College Apps and FIRST

[santosh]

Hi, I am applying for Emory University this year and they ask for a personal statement. One of the things I want to talk about is my involvement in FIRST robotics and its effect on the community. Does anyone have any pointers about how to go about doing this. I am having a hard time doing this since I feel the need to lay a back drop story on what FIRST and all of that kind of stuff.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Richard Wallace]

Emory is a great school, in a great city.

You might also want to consider Georgia Tech -- but I'm showing my alumni bias ... back to topic.

I think one of your best sources to draw on for college app material would be found in three consecutive Peachtree Regional winning CA submissions.

[KenWittlief]

is this a format they asked you to follow, or something you came up with on your own?

When my daughter applied for the FIRST scholarship at NorthEastern they asked her to write a short essay about herself and her involvement in FIRST.

She wrote mainly about two things, how her involvement in the team grew over the 3 years that she was a member, and an interaction she had with a young girl who was a spectator at an exposition match during her last year. My daughter was the team driver during her last year, and when the young girl (~12) realized a girl was controlling the robot she suddenly became very interested.

My daughter did not get the official FIRST scholarship from NE, but they offered her a full scholarship anyway.

I would say to keep your essay on a personal level. Talk about yourself, how you have changed and grown. People who are evaluating candidates are interested in 4 things:

Situation: what was the situation you were in. Was it a big successful team, or a small floundering team, well established or rookie, big corporate sponsor or meeting in someones garage....

Task: what was your task on the team? what things were you personally responsible for

Approach: What was your approach? did you wing it by the seat of your pants, did you look to mentors for guidance? Did you follow a process or make things up as you went along?

Results: what was the result of your involvement? Did things go as planned? did your team go down in flames? was it a positive experience for the people involved? Did you see peoples lives changed or altered as a result of the efforts of the team?

These four things are easy to remember: interviewers are looking for a STAR to be a part of their organization (university student body, clubs, teams, employees....)

For the community services part of this, if you can tell how your involvement on the team directly benefitted specific individuals your essay will have far more impact than general statments like: we showed the robot to 3rd graders on science day, or we were in a parade....

also, keep in mind that talking about yourself is not egotistical in this case, because you were part of the community, and FIRST reached out to you and altered your life. That is the experience you are most qualified to talk about.

[Liz Smith]

The person who reads your personal statement will have either heard of FIRST or, they haven't (and Emory being a school in Atlanta... hopefully they have). Either way, I think they are looking for more about your experience with the program, rather than a complete background of FIRST. I would keep the background information to a minimum and make sure you focus on how it affected you.

[Cynette]

Originally Posted by Pika1579

Either way, I think they are looking for more about your experience with the program, rather than a complete background of FIRST. I would keep the background information to a minimum...

I agree that you do not need to give up much of your precious essay space for the background on FIRST, you can just give a reference to the USFIRST web site if it would make you feel more comfortable that you have provided a reference point.

Originally Posted by Pika1579

...and make sure you focus on how it affected you.

And on how you used FIRST to impact others. Colleges want students who are there to give as well as take, so it is good to show that whatever experiences FIRST gave to you, you used them to give to others.

Most importantly, let YOU shine through in the essay! Not all colleges are looking only for Stars, most are looking for students who can add something to the student body. "Diamonds in the Rough" are high in demand also!

[JaneYoung]

To add to what has been wisely suggested, you might give some thought to conveying that your experience with FIRST will continue to impact your life as you grow into adulthood. Possibly in areas of major, career choice(s), mentoring, teamwork, project management.
Good luck during this stressful but wonderful time of your life.
Jane

[santosh]

Thank you all for your help. I knew I came to the right place. I think this has cleared up most of my confusion on how to do this. Thanks. Any other help would be appreciated.

Originally Posted by Richard

You might also want to consider Georgia Tech -- but I'm showing my alumni bias ... back to topic.

Trust me, I am torn lol. Out of our past 3 years, I would say that we have graduated about 60 seniors. Only 5 have NOT gone to Georgia Tech. Not to mention that Tech is my home for 6 precious weeks out of the year.

I am not sure that Emory knows about FIRST robotics. And also my problem is consolidating this into possibly a half page essay. I may be able to write it as my 3 page essay.

My mentor was thinking about having me prepare a little page long summary of what FIRST is and how students who participate in it show most of the qualities that colleges are looking for and then have me put it out there for anyone to tag along with their appliations. What do you all think?

[KenWittlief]

Generalizations about FIRST and its impact on students are great, but you must keep in mind, you are applying for admission to a University - they want to know about you!

[JaneYoung]

This is my opinion only - I'm sure others will chime in as well -
1. I think you can condense what you need to say in 1/2 page.
I had an English teacher in highschool that made me write, then write, then write again. By the 3rd draft, all the extra was out. That might be a good approach to the 1/2 page. What do you want your reader to know about you?

2. Your mentor's suggestion is a good one. A white paper developed by you would be awesome. Before submitting, send it out in draft form and final form to 2 or 3 people via PM or email and get them to critique and look for errors. Fresh eyes are always good. Don't be intimidated, ask.

3. When making decisions, trust your self. Nothing is set in stone. Cover all your bases, seeking advice as you need it, and when the time comes, make your decision. You are prepared.