"Quotes" that were said during build season

[FRC4ME]

"If anyone believes a significant discrepancy to exist between a speaker’s and listener’s interpretation of a single statement, he or she may require both parties, beginning with the speaker, to restate their interpretations of the statement using the most explicit, unambiguous language possible, with reconciliation of the interpretations to follow if they are found to differ." - The Clarity Clause

In a shop full of nuts, screws, springs, balls, rods, and wood, too many "that's what she said" jokes were interfering with our ability to get work done, so I instituted this. Basically, if you make an innuendo and get called on it, you have to publicly state to the rest of the team exactly what you meant in the most explicit terms you can think of. After this, the sex jokes stopped almost instantly.

[archer003]

One of our mentors is Russian. "In the soviet Russia, Computer program you!"

"When in doubt, zip-tie it."

"Guys, why is there a statue on the robot?"

"He destoryed one of the old bots again!"

"If you hear the robot tick, Pyro-boy was doing the wiring."

"Why are the Jaguars upside down?"

"GUYS! THE SOLDERING IRON IS ON THE FLOOR!" "Teacher won't like that..."

and best of all:
Programming Mentor: "The light isn't blinking, theres no connection! All the wires are plugged in, WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?"
Me: "Because I haven't turned it on yet."
PM: "Oh. Alright, lets do it."

[AcesJames]

"If we have to stay the whole night to finish programming the robot, I call dibs on napping in the deflated trackball."

Builder #1 - "It won't fit, it needs a bigger hole"
Builder #2 - "Alright, I'll get the Red Baron"
(The Red Baron is our power drill)

"Why do we have a red microwave named Mother Russia?"

"Who put a label on the label maker?"

"Yeah, we named the development platform Debbie"

[_Tanto_]

J "whats wolfman alpha"

E "you've never heard of the WA"

J "ya thats y i ask"

T "its how i do my homework"

J "you dont do your homework"

T "yaaa...."

[ChrisP]

No no, thats under advanced mates, your only intermediate at solidworks, you cant do that yet.

[Cody Michl 2811]

[[the main quote]]

1. Me: HEY EVERYONE!!!

I won't be saying 'That's what she said' or posting a bunch of useless crap on CD if YOU CALL ME CHIP!!!!

(so far only one person's gone for it...)

[The Megan 2207]

Apparently we needed to borrow a motor from a previous robot to do some testing, but we were too lazy to actually remove it from the robot so we had to connect the two bots. This was the conversation preceding that event:

Mentor 1: We're going to mate some robots now.
Everyone: [Assorted responses of "WHAT?" or "HUH?" or "...like with CAD, or in real life?"]
Mentor 1: If you're curious, come and see.
Student: ...I think the real question is if the ROBOTS are curious...

As many of the students were leaving to see the robots mate:

Mentor 2: When you're done with that, come back here and we'll talk about these screws and how they went wrong!

[thatoneguy23]

"We know we have a good machine. The soccer ball hit him in the face and now his lip is bleeding."

[Egg 3141592654]

"Wow this is a really nice joystick, it's a pain to code (all axis are really messed up) and it doesn't center well, but who cares, IMMA FIGHTER PILOT PEW PEW!" *robot drives into wall*

"This code is epic," I say, "That's why it doesn't work."

"WHERE'S MY JDK AND WHY DID IT GO AWAY!!!!!" "Calm down, we have pizza." *I go to get a slice of pizza to find an empty box* "NOW MY PIZZA IS MISSING, MY LIFE IS EVAPORATING!"

[The Megan 2207]

CAD student: Umm... does anyone know what a .vi file is? There's one on this flash drive and I don't know what it is.
Me: That's for our programming.
CAD student: Oh, good! I thought it was some kind of virus or something.
Me: No, .vi does NOT stand for "virus."
CAD student: Phew!

[Phoenix Spud]

Me to a mentor: You have had a bunch of Chief Delphi-isms tonight.

[FRC4ME]

"What if the sun is moving at like light speed, and the Earth is moving at like light speed, and that's why it makes the ellipses around the Sun, and then if we slowed the Sun down, we would age slower."

-One of our student's discussing his knowledge of special relativity

[Vermeulen]

(Discussing robot names)
Me: "Well, Casper kinda counts as a girl's name, since it's of indiscriminate gender"
Jon (just entering the conversation): "No, he's white!"

[MARS_James]

Erin: Awesome I have my own category of joke!
Shane: That isn't a good thing Erin.
Erin: Hey the only thing worse then being talked about is not being talked about.

[Argon27]

"Ow! I just poked myself in the eye with my safety glasses!"