It hurts to exclude people from the team, but...

[JBotAlan]

Hey all,

We recently had a student join our team that did not fit in. I wanted him to be on the team because I thought it would be good for him, but it turned out wrong--members made fun of him because he does not fit the stereotype most of the kids on our team fit into, and he left the team. I want to welcome *everyone* that comes to the team, but I don't know what to do in this case. I tried to defend the poor guy, but some of the other members were...less than welcoming.

So how would you handle it if someone that's not an overachiever joined your team? There is obviously a tendency to resist someone who is not like you, but we need a diverse team, and until we can welcome someone that's not a nerd, I don't think we're really successful in our recruiting. How do you get past that? I'm accepting and patient by nature, but I can't say the same for some of the other members.

Help.

JBot

[woody]

That is a real problem. Unfortunately not everyone will always be as accepting and reasonable as you. I think the best thing you can do is try to explain to everyone that any good team needs many different people with different strengths; unfortunately I am afraid your teammates only see this student's weak points and not his strengths that he could offerthe team. Maybe he is great at writing or has a good artistic eye. Other stuff can be learned in time. Focus on helping him use his gifts and talents to benefit the team as well as helping to improve on any weaknesses - there's no reason why students can be mentors for fellow students.

The fact is, EVERYONE has a place in FIRST. Unfortunately, some people think only the "geeks" or "geniuses" can join... this is a real detriment to the entire FIRST community. Everyone who joins who doesn't fit this mold helps to break down barriers and destroy prejudices in FIRST itself and in the greater community. Don't give up on this kid, maybe having just one friend on the team will give him the confidence and desire to keep going. You may make a huge difference in his life.

[savage301]

Well if someone joins the team and people make them feel like an outsider, I would help that person as much as possible. Show them around and get them interested in a certain area. Let them learn about whatever they chose and they will surprise people. The rest of the team will see how hard they are willing to work and will hopefully respect that. Everyone has their own talents, you just need to help keep their spirits up until they find it. Then they should be just fine.

[bigboi146]

I think that you should have a meeting with the existing members on the team. You should tell them what they did was wrong and it shouldnt happen again. If I felt welcome somewhere I would continue to come if not I wouldnt. Its that simple.

[Liz Smith]

I think that one of the great things about FIRST is that there are so many aspects of the competition that one can be a part of. As a leader, and now a mentor of a teams, I actively encouraged the acceptance of each and every person especially if they displayed an interest in participating. Some people won't fit in as well, and may be made fun of or disliked, but I feel that it is very important to have as many different types of on a team as possible. There are so many different areas in which one can be a part of the team, that a potential member who may not know anything about how electonics work, or who doesn't know about the differences between steel and aluminum should be able to become an active participant. You may even find that this person has some hidden talent that may be beneficial, such as good organizational skills, or great artistic ablilities. Additionally, I believe that the team should embrace newcomers and be able to teach them some of the basics. It's a shame to see people who have interest not staying with the team because people were mean. I think its the team who needs to realize that they need to be mature and professional about the situation. They wouldn't make fun of team members if a FIRST judge was standing over them with a pen and a clipboard, why should they be able to do it while working in the shop or classroom?

[tdlrali]

We have some people on our team that were less appreciated by other members at first, mostly of their attitude and behavior. So I guess this is the same scenario.

I think the best thing to do is to be patient and to show them that you appreciate what they do good. Try to get the other members to do the same.

This worked in our case, most of the "problem cases" turned out to be great guys/gals and are really helpful.

So yes, patience is the the way to go.

[Mike]

I'd say that you have a long talk with the people who made him feel like he didn't belong.

[JBotAlan]

Thanks for all your responses. I will talk to him. It's too late for this year--applications have closed--but I can try next year. I already had a huge influence on him, and I did talk with some of the kids torturing him, but he still left...I'll work on him, like I do everyone else!

JBot

[sanddrag]

FIRST isn't about fitting in.

I think this spotlight by M. Krass does a wonderful job of explaining this situation

While one student may not be of much value to the team, do we ever stop to think about how much value the team may be to that student?

[JBotAlan]

Originally Posted by sanddrag

FIRST isn't about fitting in.

I think this spotlight by M. Krass does a wonderful job of explaining this situation

Whoa. Nice quote (though I know it's not yours, lol). I'm not worried anymore. I need to get this kid back.

Thanks for your advice.

JBot

Whatever you do, make sure you go out and talk to him. Having been that kid who's outcasted, nothing hurts more than walking away because you weren't accepted, and having no one stop you from leaving. So whatever you do, include him in any way possible, like maybe ask him for ideas on things you're working on for the team. If he can't be officially on the team, bring him in in any way you can find. And good job for being the one with guts enough to include those that don't always agree.

[JamesBrown]

If any one on your team thinks that a team of "Over achievers" or "Nerds" is what the team needs to be or even should be then they are certainly mistaken. While FIRST has its fair share of nerds I can't see a team of just nerds being any where near the best solution. Some one with hands on experience, a desire to try something, and a willingness to learn is more valuable to a team than any "nerd" that the team will find. Last year team 1568 graduated Many students in the top 10% of the class, however we also graduated students right in the middle, and even a student in the bottom 10%. I regularly worked with people I would never have talked to if it wasn't for robotics. Whoever your captain is really needs to step in and work things out.

Also talk to the mentors, I am sure they can make an exception for the application deadline for this case. If the students who had a problem with the new member can manage to learn how to work side by side with some one who doesn't "fit in" with them then they will have learned a lesson this year that is infinitely more valuable than any thing they will learn about science, engineering or robotics. Never in the real world will you work in a team where every one is just like you, unless the members of your team learn that now, they will quickly be passed by more open minded peers.

FIRST is not about building robots, it is about building people, the robots are just a good way to get the people there.

[Jimmy Cao]

Ya, that is a problem. I myself am guilty of not welcoming everyone on the team. Especially because I'm part of a rather large team, it becomes a rather large problem. I guess it's a great skill to have to be able to accept and work with everyone, but unfortunately most people don't have it. I myself am a hard person to work with, and i am being very hypocritical when i reject others. Unfortunately it's a part of human nature, which is imperfect.

I think it would be a good idea for you to try to talk to all the students individually, and ask them to try to respect and work with students that don't seem to fit in. I don't know how much it will do, because teenagers tend to be very impatient with others.

It's unfortunate, but I don't know how much can be done about it. It would be a wonderful issue to fix, but it's difficult...

[Cuog]

Your team sounds like they need a strong talking to about what FIRST and Gracious Professionalism are all about. Every team should be open to accepting as many people as possible and is of course important to prepare everyone possible for future careers. In addition to being a preparation, its also intended to inspire kids into fields of science and technology, I don't think that shunning someone from FIRST is the best way to inspire them with Science and Technology.

[efoote868]

here here, cuog.

I would like to say that we had a kid on our team last year who some people disliked, and most people flat out couldn't stand him. Because we based our team so much around GP, we all kept our mouths shut, and were polite to him. The mentor finally kicked him off the team for other various reasons... but I would like to note that he didn't leave because we were disrespectful/mean to him.

These situations do prove to be very difficult, but everyone needs to act like adults, use GP, and be accommodating to anyone.