I've got it figured out!!!

[Andy Grady]

With christmas season well underway, I decided to look for a gift for my father yesterday at the malls around Manchester, NH. Having heard him exclaim "I want that!" after watching a commercial for the Black and Decker "Autowrench" I figured that it was a pretty cake present to get.

With this knowledge, I ventured out into the shopping haven that is South Willow street in Manchvegas. My first stop...Sears. As you know, Sears has always been an excelent place to find good tools pretty cheap, so I figured that they would be a slam dunk for the Autowrench. I searched high and low, and found absolutely nothing. Not even a trace of any sort of motorized wrench.

With this, I carried on to the next location...Wally World (Wal-Mart). Once again, upon arriving at Wally World, I found many different types of really cool Black and Decker tools. I even saw a motorized Seat Clamp (which I was drooling over immensely)...but yet again...no Autowrench.

Next stop...Target! AHA! They also have loads of motorized Black and Decker tools! Including...whats this?!?!...a place in the rack where the Autowrenches WERE. Excited at my finding, I went up to the clerk and asked her if they may have some in the back. She checked and found that the nearest Autowrench was about 45 minutes away in Nashua NH...and there were only a couple left.

Have no fear...there is a Lowes next door! I stop in, figuring that no one EVER goes to the Lowes in Bedford. Once again, evidence of Black and Decker tools, and evidence that the Autowrench was there at one time...but NOOOOO Autowrench. Upon talking to a clerk, he informed us that they had sold out a week ago, and that if we were lucky, we might be able to grab the last one about an hour away in Epping, NH.

Sadly...I gave up on my dream of getting my dad the perfect Christmas present...

Now...you may be asking...what the heck does this have to do with FIRST?

Well...this whole experience of driving around from spot to spot, looking for a particular item, finding evidence at every store with none of the item I am looking for in sight...it reminded me of something.

It reminded me of last January when i spent a whole sunday and a tank of gas looking for Poof Balls all around the state of New Hampshire.

Then...it hit me.

Kickoff is just a couple of weeks away!

Is it coincidence that, as the biggest date of game piece distribution of the year draws near, there are absolutely NO Autowrenches anywhere in sight?

Lets think about this logically for a minute...its a silly automated adjustable wrench! For 25 dollars less and the ability to wiggle your thumb, you can have a perfectly good adjustable wrench that DOESNT NEED BATTERIES! THERE IS NO WAY THAT THIS MANY DADS OUT THERE WANT A BLACK AND DECKER AUTOWRENCH.

After realizing this and thinking about the evidence I have come to the conclusion that...

Ladies and gentleman, THE SECRET IS OUT! THE 2007 FEATURED GAME PIECE IS NONE OTHER THAN...

A BLACK AND DECKER AUTOWRENCH!!!!

You can't fool me Game Design Committee! I have been around wayyyy to long for you to slip this one past me. And now the people will know!

::ahem::

Happy Hollidays