EricH has a good idea, go to an event and help out.
I'd like to suggest that you try to mentor a VRC, FTC, FLL team. I'm always inspired by what comes out of the younger roboteers. Maybe their inspiration will rub off
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Do you think its possible to change the attitudes of those who aren't happy and are hell-bent on improvement when we don't win?
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I'm not quite sure how to respond to this, since I'm one of my teams mentors that does that, all the time. (All the other mentors do it too, but I'm the most annoying about it) Everything we do can be improved. We pick a few things each year and we focus on improving them.
Building robots is hard, it takes a lot of work. We are not the best team out there but we do work hard, we do have fun and we are proud of what we accomplish. We are not a HOF team but I'll bet we have just as much fun as any other team. Fun is not where you find it but where you make it.
Good luck!