CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #66

[Ian Curtis]

Heidi: Ok kids, picnic 101. Ya see flys always get in the potato salad and the ants always try to get into the watermelon. Now I forgot my flyswatter today so I'm going to demonstrate how to do it with my patented "Invisi-Swatter" so the fly has no chance at all. Lavery are you paying attention!?
Dave: Snoooooorrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeee
Heidi: Whatever. Then you assume this position *this is where the picture was taken*.

[tiffany34990]

kid1: where is the fork already.. how do i use chopsticks?? somebody help me

kid2: hmm chopsticks taste good to eat
Heidi to kid2: you know you aren't suppose to eat the chopsticks right?!




<not an entry> sorry i have to tease about chopsticks..some people just can't use them correctly and well have bad manners with them <not an entry>

[Bill_Hancoc]

And that is how you eat a picnic with chopsticks in a nutshell...

[MissInformation]

The reason people like me will never pass Parenting 101: “No vegetables until you finish your desert!”


<not an entry> Do you really think Mattel would go for a Dave doll? There could be Formal Wear Dave and NASA Engineer Dave and of course, Pimp Dave. Andy, you have daughters, would you buy them a Dave doll? <not an entry>

[KarenH]

According to our best guess, in the 2006 game robots will have to use chopsticks to stack soda cans on a dollhouse. In order to design a chopstick-wielding robot, we must first learn how to use the chopsticks ourselves. Good job, kids! But please, no slurping.

[Elgin Clock]

Originally Posted by MissInformation

<not an entry> Do you really think Mattel would go for a Dave doll? There could be Formal Wear Dave and NASA Engineer Dave and of course, Pimp Dave. Andy, you have daughters, would you buy them a Dave doll? <not an entry>

<also not an entry> Sorry Dave, I should of never put those ideas into her head.. Forgive me? </also not an entry>

<another non-entry><sidetracked thought> Speaking of FIRST related action figures: http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/sh...n+Matt+Hoffman </sidetracked thought></another non-entry>

[EricS-Team180]

<Dave's thought bubble> "I can always count on Heidi...so thoughtful and creative with the kids...yaz yaz"

<Heidi:> "OK kids! Seal your lips with a jello square and plug you noses with the chop sticks....last one to pass out wins!"

[dlavery]

/me thinks: "I don't care how many times she tries it, or how loudly she yells about it, there is just something fundamentally wrong when Heidi uses both hands to eat with her chopsticks..."

[Goober!!!]

Dave: Next year im going to Bring jello and chop sticks to every team at the championship!!!

[Dorienne]

Heidi: Okay children let's help Dave make his dollhouse so he can play with his little cutesy wootsy friends...

Dave is seemingly reading the manual, but slowly lowers it to look at Heidi with glaring eyes. Unbeknownst to Heidi, Dave is reading a secret plot on how to finally destroy his evil nemesis.

Dave: Just you wait, Heidi, just you wait...

Kids: HAHA YOU'RE A LITTLE GIRL WITH COOTIES WHO LIKES TO PLAY WITH DOLLIES!

Dave: THEY'RE NOT DOLLIES THEY'RE MY FRIENDS!

Kids: O_O;

Dave: ...

[Al Skierkiewicz]

As her team intenetly listens, Heidi explains the next team building activity. Dave (who is faking a nap) begins planning new and varied ways of drawing Amanda Morrison into the ever expanding universe of eating competitions now that KK's have become passe.

[Andy Baker]

Dave, thinking:

Sheesh, here we go again. If I had a nickle for every time I heard the "how Heidi fought off a street gang with her chopsticks" story, I could pay for my own mission to Mars.


<not an entry... btw... Heidi... if there was a Dave doll, my daughters would each want one. My eldest had a pet Gecko, but it died. The Dave doll could be a cheap substitute. The younger two are big with Barbies... so Dave could play the role of "grampa" to Barbie. >

[nehalita]

Heidi: J-E-L-L-O it's aliiiive
(and dave is...not....)

[EddieMcD]

"THIS JUST IN! Dave Lavery: A Barbie girl in a Barbie world? News at 11..."

[Billfred]

Apologies on the lateness of this one. Yesterday I went to the South Carolina State Fair to help out at the FIRST booth there, and by the end of it, I felt like I'd just spent a day at a regional. (I might as well have--I was in 342's pit, by 1398's robot, talking to people wanting to know what it does.)

First place goes to:

Originally Posted by T. Hoffman

Heidi: "No, Timmy! That's a bad little Timmy! Don't eat the green jello! Those are the "Stolichnaya Specials" I made for Dave! He's already playing with dolls. After he downs a few more of these green beauties, I'll have enough Photoshoppable pictures to last me for decades!"

Meanwhile, Dave, holding a Barbie doll in his left hand and a Ken in his right, is happily lost in the fantasy world his befuddled mind has created...

NASA Groupie Barbie: "OMG! OMG! OMG! NASA Engineer Ken, I worship the ground you walk on! The exploration of Mars is so interesting!

NASA Engineer Ken: "Yeah, baby, I love to go where no man has gone before. I'd love to explore the uncharted terrain of your lips...."

NASA Engineer Barbie: <slaps Ken with plastic hand> "Well I'm speaking English, but you're obviously speaking metric. Get lost, creep!" <moves on to next victim> "Oh, there's NASA Engineer Dave! I think I'll go and meet him!"

<Dave puts Ken down and picks up his favorite possession - a perfect scale model of himself in a pimp suit>

NASA Engineer Dave: <in deepest Barry White voice possible, interspersed with musical interludes from the soundtrack of "Shaft"> "Heyyyyyyy, baby. Chicka chicka wow wow, chicka wow, wow. What's happenin'?"

........

COPYRIGHT MMV TRAVIS HOFFMAN CREATIONS, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Second place goes to...

Originally Posted by Wayne Doenges

Heidi: We will be having a contest to see who can eat their jello the fastest using only chopsticks. Please be very quiet as Dave is getting old and needs his rest. On three.....1......2......3.......GO!
Dave: "Snort" (wakes up) We have liftoff!!

Honorable mentions go to...

1) JosephM
2) Elgin Clock
3) Jay H 237
4) Denman
5) Gary Dillard
6) EddieMcD
7) Andy Baker
8) Al Skierkiewicz
9) dlavery
10) EricS-Team180
11) KarenH
12) MissInformation

And the burn award...

Originally Posted by Dorienne 007

Heidi: Okay children let's help Dave make his dollhouse so he can play with his little cutesy wootsy friends...

Dave is seemingly reading the manual, but slowly lowers it to look at Heidi with glaring eyes. Unbeknownst to Heidi, Dave is reading a secret plot on how to finally destroy his evil nemesis.

Dave: Just you wait, Heidi, just you wait...

Kids: HAHA YOU'RE A LITTLE GIRL WITH COOTIES WHO LIKES TO PLAY WITH DOLLIES!

Dave: THEY'RE NOT DOLLIES THEY'RE MY FRIENDS!

Kids: O_O;

Dave: ...

I'm not really sure how to follow such a thing, except to post the scores:

Gary Dillard	39
EddieMcD	37
Nehalita	35
MissInformation	34
Dlavery	30
Jay Trzaskos	30
T. Hoffman	29
Jay H 237	28
Rich Wong	28
Amanda Morrison	26
KathieK	25
EricH	25
Dorienne 007	23
Arefin Bari	23
EricS-Team180	22
Al Skierkiewicz	21
Wayne Doenges	20
“Big Mike”	20
Bcahn836	19
Icurtis	17
Andy Baker	16
Xzvrw2	15
Kyle45	13
1derboy	13
JosephM	12
Koko Ed	12
DCA Fan	12
Alex Cormier	10
Ashley Christine	9
Kjhobin	8
Mechanicalbrain	8
Pat McCarthy	7
DanielBCR	7
Dave Scheck	7
Brandy836	6
JVN	6
KarenH	6
Miketwalker	6
Squirrelrock	6
Conor Ryan	6
Goober!!!	6
Tiffany34990	5
Elgin Clock	4
Kevin Kolodziej	4
RoboMom	4
Cyberguy34000	4
Denman	4
Greencactus3	4
Sciguy125	4
Spears312	4
Rich Kressly	3
Richardp	3
Ryan Foley	3
Greg Needel	3
Adam Richards	2
Andrew Rudolph	2
Jessica Boucher	2
Kyle	2
Meredith343MiM	2
Ogre	2
Bill_Hancoc	2
Liz C	2
Wetzel	2
anna~marie	1
Barry Bonzack	1
Ben Lauer	1
Budda648	1
Eugenia Gabrielov	1
First degree	1
John Wanninger	1
KyleGilbert45	1
Lisa Perez	1
Matt Attallah	1
Termite233	1
Tytus Gerrish	1
Wilshire	1
Rees2001	1

Onward!