Misc. Hilarious Quotes

[MikeFromTeam71]

gene: "can i just say one thing?"

bruce: "say it baby, just say it."

gene: "im staring here at rock legend bruce dickenson."

bruce: "the c*** of the walk baby."

gene: "and if bruce dickenson wants more cowbell, we should probably give him more cowbell."

bruce: "say it baby."

gene: "and bobby you are right, i am being selfish. but the last time i checked we dont have a whole lot of songs that feature the cowbell."

bruce: "i gotta have more cowbell baby."

gene: "and i would be doing myself a dis-service and every member of this band if i didnt perform the heck out of this!"

bruce: "guess what, i got a fever, and the only prescription, is more cowbell."


its all about having 4 episodes of snl jeopardy, tv funhouse: bambi 2002, and blue oyster cult in mpeg format on your laptop

i was sitting in my room last night watchin tv and thought it would be interesting to have a thread about funny quotes from all over the place (simpsons, snl, etc.). so help out and add a few.

[FotoPlasma]

"THANK GOD IT LANDED IN THAT SMOKING CRATER!"
--Police Chief Wiggum

[Rob Colatutto]

from tonights simpsons:
warden: he painted a unicorn is space, whats he breathing?
homer: air?
warden: theres no air in space
homer: theres an air and space museam

"My mom was a b**** too, but you never saw me write any songs about it." ------Triumph the insult comic dog, refering to his eminem encounter at the 2002 VMA's

[MBiddy]

Smithers! Use the amnesia ray!

You mean the revolver?

Precisely! And remember when you're done to use it on yourself!

[DUCKIE]

Heres a couple of my favorites....
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You know what they say if you fall off the horse... make duct tape pants and climb back on!
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Are you done w/ your paper?-
Yeah, I’m done.... done careing.-
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I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well.
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"You're only a kid once, but you can be immature forever"
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"I like long walks, especially when they are
taken by people that annoy me."
- Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pi**ed me off. Amen.
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"This one's so sick even I'm nervous." -Dean Kamen
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Sorry, those are just some of my favorites...

[Rob Ribaudo]

A quote that I found that I liked is,
"I know that the best things in life are free, but why do the next best things have to cost so much."

So much from the Simpson, but I'll only post one quote.
Homer Simpson: "To Start Press Any Key. Where's the ANY key? I see Esk, Catarl, and Pig-Up. There doesn't seem to be any ANY key. Woo! All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. Oh, no time for that. Computer starting!"

[bjammin64]

"90% of eerything is crud"

"A Smith&Wesson beats 4 aces"

"if it jams, force it. if it breaks, it needed replacing anyways"

"it is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money"

and my fav "there is never time to do it right, but there is always time to do it over"

-all by Murphy

[mtaman02]

From the movie MICHAEL


"remember sparky no matter what anyone tells you, you can never have to much sugar"

[Mike Schroeder]

Ok I know no one likes wrestling anymore

but my favorite quote would have to be a conversation between The Rock and Mankind


The Rock - well mankind you know what i am going to do is take this tag team title shine it up real nice turn that sumabi**h sideways and stick it up your candyarse

Mankind- Well Rock to tell you the truth I don't think it will fit

Also read Mick Foley's second book - Foley is Good: The Real World is Faker than Wrestling - gives reasons why Winne the Pooh and gang are the most disfunctional family ever (don't have the book and it is like a page long and i am lazy)

[sanddrag]

I think it's always funny how people say "it's as cheap as dirt". If you've ever taken a look at your local home or garden center, dirt is actually quite expensive.

[Michael Murphy]

"two wrongs are only the beginning"

"When all else fails, read the instructions"

"You can get ANYWHERE in ten minutes if you go fast enough"

" When in doubt, mumble.
When in trouble, delegate.
When in charge, ponder."

"Everything falls faster than an anvil. Examples too numerous to mention from the Roadrunner cartoons"

and most importantly...

"Murphy was an optimist"

[evulish]

"sweating like a pig" Uhh...too bad pigs can't sweat.
"I could care less" Ohh...so you do care!
mehh...

One of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite authors:

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
- Douglas Adams

That applies SO MUCH to robotics that it's not even funny.

[Andrew Rudolph]

one of my favorite lines from one of the first They Might be Giants Albums is

"If you hear only one song this year, there is somthing seriously wrong with you"

[FotoPlasma]

There're really too many quotations to post, but here's another of my favorites:

"I don't expect to achieve immortality through my work. I expect to achieve immortality through not dying."
--Woody Allen