Conflict with Mentor

[DonRotolo]

Originally Posted by JesseK

These sound like the types of conflicts that occur between professional engineers and Program Managers. The only thing you're 'entitled' to is an explanation

The only reason you would want an explanation is so that you do not make the same mistake again in the future.

Originally Posted by thefro526

I'd suggest sitting down with the mentor in question with at least one other Adult present and discussing your issues. Stay very polite and very impartial and you should get the answer you're looking for, but it may not be what you want to hear.

Originally Posted by eagle33199

I'm not sure how the lead mentor can really fulfill his responsibilities - yeah, work comes first, but being out of communication for 2 weeks during a 6 week build season is a serious indication that it might be time to pass the responsibilities to someone else and let him take a smaller role on the team.

These quotes echo my thoughts exactly.

When I have an issue with a program manager (good call Jesse) I know I'm at least entitled to an explanation. I approach it very openly, and make it perfectly clear that I'm not looking to blame or question the decision, instead my real intention is to get information along the lines of what thefro526 wrote - and I ask them to not mince words or dance around the topic: Say what needs to be said, brutal it may be.

(And, in some cases, it WAS brutal. And I did NOT like hearing it. But further honest reflection showed that it was true. And knowing 'my breath stinks' has helped me far more than any thanks and praise I've ever received.)

While the mentor is delivering their opinion/explanation.whatever, don't say anything (unless you didn't understand a word, then ask for a repeat). Do not interrupt, do not defend yourself - just listen. After they are done, be sure to thank them for their honest feedback, and close the books. Arguing or defending is not how to accept feedback. Someone who shares their opinion cannot be wrong - their opinion is their opinion.

Good luck, I hope you learn something for all this heartache.