Programming jokes

[Spencer E.]

Since we're all getting frustated/stressed/excited with our programming, I thought it'd be fun to post some programming jokes to lighten the mood. I'll start off. This one comes from a friend of mine:

if(time == hammer)
stop();

(If anyone doesn't get it, don't be afraid to ask )

[geeknerd99]

Wielding only a mouse and keyboard, living off Ramen and Mountain Dew, our brave hero and his team begins the daunting 6-week siege against the mighty C monster.

It got to the point where I walked in on one guy on my team constantly compiling the same thing over and over again. When I asked him why, he told me, "I love seeing the words "BUILD SUCCEEDED". I'm banking up the number of sucessful builds I have to make up for all the syntax errors I'll get later."

[crafty]

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They'll just say it's a hardware problem.

[thegathering]

True story: There's a kid in the programming class below us that really looked up to us in terms of style and skill. One day, I decided to search the network drive from another classroom and take a look at this kid's code to see how he was doing.

I start looking through the source and I see variable names: Ben, Pat, Robert, Tsui....

I almost screamed in horror when I realized he was programming using our names as variables!!!!

Talk about creepy. To say the least, we yelled at him for awhile and he no longer makes variable names named after us....

[Bomberofdoom]

Murphy's Law.

No matter how many times you scream "I've got it now! Last time, it has to work now!!!!" after trying to fix a code you've written for 3 hours after 2 AM in the morning, you'll always get a syntax error and an insanly angry mentor waiting for you to finish.

Oh, and the best part is, that after you fustrastedly(spelled right?) work on the code the whole night till dawn, you're friend comes at 9 AM, takes the keyboard for 2 minutes, mabye does one more fix to what he wrote and the code works.

obviously a true story case. 3 times in a row. Ouch.

[Spencer E.]

Originally Posted by thegathering

True story: There's a kid in the programming class below us that really looked up to us in terms of style and skill. One day, I decided to search the network drive from another classroom and take a look at this kid's code to see how he was doing.

I start looking through the source and I see variable names: Ben, Pat, Robert, Tsui....

I almost screamed in horror when I realized he was programming using our names as variables!!!!

Talk about creepy. To say the least, we yelled at him for awhile and he no longer makes variable names named after us....

Wow, that is kind of creepy o_O. I'm glad no one looks up to me , well most people have to look up to me physically since I've over 6 feet tall, but enough with the technicalities.

[Spencer E.]

Originally Posted by Bomberofdoom

Murphy's Law.

No matter how many times you scream "I've got it now! Last time, it has to work now!!!!" after trying to fix a code you've written for 3 hours after 2 AM in the morning, you'll always get a syntax error and an insanly angry mentor waiting for you to finish.

That sounds very familiar. I hate those late programming nights only to find out it was only a hardware error

[EricS-Team180]

Originally Posted by Bomberofdoom

Oh, and the best part is, that after you fustrastedly(spelled right?) work on the code the whole night till dawn, you're friend comes at 9 AM, takes the keyboard for 2 minutes, mabye does one more fix to what he wrote and the code works.

obviously a true story case. 3 times in a row. Ouch.

which reminded me of:

C's motto: who cares what it means? I just compile it!
- The Top 10 Ways to get screwed by the "C" programming language (#9)

[chris31]

Originally Posted by thegathering

True story: There's a kid in the programming class below us that really looked up to us in terms of style and skill. One day, I decided to search the network drive from another classroom and take a look at this kid's code to see how he was doing.

I start looking through the source and I see variable names: Ben, Pat, Robert, Tsui....

I almost screamed in horror when I realized he was programming using our names as variables!!!!

Talk about creepy. To say the least, we yelled at him for awhile and he no longer makes variable names named after us....

I had a friend who named a counter that went from 1-10, "midget". Needless to say the teacher got mad because it isnt a meaningful name and she thought it was inappropriate.

[kevin.li.rit]

The robot's too heavy, take out some code.

[meatmanek]

A few mentors from another team came to our pits today and were asking about how our pickup mechanism works.

Me: "This wheel spins and causes the tube to rotate up. When the tube hits this switch, the program opens up the grabber and raises the elevator to the selected height. Then when the driver gets to the goal, this IR sensor..."

Other team's mentor: "Hey, did you hear that word he used? Sensor!"

[efoote868]

(random guy at ms) Mr. Gates, Mr. Gates, It Compiled!!!
(gates) Ship it!

(whenever our code compiles without a syntax error, thats the first thing I say)

----

"It Works" = 'A'

[mtaman02]

Everything on this robot needs to lose weight, I don't care what you gotta do to get it off just lose the weight, start with the code and work your way back to the hardware.

[Doug Leppard]

You may have to be an assembly level programmer to appreciate this. This all has to do with registers.


A programmer's cheer:

Shift to the left
Shift to the right
push down
pop up
byte byte byte

[Qbranch]

What do computers eat for a snack?

Computer chips! (so its a bad joke.... whatever)

Fixing hardware issues in software... like for instance one motor not having any set screws on the elevator.... or the gear ratio on the traction motors being to fast to be controlled.... priceless!

-q