The Butterfly Effect

[Akash Rastogi]

My point was to actually have David feel less guilty and also let his mentor know that not everyone on here judged anything about team 589. I hope that others on here feel the same way. Part of your mentor's disappointment may have sprouted from a concern that other teams and mentors might think less of 589 or something along those lines. Please let him know that this is not so and that he should not be worried about the team image or anything like that.

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David, don't worry too much about building up your relationship with your mentor again. It seems that he really cared about what you did, which sounds like he is a pretty caring individual. And by the way it sounds like from your post, the fact that you feel guilty about him being disappointed, the students on your team are very fond of him, meaning he is a great mentor. Great mentors don't hold grudges, and are usually the bigger people about things. He'll gain back respect for your programming abilities as long as you work hard as always. I wouldn't be too worried about that.

[Chris is me]

Originally Posted by Akash Rastogi

My point was to actually have David feel less guilty and also let his mentor know that not everyone on here judged anything about team 589. I hope that others on here feel the same way. Part of your mentor's disappointment may have sprouted from a concern that other teams and mentors might think less of 589 or something along those lines. Please let him know that this is not so and that he should not be worried about the team image or anything like that.

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Even if people say "oh, we won't judge your team", and some / many / all CDers don't consciously do it, this is absolutely not an attitude you should expect or assume from anyone. You are representing your team at all times, no matter how many disclaimers you put in your signature or how many times you tell people otherwise. David's mentor has a very good reason to be upset.

[GaryVoshol]

People have an idea of how others should act. Everyone forms their own opinion of what others say or do. It's just natural.

Sometimes that is based on the situation you are in - remember the furor over the "You lie" comment? Saying something at the wrong time or in the wrong place does reflect poorly on the individual.

If you are identified with a group of people, the actions of the individuals in that group reflect the entire group. We are so used to the political disclaimers on broadcasts, "The opinions of the participants do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this station, the management, blah blah blah." But that's legalese. What a person says does reflect on the company he keeps. That's why mom warned you about not hanging around with the "wrong crowd". That's why people dressed in uniform - whether that be of a team, a band, a military unit, the clergy - must always reflect the standards of the group to which they belong.

There are times that a leader of a group should be made known about the activities of one of the group. That way the leader can correct the behavior if necessary. A mentor can advise the mentee of what impression is being made by those comments, and why it is important to create the correct impression. If the mentor does nothing, he is not doing his job in being a good mentor. The mentee should not be concerned with losing the respect of the mentor, unless he does not respect the suggestion to change.

Yes, words can have a wide-ranging effect. In the Internship thread we were discussing the effect of words when a potential employer Googles the applicant. If those words indicate a bias or prejudice, or indicate a lack of ambition or work ethic, that candidate's chances go down very quickly.

[gblake]

As much as I would like to dive into the rabbit hole of individual_vs_team preaching (both are right and emphasizing either too much is a mistake); I will instead point us back at the original post, and the subject of contradictions that Jane raised.

The title of this thread is "The Butterfly Effect". However, I don't recall any butterflies in the situation that lead to this discussion. There were purposeful sledgehammers and grenades. Jane's point about contradictions is an important one. It deserves some serious thought.

Leave bad habits behind. Decide to improve. Choose a path to success.

Blake

[Jessica Boucher]

I forgive you. Now let's move on.