The text looks better
The more prominant 'shadow smoke' thing going on in the black version is really nice.
Too much space!!
It should be as compact as possible while still keeping it's cool.
On lighter backgrounds, you should definately make a version where the oval has a black outline. If anything, thicker outlines on both the text and oval.
You may want to actually want to go ahead and make two versions which cater to both backgrounds for future use.
FYI, as for shirts, unless you get a good (albiet expensive) printshop, they will probably ask for all solid colors.
Defiinately an improvement in my opinion! Just a few changes and it can be DEADLY.
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Adrian
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Freelance artist, college bound engineer, loving father.
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2007 Wisconsin Regional XEROX Creativity Award and
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