FAHA: Mentor + Team problems

[Bharat Nain]

The following is an anonymous response.

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Dear Anonymous,

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

At one time or another, almost every one of us has experienced what you say is happening with you. We all get dirty looks, treated unfairly, and our efforts go unappreciated. What separates self esteem and contentment from anguish and despair is how each of us deals with it. For some it rolls like water off a duck, while others get their feelings crushed.

You are at an age when it’s time to decide where you fit in. Are you going to let them get you down, or will you accept the things you cannot change?

It’s all a matter of perception. Sometimes a dirty look is like a baby’s smile, not really an emotion, but caused by gas. What matters is that you know you are a “go-to” guy. What doesn’t matter is what you think you know about what others think of you.

So, the best that you can do is all that you can do. If others fail to notice, then that’s their failure, not yours. If others are arrogant and self centered, then that’s their hang-up, not yours.

Do not try so hard to please them. Please yourself instead.


Regards,
Old enough to know the difference.

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FIRST-a-holic Anonymous mailbox is a place to share your concern and frustration about your FIRST experience anonymously. It is the perfect place if you just want someone to listen, or ask for advice when you don’t know what to do. Submit your letters today at the FIRST-a-holic anonymous mailbox forum. If you wish to respond to this thread anonymously, please PM Beth or Bharat with your response and thread title.

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[JaneYoung]

It may be time to do some self assessment.

Not in the manner of - I do this for the team - but in the manner of - how do I conduct myself? How do I present my ideas? How do I enter a meeting that is already in process? How do I conduct myself in other aspects of my life - school, student groups, with friends and family, in my job?

Leadership isn't something that is picked up and put down as a tool. To me, leadership is the engine. Tools such as wisdom, encouragement, knowledge and how they are used - are what keeps the engine humming, running smoothly. The lubricants are humility, respect, friendliness, support.

In leadership, you aren't necessarily just leading others, you are leading yourself as well.

The immediate thought is what FIRST asks of mentors and of students. To work together. To find ways to work together. A good mentor always wants to train, to share knowledge, to help the student develop and grow. To inspire. For this to happen, the student has to be receptive, open to learning what the mentor is trying to teach/role model. Often, students and mentors are bridging the gaps of generations, eras of development, cultures, educational backgrounds, personality differences, and tiredness.

Assess your self and what you have contributed to the situation that has brought you to this point. Think about it. Ask your mentor for an opportunity to discuss where you have come to a cross in the road and see how best to get back on track and centered.