in short sleeves, while the foreigner is wearing long sleeves and an umbrella hat? Gotta love Indiana weather! </not an entry, just an observation>

Entry to come soon.


hopefully.

[Taylor]

In true Boilermaker fashion, Eugenia shows off her prowess with a sledgehammer. With enough practice, maybe she'll earn one that's not inflatable. On the other hand, it does match her poof medicine ball and nerf barbell set....


<yet another not an entry> I tried to do something involving the Hello Walk, but that would be way too regional a joke, and only perhaps 4 people would actually get it, including me. </end of yet another not an entry>

[skimoose]

FIRSTers recreate a scene of epic proportions...

Eugenia: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight.
I am Eugenia, Queen of the FIRSTers.
[pause]
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me
in my Court of Hoosierlot.
[pause]
You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?
[pause]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
Eugenia: What?
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
Eugenia: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must
cross this bridge.
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
Eugenia: I command you as Queen of the FIRSTers to stand aside!
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.
Eugenia: So be it!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[Eugenia chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
Eugenia: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
Eugenia: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
Eugenia: Well, what's that then?
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
Eugenia: You liar!
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[Eugenia chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
Eugenia: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
[hah]
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
Eugenia: What?
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
Eugenia: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
Eugenia: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
Eugenia: Look!
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
[bang]
Eugenia: Look, stop that.
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
Eugenia: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
[whop]
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I'll do you for that!
Eugenia: You'll what?
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Come 'ere!
Eugenia: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
Eugenia: You're a loony.
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs!
Have at you! Come on then.
[whop]
[Eugenia chops the BLACK KNIGHT's other leg off]
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: All right; we'll call it a draw.
Eugenia: Come, Patsy.
Barry as BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you.
I'll bite your legs off!

[Elgin Clock]

If a Barry falls in the courtyard in the middle of Championships, and no one but Genia is around, does he still make a sound?