I will no longer be doing FIRST¡K

[archiver]

Posted by Carrie at 05/25/2001 3:30 PM EST


Student on team #27, Team Rush, from OSMTech Academy and Textron.


In Reply to: I will no longer be doing FIRST¡K
Posted by Ken Leung on 05/25/2001 11:18 AM EST:




Good Luck Ken!
The FIRST community will truely miss you!
~~~~~Carrie


: I will no longer be doing FIRST with a team this coming year. Sorry if the title is a little misdirecting. ;-)

: During the three years in this competition, I¡¦ve had the privilege of working with some of the best students and adults in the Gunn Robotics Team #192. Because of GRT and every single member of that team, I grew up from a quiet stupid kid who doesn¡¦t know and doesn¡¦t care about the world around him into the person I am today. I am extremely grateful for the chance GRT gave me to learn through the FIRST competition, and I thank them for that. The 2001 competition is the best year I have in this competition because I was able to spend it with GRT 2001.

: However, the experience with GRT 2001 is also the reason why I am determined to quit that team. I am able to decide my path of life (as of now) because of that experience.

: Well, turns out maintaining a relationship with a team far away is harder than I thought. Second semester of college started and I began my life of going back and forth between Berkeley and Palo Alto (home town) through 3 hours of public transportation with a 30 lbs bag. Because of classes and schoolwork, I had to miss 4 days of production per week. Instead of a regular member I became an advisor who concentrate on teaching the students tools operation I learned. Although I was working closely with students, deep inside my heart I knew there are distances between us. I made friends with many of the students, but the bonding was never close. This is more apparent when competition came, because I pulled myself out of the pit so that others can learn. Even though I as cheering with the team, I felt more like an outsider because of being driver and pit crew at 2001. I ended up spending more time with other teams than with GRT at the competition¡K

: Working with the team took a lot of my school time, which I could¡¦ve used to take full advantage of Berkeley, or meet different students from all over the country. I didn¡¦t do too well in school this semester, and I even feared that I would be kicked out (which I can only blame myself for this, but still¡K). I took an impact academically because I was so dedicated with the team during competition. The amount of stress also caused a health problem so serious that I don¡¦t want to risk it again¡K

: As much as I want to work in a well-organized machine shop doing the same thing all over again, I would rather face unknown challenges with different people at different place. I realized that I should make room for new comers, instead of spoiling myself in a comfortable place. I felt the need of meeting other people and going to different places, to experience FIRST in a bigger sense. Posting on this forum and meeting other people at National gave a boost to these feelings; the trip to kick off let me see the big picture of what FIRST do¡K I¡¦ve grown up to a point where I feel that experience and knowledge I gain from the team and this forum can be used in a greater level, instead of being advices to one single team. I want to make a differences in a bigger circle, I want to meet different teams and share their view of FIRST, I want to help FIRST do what it¡¦s doing to the students, I want to grow up¡K

: When I told my team that I am going to kick myself out, they half joked about how I don¡¦t need to grow up. I was laughing with them at the time, but deep inside I didn¡¦t like that comment. Do they see me as not capable of growing up? Do they doubt that I actually have a wish of being someone better? I know my team is only joking about it, but it triggered my wish to go away. Where I am going to I don¡¦t know. I just need a hard stop to cut myself out, so I already took all my tools back from the shop, and after this post I am going to restrict myself from going in there randomly sorting tools for them (what I used to do when I was still deeply attached)¡K

: I understand all these feelings came from the fact that people at my age tends to search for their place in society, and their way of life before they become adults; that I need to prove myself in a bigger crowd and need to do something more challenging. But what¡¦s wrong with that? I am simply following the process. I see FIRST as a step stone on my journey to becoming who I want to be, not the goal of life¡K

: WELL¡K with all that said¡K I still have to admit that I enjoyed the 2001 competition with GRT very much! I sound so negative above because I have to vent something off my chest and sort through my mind. This year is a unique experience that I will always remember and benefit from. In case any GRT member read this, which I doubt, I hope that you don¡¦t feel offended because of what I said. GRT made me the person I am today, and I can¡¦t thank GRT enough for that¡K

: Good Bye, Team 192 with the red hairs¡K

: I know that FIRST-a-holic¡¦s like myself are going to continue their FIRST experience despite all the negativity from this post, so I am not worry that this message will be discouraging people from following their heart¡K