pic: Amanda and Dave

[MissInformation]

Originally Posted by KarenH

Hawaiian shirt + Hawaiian skirt + fishnet stockings = complete and total loss of dignity--for both Amanda and Dave.

Now hold on... this contest is grossly unfair... it completely favors Dave, giving poor Amanda little hope of winning. I suggest to even it out, we throw in something that Amanda is known for: THE CHICKEN DANCE!!!

So they'll have a Chicken Dance dance-off while wearing Hawaiin shirts and grass skirts with fishnet stockings...

We'll need some impartial judges for this contest, any volunteers?

Heidi

[Josh Hambright]

If this is at IRI, i will be a judge.

[Billfred]

If I weren't in Maine, I'd volunteer.

Will IRI be webcasted by someone? Muahaahaa.

[Josh Hambright]

I dont know about official webcasts yet, however it wouldn't surprise me in the least to find out there will be one. BUT I will say that there is a good chance if i can get an internet connection there will be a 'scorers table cam' up and running again like I had at BMR and MWR.

[Amanda Morrison]

Hang on... this whole thing has gotten grossly out of hand. I'll leave it to Dave to determine the final contest, but I really don't think he's going to go for some of these ideas.

Next you guys will suggest tutus and a ballet dance off... sheesh.

[dlavery]

Originally Posted by Amanda Morrison

Hang on... this whole thing has gotten grossly out of hand. I'll leave it to Dave to determine the final contest, but I really don't think he's going to go for some of these ideas.

Next you guys will suggest tutus and a ballet dance off... sheesh.

OK, I want everyone here to act as witnesses. Amanda specifically said "I'll leave it to Dave to determine the final contest" She did not place any other restrictions on the form or format of the contest. So I get to pick it, and then all that will be left is the determination of the winner.

So here is the challenge: 12 Krispy Kreme donuts at 20 paces! First to consume their dozen wins! *

-dave

* and here is the fine print: each contestant will be provided with 12 fresh Krispy Kreme donuts. At the sound of the starting gun, or a suitable alternate, each contestant must consume their provided commestibles. The contest will conclude when the first contestant has finished stuffing the last visible morsel of the donuts into their respective maws. Neither contestant may tickle, flog, poke, sneeze upon, or smell thier opponent. Non-contact tormenting of the opponent is not only permitted, it is encouraged - unless it involves singing Anthony Newley tunes, which is right out. The full portion of the consumed donuts must remain inside the contestant until at least the end of the contest. Regurgitation will cause disqualification. Inhibiting or preventing access to the opponent's donuts is prohibited. All leftover donuts may be used to stage a reinactment of The Battle of Sharpsburg.

[Bill Moore]

Originally Posted by dlavery

* and here is the fine print: each contestant will be provided with 12 fresh Krispy Kreme donuts. At the sound of the starting gun, or a suitable alternate, each contestant must consume their provided commestibles. The contest will conclude when the first contestant has finished stuffing the last visible morsel of the donuts into their respective maws. Neither contestant may tickle, flog, poke, sneeze upon, or smell thier opponent. Non-contact tormenting of the opponent is not only permitted, it is encouraged - unless it involves singing Anthony Newley tunes, which is right out. The full portion of the consumed donuts must remain inside the contestant until at least the end of the contest. Regurgitation will cause disqualification. Inhibiting or preventing access to the opponent's donuts is prohibited. All leftover donuts may be used to stage a reinactment of The Battle of Sharpsburg.

Certainly this post is a fake. The Curmudgeon of Spelling and Grammar would never make these errors.

[dlavery]

Originally Posted by Bill Moore

Certainly this post is a fake. The Curmudgeon of Spelling and Grammar would never make these errors.

My fingers were sticky, causing me to make a few typos. You see, I had Krispy Kreme glaze all over them, as I am already in training...

-dave

[Amanda Morrison]

Alright, Dave, game's on. You'd better start training now.

But you forgot to mention this, so I'll say it first- no documentation of this event is allowed OF ANY KIND. You may have lost your dignity, but I kinda like mine.

[dlavery]

Originally Posted by Amanda Morrison

Alright, Dave, game's on. You'd better start training now.

But you forgot to mention this, so I'll say it first- no filming of this event is allowed. You may have lost your dignity, but I kinda like mine.

Fine. No "FILMING" - but we can use all the video tape we want to record the event!!!!

-dave

<edit> and no fair post-editing your post to change the rules!!!!</edit>

[Chris Fultz]

Aye, me most certainly hopes this great battle does occurs on the field of Lawrence (Lawrence of North, that is), during an intermission of the famed IRI.

Perhaps the contestants can begin their battle seated under the tetra-zoidical score-up-top-of devices that will line the killing fields.

[MissInformation]

Originally Posted by Amanda Morrison

Alright, Dave, game's on. You'd better start training now.

But you forgot to mention this, so I'll say it first- no documentation of this event is allowed OF ANY KIND. You may have lost your dignity, but I kinda like mine.

I don't want you to think I don't have any faith in you, but I really think you've lost this contest. Start with this picture and go forward a little... Dave won the great cupcake showdown. You know how hamsters can stuff their faces? I think somewhere along the line, one of Dave's ancestors was a hamster.

So, if it's come down to an eating contest, does this mean the Hawaiin shirts, grass skirts and fishnets are out?

Heidi

<==================>
Dave's little disclaimer doesn't say anything about tampering with the donuts...

[Amanda Morrison]

I will now state that this competition is hereby null and invalid, because nobody told me Dave could dislocate his jaw to eat.



Also, nobody told me that Dave had hair that wasn't gray, at some point.

Well, despite all my protests, Dave wants to go through with this. I have never turned down a fair bet in all my life, and I don't intend to start now. However, this is quite the disadvantage, and I don't think it's exactly fair...

[dlavery]

Just as background, I have been know to eat an entire Big Mac in one bite. I didn't choke once, but my college roommate turned purple from lack of breath, he was laughing so hard...

Originally Posted by Amanda Morrison

Also, nobody told me that Dave had hair that wasn't gray, at some point.

Pppppbbbbbtttt! Oh, I am SO going to hold you to this bet now! We also have to settle on the stakes - it has got to be more than just the title of "best legs." Since I can never pass up on an opportunity to tie together multiple CD threads, how about this: I have observed that a certain article of slightly-used bedding has become available within the FIRST community. I believe that this noteworthy cushion should not remain underutilized. So, I suggest that the LOSER of our little competition shall receive and be required to use one JVN-hair-bearing, significantly slobber-soaked, more-than-just-a-little-bit-nasty pillow. If, prior to the awarding of this questionable "prize," Andy Baker should obtain it and use it as a resting place for one of his pigs, so much the better.

You game?

-dave

[Amanda Morrison]

I simply don't understand how this is a competition for best legs. So, in the spirit of tying things together, I will accept your challenge- only if the contest is done with both of us in our own skirt.

You can bring your own skirt, but it must be no longer than knee length (and no shorter than.. uh, necessary). The kilt that was mysteriously 'stolen' from MOE will suffice. In the event that you don't own an acceptable skirt, I will provide one (and you will be able to approve it before the event). The only things to be worn underneath the skirt are things that are normally worn underneath a skirt, pants are unacceptable.

/edit: Travis, please, PLEASE do not EVER AGAIN imply that I would be in the SAME SKIRT as Dave. PLEASE.