Fun With Telemarketers!

[Amanda Aldridge]

Now, now. I used to be a telemarketer. The worst 7 weeks of my life. I finally up and quit because I just couldn't deal with it anymore. And because the job that didn't have quotas when I started all of a sudden had quotas at my 60 day review, which I wasn't meeting. I have no idea if what I just said made any sense to anyone but me. Oh well.

Anyway, the only thing I really got out of that job, i've always said, were great new ways to torture telemarketers. See, at the place I worked, you were not allowed to hang up until the customer hung up. Period. The only way you could is if you called your supervisor over, and he/she terminated the call. Which could be difficult, seeing as the supervisors were all usually sitting around talking, and nowhere to be found in their bays, and you were attatched to this 3 foot long cord for your headset, and couldn't move outside of a 3 foot radius from your desk. So, here are my favorite ways to torture telemarketers:

Sing the ABCs -- i actually had someone do this to me. it was so funny. even though it was really annoying.

Tell them you will buy whatever it is they're selling -- if they sing a song with you, all the way to the end. When they agree, sing "This is the Song That Doesn't End."

Hum.

Talk to yourself. Pretend you're a schizophrenic(sp?) with Tourette's Syndrome.


Those are just a few. Believe me, I have more.