Funny things teachers/professors have said

[Psychoflood]

Lead Mentor: "Remember, if the dog didn't stop to pee he wouldn't have been hit by the tree."

we're still not quite sure what this means.

[Robo_Cat_379]

Teacher: it is exactly the same but completily diffrent

[Dan Petrovic]

Yesterday during my french exam, my teacher stood up and said "Is anyone cheating? Raise your hand if you are cheating. No one's cheating? Good." and sat back down.

I guess it's under their list of things to do during exams. "Make sure students aren't cheating"

Also, a while ago, in a geometry class. One girl and one guy got in a little play arguement and they both stood up as if they were about to fight. The teacher said to the guy "Sit down before you start crying"

[d4nowar]

AP US History teacher last year: It is my job to impregnate women.

Yay for taking quotes out of context. =D

[Mister_Juggles]

My Latin teacher was trying to come up with a sentence for us to translate into latin, using different grammatical thingys that we had learned recently. He wrote this on the board: "Dahlia est faster that this faster." After fixing the sentence, which took a while, he said "Okay kids, remember why we don't do crack."

[raymaniac]

My bio teacher: "Yesterday I couldn't spell 'amino acids'. Today I are an expert in 'amino acids'." (Replace 'amino acids' with whatever we're studying, he does it for every topic)(it was kind of funny when we studied DNA)

Also my bio teacher: "There's a reson for everything I do. Sometimes it just takes a while to figure out what it is"

[sheltie234]

Student: "Uh, Mr. B... I'm completely lost"

Teacher: "Really? You’re in room 53 of Perry Meridian Middle School on Meridian School Road in Indianapolis, IN of the United States on the planet Earth in the Milky Way Galaxy on the border of the Alpha and Beta quadrants."

Student: "Yeah... but back to Algebra..."


Pre-Calc teacher: "Does anyone know what P(x,y) is? It's between 3 and 4." dealing with the unit circle

Student: "Is it... uh... pi?"

Teacher: "Yes, do you know why?"

Student: "Is it because..."

Teacher: "Correct!"


U.S. History teacher: "Does anyone know when we know the war with Iraq is over?"

Student: "When all of the troops are out?"

Teacher: "No, silly! It's when you'll be able to buy a car made in Iraq!"


Orchestra teacher: "Get the f in tune!!"

There are tons more, but these are all that I can remember for today

[Al Skierkiewicz]

Originally Posted by raymaniac

My bio teacher: "Yesterday I couldn't spell 'amino acids'. Today I are an expert in 'amino acids'." (Replace 'amino acids' with whatever we're studying, he does it for every topic)(it was kind of funny when we studied DNA)

Also my bio teacher: "There's a reson for everything I do. Sometimes it just takes a while to figure out what it is"

This is a contraction of one of my favorites...Before I couldn't even spell engineer, now I are one. (spoken with an appropriate accent)